Aunt LaLa

I was interviewed in October 2013 by WVLT when I organized a balloon release in memory of our sweet babies and to offer a place of healing for parents, family, and friends. Even though you may not hear that parent talk about their babies they lost, the thought of them is not far from their heart. I'm thankful for the healing God has done in my life and my heart. But I miss my two babies in Heaven terribly. I hold them dear to my heart. October is pregnancy and infant loss awareness month and the 15th is PAIL Day. So, Tuesday October 15th at 6:30pm, Josh and I will release balloons for our two sweet babies. Hope (May 2012) and Sarah (September 2016) If you are are local, your welcome to join us with your balloon. Or if you would like I will write your baby's name on a balloon to release. You can leave the name in the comments, or private message me. Know that if you are grieving your sweet baby, you are not alone. And having other children does not diminish your love for y...

Whew!! That was ROUGH! Our sweet girl is about to be nine months (insert momma crying hysterically)... Literally the day she turned six months it felt like the sun came out and the fog moved away. Like taking a breath of fresh air. Like a days and days of cold, cold rain. Then you wake up because the SUN is shining in your face, the clouds moved on. My FOG was gone!! You know I have heard so many times that each pregnancy is different. And it was. I've been told each delivery is different. And it was. But for whatever reason I never thought about postpartum being different. I prepared myself mentally and emotionally (I wrote about my postpartum depression  HERE ). I talked to my Dr. about it. I was READY! Well... I WAS NOT ready (Face ---> Palm) Josh and I talked about warning signs and what our plan was. We talked about how we were going to transition in our relationship and how we were going to handle Ethan's jealous...

Grace. Such a small word to hold so much weight. And God has been showing me different ways to extend grace to those around me. Growing up I felt I had to be perfect, never wanting to disappoint my Heavenly father or my earthly one as well. No one really ever said "Lauren, be perfect"...yet somehow I spent years of my life (and still occasionally) fight for perfection. I can extend love and understanding to others. I always try to see from the others perspective, because we each perceive every situation in our own way. But to those we love most and are the closest to us...oh those are the ones that test us. You want so bad for them to do better. For their life to be full of good, Godly things. Maybe I am alone in this, but I am tested most by this area. You see, my expectations for myself are SO HIGH, I have a hard time excepting failure. Broken promises. Mistakes. It is exhausting. I am much better than I was, but I am a work in p...

Before I give you the challenge, let me give a back story. In 1997 there was a twelve year old girl who dreamed of her prince Charming. She had filled her little girl heart full of Disney princes... and their magic. Movie magic. Fast forward to 1999 she was now almost fourteen and attending a youth conference. They talked about all sorts of topics. The topic that caught her attention was the "Dating with Purpose" concept. Not every fourteen year old is preoccupied with who God wants them to marry. Or what God has to say about dating. She started writing in a journal to her future husband, after being inspired by a famous Christian artist. And started to pray over him. Whoever he was. But at that conference she made the choice to not date just anyone. She wanted to guard her heart. To only date someone who had the qualities of the husband she dreamed of. So she made a list, and prayed over it. Furthering her commitment to God and herself, not to kiss or be intimate wit...

In a post I mentioned that J and I had resigned as Jr High Youth leaders. It was not a quick decision. We have loved serving as Jr High Youth Leaders, and have watched several groups move on and now are in college. We started the Jr High group in August of 2010. I have to admit that first group holds a special place in our hearts. About a year and half ago J and I both felt God pushing us to something else. We did not feel it was right to leave the Jr High yet, but we felt there was a change coming. Last year we started helping teach the Sr High and Jr High together. It was a great learning experience. And we LOVE our kids at HCF. (Our church) Then a few months ago, we started feel that pull again, except this time we felt free to resign. We had not talked with anyone else except for our close friends to help us pray. Now, we felt released but had no where to go really... there are several areas that we volunteer anyway. But for our main ministry outlet we did know wh...

I hope somehow these post about marriage have helped you or maybe remind you of what you may need to revisit in your own marriage. It has reminded me of some of the most important things that are needed for a happy and healthy marriage. I have had four post and this makes my fifth. The four post covered... Quality Time Communication Loving Yourself Compromise This last post will wrap up the Keys to a Happy and Healthy Marriage... for now  I really feel like marriage is not promoted in our culture. Instead we have a "Try it on" mentality. Live with the person first. Then if you don't like them... well it is easy just break up. But being in a marriage...having that commitment is sacred. It is a life commitment. Until death do you part. Sometimes...marriages do not work out. Someone said something to me who did not get that happy ending all us girls dream about. "God hates divorce. Hates it. Do you know why? Because of ...

