Aunt LaLa

Look at this beautiful face. She is a miracle. This is the only time you will find her still- while she is asleep.  And she is a handful. Smile.  She is full of spunk and energy, she is so smart. She has has been going to sleep with this cute ABC book pop-up book. These past few weeks, her and I have been battling. She is headed toward the three year old mark, and frankly I feel like on some days she could be THE poster child for a text book "Threenager" When I say there has been more than one moment I've been brought to tears, I am being honest.  In fact just last week I sent Josh a text from the living room while he works in our bedroom... (while Esther was screaming like a wounded animal)  "She has defeated me" with a cute little white flag. Made a funny post about it on Facebook.  But in all honestly, I thought.... "Lord, help me. What am I going to do?" I remember going through a tough time with Ethan, but he was much different. Things that have a...

I wrote this post last month actually... and I felt it needed some editing. Here is the finished post. I didn't change the ending because in the moment of writing this God was working on my heart and turned my pity party into a very humble and personal moment... I hope it touches your heart in some way. These past couple weeks have been harder for me. Not sure if it's my sweet natured baby is now yelling, pitching fits, hitting when he is mad... Sigh. Then I was sick. Then hormones are acting up.  Whatever the cause I've really missed my life being just Josh and I.  I miss being able to stay on the phone for way too long with my best friend. I miss being in school.  I miss the camraderie of my cohort. I miss being able to enjoy going to work.  I would not change having Ethan. My BIG little miracle. The gift of being a mommy is one of the greatest gifts. I love him so much. But being a mommy sometimes is lonely. There is a sacrifice to be...

Life is full of things you can never prepare for. We all make plans, goals, dream about the future... In reality, we do not know what is going to happen tomorrow or in the next moment. When the enemy drags us down and keep us in the dark places of bitterness, anger, discontent, depression, grief, negativity... we miss out. We miss out on laughs and good times because we are so consumed with our junk. Do we really want to live like that? I do not. But have you ever noticed how easy it is to get to that place and stay there? How it is so hard to get back that happiness? Ever sat down and thought about that? Maybe I am a different breed (smile) but I think a lot. I'm super aware of my decisions and emotions. Most of the time that is not a bad thing, but when I allow myself to get in those previous mentioned dark places it is certainly NOT a good thing. There has been so many words of wisdom I've heard over the weekend.  Through other women and through the Holy Spir...

God is faithful in the small and big things.  His love is everlasting.  His peace surpasses all understanding.  His mercy and grace are unending... Oh how I love Jesus! This is on my heart this morning. God has been so faithful to me. Sometimes I forget how much he loves me. I was reminded again Tuesday night at my monthly ladies group meeting (SafeHearts). A sister was sharing her heart. Which sounded alot like mine... Shame - Beacause I've made a mistake Guilt - for failing Heartbreak- because I can't get it right Heartache - because I'm grieving so hard (This is my heart not hers) Having feeling s and emotions are fine. Its OK that I am griev ing . God built ou r minds , bodies, and gave us these emotions. He created me this way.  However there is a slight problem... it s when these stru gg les become your focus and not God. When all you can do is concentrate on the heartache or struggle. I believe we go through seasons of when ...

Everyone of us has a past... The past molds us to who we are. This could be bad or good. We allow some things to dictate everything we do. I've seen this come in many forms. Fear Guilt Shame humbleness Compassion Awareness Pride Anger low-self esteem lack of self-efficacy  poor judge of character bad relationships bad choices over eating starving addictions bitterness Some of these are good some... not so much.... well the majority I've listed are from a nagetive point of view.  I read a quote today from a devotional posted by a friend "Your past is not your past if its effecting your present" This made me think. All of our past effect us in some way... But I think the person saying this was trying to make the point of you must not let your past effect your every move and define us. It molds us and we learn from our past. But how much of our negative experiences and pain do we carry with us all the time. What kind of burden are we c...