He knew what I needed
Happy Thanksgiving readers wherever you are.
As your reading this I'm celebrating with my family.
I said in my last post that I was working on a post about how God once again let me know "his eye is on the sparrow"
A couple weeks ago I was honored to fill in singing on our worship team. I love each opportunity that God gives me to use the gifts he has given me
Right before service started I stopped to talk to a young lady who often comes to our church. She had brought her newborn niece with her. Instantly I asked if I could hold her.
The moment that little girl was in my arms, something inside me broke. Not necessarily in a bad way but more of a wall grief had come crashing down.
In that instant I knew I wanted a baby again.
I want to hold our baby in my arms and cover her face with kisses.
This overwhelming feeling had me in tears... Struggling not to sob I headed to the stage and worshipped. I sang with all my heart.
After church I told Josh what I felt. We cried and held hands. Talked it out.
We decided that day we want to have another baby.
No matter how that happens. It may through adoption and it may be me becoming pregnant. All we know is that we want to continue this journey and one day give Ethan a sibling.
That day we met my in-laws for dinner at Cracker Barrel. After dinner we headed to the store part. As I'm looking one if the employees was stocking and I was looking these beautiful shirts (wishing I was a little richer)
The employees commented on how beautiful they were and I said something about wishing they were cheaper.
We began a conversation about her wanting to marry a man with money... She had been single for a number of years...that led us to talking about God's perfect timing.
She said that her son that she had given up for adoption found her five or so years ago after searching for her after thirteen years.
With big tears her eyes she looked at me and said, "God always works things out in his perfect timing"
I agreed with her, and said I've learned that many times.
She gave me a big hug, and I told her that we lost our baby and it's been so rough.
She had been there and said
"No matter big or small, 6 weeks to giving birth, that was your baby. He will work it, in his way his timing"
I walked away from that conversation feeling like God was saying "I see you, I hear you, your important to me"
I'm not a second thought to God! I'm important to him, I'm a priority to him.
This Thanksgiving I'm thankful that I'm a mommy to my baby boy. I'm thankful for my husband is such a great man. Dad. Husband.
I'm thankful that I have my grandfather still with us after a very hard year health wise. And thankful for my grandmother who has had to fight along side of him and be the caretaker.
I'm thankful for my parents, my in-laws, my siblings, my aunt's and uncles, cousins...
I'm thankful for my church family
I'm thankful for my readers, your
comments and messages keep me writing.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!! ❤❤❤❤