I admire my cousin. She lost her husband last year. His birthday was this last month. In a post she wrote that she wasn't moving on but she was moving forward. Life continues, it doesn't stop for your crisis, grief, problems, delays... It just goes. It is really inconsiderate like that. I think one of the most difficult things to process for me this last season of my life was that very thing- moving forward. I dug my heels and refused to move until I was ready. Which trying to do that with a toddler that is one of my greatest joys in life is almost impossible. I felt guilt for not thinking of Little Bit...Or being happy. Then there are times when guilt comes because I have not "moved on" or "counted my blessings" This journey has been more difficult in some ways than losing Hope... And in someways it's been easier It hurts my heart that I have two babies in Heaven. Not just hurt... Its broken... But it's held together with love. ...

Happy Friday!! For the last 21 days I've been apart of a fast...  What is a fast?  Glad you asked... To me personally it means to set aside something that I enjoy. A sacrifice. In place of this thing replace it with prayer and time with God.  I feel it is like an extra "umph" to my prayers and petition with God. Like shooting a flare gun to Heaven... I am not a scholar and that my friend is the best I way I can explain it in layman's terms. It's not something to treat lightly...Or to get attention ( Jesus teaches against that in Matthew 6:5)  It's a personal thing between you and God.  At the first of every year of church does this fast together. And we see God move in such a mighty way. He honors our sacrifices.  But it's been painful too... At least for me.  As I replaced my idol time with time in the Bible and praying there were things in my spirit that were not pleasing to God. Certain things that had...

Happy Thanksgiving readers wherever you are. As your reading this I'm celebrating with my family. I said in my last post that I was working on a post about how God once again let me know "his eye is on the sparrow" A couple weeks ago I was honored to fill in singing on our worship team. I love each opportunity that God gives me to use the gifts he has given me Right before service started I stopped to talk to a young lady who often comes to our church. She had brought her newborn niece with her. Instantly I asked if I could hold her. The moment that little girl was in my arms, something inside me broke. Not necessarily in a bad way but more of a wall grief had come crashing down. In that instant I knew I wanted a baby again. I want to hold our baby in my arms and cover her face with kisses. This overwhelming feeling had me in tears... Struggling not to sob I headed to the stage and worshipped. I sang with all my heart. After church I t...

Look at that cuteness!! I feel almost obligated to apologize to anyone who has prayed, read, or had interest in all the on goings of Aunt LaLa....  I had plans, big plans to record everything. Blog about all life's muses about being a new mom, new jobs, moving, family, J and Ethan. But I haven't.  I guess any mom can relate to when you had your first baby, life changes in so many ways. Ethan has become my life, everything else I finish with the goal of getting back to play and cuddle. Blogging has not seem that important I guess. Oh but how I love to write!  Should I continue to blog? Where is Aunt LaLa going? Does Aunt LaLa - the name -  fit now?  My niece and nephews are still so important to me...  I feel like I've been in a whirlwind! September - We had Ethan early and went into the hospital October- Ethan came home and we adjusted to having a baby and J started a new job with a completely different schedule and driv...

First off, I know that almost every post (OK all of them) is about Baby Ethan... but I can't really say I'm sorry. I had so many plans and wants about this blog. I really did. I also thought I would have cute little updates and write all this great stuff now that I'm not in school. But seriously, time has RACED by... and I'm left here dumbfounded that I'm now officially in my third trimester (28 weeks today)! How did that even happen? Ethan is our miracle people. I will continue to brag and glorify God! Because we are having a son! God has stepped in so many times to comfort, give strength, and even intervene. He has protected and preserved the life of our baby boy. Whom we are already in-love with! Seriously I spend probably almost an hour everyday watching my stomach move from kicks. This is definitely a new season for me. There are so many transitions that I have faced this year. First I'm no longer a student. I want desperately to return to get my ...

As your reading this I am at the doctors waiting to be seen to find out if our little one is a boy or girl! I am amazed that we are at this point already! We will be at the half way mark on Monday - 20 weeks!! I will be posting the gender on my facebook personal and blog page on Saturday evening. This is a joyous day to celebrate a miracle. God has blessed us with a miracle... you do realize that? Even on this joyous day, my heart aches. Two years ago today we lost a baby we were not even aware of we had, Hope . My heart bleeds for those who still are in trenches of infertility. My heart bleeds for our loss... Yet , I weep at the love and grace of God. Who would have ever imagined two years ago that I would be feeling the anticipation of seeing my little one in my womb? Not me. Not Josh. I sit here crying over our loss and our blessing! Talk about conflicting emotions. Losing Hope was the darkest place I have ever walked. The deepest pain I have ever felt... Yet as I...

