Thursday, August 23, 2012

Tomorrows another day

There is a song by Jo Dee Messina "Bring on the rain"....

Yesterday my heart ached for our baby so desperately. I first started my morning with a professor who is about as far as I would be right now with our precious one. Then something was mentioned about Sunday being a baby dedication for our dear friends.

I was fine until Praise and Worship last night. I think because when I worship its with my heart and soul. Of course it opens yourself up emotionally and thats when the dam broke.

I was just hit with a wall of pain. So painful I could hardly breathe. At one point I was crying so hard I fought the temptation just to RUN! I just kept pouring my heart out to Jesus and at times just listening.

Grief is a funny thing. You think your ok and your healing... then BAM..

My heart is broke. I miss our baby so much that at times I can't think. I am healing. And I am making it.But last night was one of those nights I just wish I had my baby.

I want to cuddle her.
Kiss her face.
Hug her close.
Sing to her.

I don't have those things. I won't have those things. She went to Heaven before me.

I don't have answers. I have a faith in a God that gives me strength. And I realize my finite mind can not understand his infinite one.

So here is this song. I don't know why it was comforting it just was. So until tomorrow...

Happy Blogging!



2 comments:

  1. Im so sorry you had such a difficult day! I know God is going to continue to bring you and Josh healing and that, in time, he will replace your pain with a sweet peace and joy.

    Love you!

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  2. I am crying with you dear. I love you and love the little one that none of got to see or hold. I know one thing I can tell you though, I'll will hug her enough for all of us because I'll get there sooner. And just think Grandma Pruitt loved babies! I know she is looking after her along with Jesus and the angels.
    Now smile dear, because she is smiling too.

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