 Baby L at 8 weeks. Was not expecting another ultrasound. Was so excited to hear that heart beat again! 176 BPM! Strong baby! We are 9 weeks today and Baby L graduated to a Fetus today! Baby L is a size of a grape. Before your pregnant you hear all kinds of stories and advice.  I'm only about 4 weeks away from the second trimester and honestly I cannot wait!  The dangers go drastically down in the second trimester and that is really what I get mainly worried and upset about.  I have not really felt like sharing, I guess not knowing where to even start. In early January I was feeling awful. I was so emotional. I knew something was wrong with me. Honestly I was so worried. My anxiety was crazy, I was overwhelmed. All I could do was sleep. I did not know what was going on. I noticed some changes in my body. I actually made an appointment to talk with someone, that is how worried I was.  Well in December I was late, and purchases a che...

Mom took this pic of me last Friday! Those squiggly lines are the babies heartbeat!  Oh it is the most wonderful sound I have ever heard!  I'll never forget that moment of when I heard the heart beat and seen tears pouring down Josh's face.  We have been so heartbroken at times and discouraged. All through everything Josh has been my rock.  All through January when I thought I was losing my mind he was there helping me through it. To see one of his dreams fulfilled as he heard his babies heartbeat for the first time is a moment I'll treasure.  There will be so much change in our lives this year. I graduate in May and then... our baby will be here in the Fall. Cousin getting married. New nephew being born.  Such happy times ahead!!    But I have to add this in... it is on my heart. When I announced our pregnancy on here I could not help to think of all the other women who were reading that post feeling forgotten ...

Sorry for my absents and delay in telling you who won the giveaway so without further ado Barbara K you are the winner!! Congrats to you Barbara! I'll be sending you a message shortly!! Look forward to another giveaway next week!! So if you want another chance or missed this one. Look forward to an very important post Friday evening sometime! ITS BIG!! PROMISE!! Here is something I want to share with you That's right! On May 10th I will be graduating with my Bachelor of Arts!  I'm so excited!! To God be all the Glory!   So emotional!  Love,  Aunt LaLa

So we are 7 days into 2014 and I've been doing some contemplating on this year. We started the year off freezing to the point of numbness... Seriously it took more than an hour to get feeling back in my derrière ! HA! But it was so much fun! Starting the year with great friends! Getting to see the ball drop in Pigeon Forge at the Island! Seeing the band and the light show! It was a great time!  This year has started off great really! Some very powerful prayers have been said over me, and I claiming them by faith.  I am part of a great move of Happy Wives ! (Seriously check out THIS book) I have started this year with my family all relatively healthy!  I get to see my best bud next week!  We have had a great snow/ice storm here! Loving it!  There are some big events happening this year! I'm so excited! ~ I graduate in May! It really is surreal! I am down to 3 classes! ~ My little cousin is getting m...

This post is part of the Happy Wives Club Blog Tour which I am delighted to be a part of along with hundreds of inspiring bloggers. To learn more and join us, click here!  This blog tour had me thinking of what I wanted to say about marriage... I look around me and I see some unhappy marriages and I see some HAPPY WIVES :) (happy marriages) When I see the unhappy ones I wonder if they have forgotten why they got married in the first place?  I think even a happy and healthy marriage you have those bad days where there is miscommunications, hurt feeling, and unmet expectations.  I love my hubs, I'm a HAPPY WIFE! But guess what? My Josh and I are human and boy do we fail.  On those days where it seems we are just "off" or maybe it is a transitional period or what ever life throws at you maybe it would be a good idea to remind your self why you married the man/woman you married.  First, why marry? Why did you want to get married? We have to...

Happy Thanksgiving to you! I hope you know how thankful I am to know each of you through this blog world!  All my love, Aunt LaLa

I started following Jennifer at Unveiled Wife early this year. I love her desire and passion to help marriages. When I got married I was fortunate enough to have some what of a realistic view of marriage. I knew it would be work, but honestly I never imagined the struggles, arguments, crisis we would face in our marriage.  I truly believe that the enemy tries to isolate us and make us feel we struggle alone. He has tried so in my grief.  Any one who knows J and I know that we have a special love, we are each others help mates. When God created each of us, when we were in our mother's wombs, we were meant for each other.  I do not think that our society promotes happy marriages, it does not promote the marriage that God wants us to have.  I love journaling and devotions... obviously.  Jennifer wrote a devotional called "Wife After God".  I wrote Jennifer and told her I would love to do a book review for her devotional. I was so exci...