I was interviewed in October 2013 by WVLT when I organized a balloon release in memory of our sweet babies and to offer a place of healing for parents, family, and friends. Even though you may not hear that parent talk about their babies they lost, the thought of them is not far from their heart. I'm thankful for the healing God has done in my life and my heart. But I miss my two babies in Heaven terribly. I hold them dear to my heart. October is pregnancy and infant loss awareness month and the 15th is PAIL Day. So, Tuesday October 15th at 6:30pm, Josh and I will release balloons for our two sweet babies. Hope (May 2012) and Sarah (September 2016)
If you are are local, your welcome to join us with your balloon. Or if you would like I will write your baby's name on a balloon to release. You can leave the name in the comments, or private message me.
Know that if you are grieving your sweet baby, you are not alone. And having other children does not diminish your love for your baby or babies you lost. It still hurts.
Even though I'm in a busy and blessed season of life, I want to stop and remember my babies. I miss them. I look forward to the day when I can hold them.
Sarah is a wonderful name! And Hope is too. I think the loss of a baby born or not is such a heartbreak. Some handle it with less grief than others but still any level of grief is too much to have to go through. I am so thankful for Ethan and Esther! They bring so much joy to our lives! Love my grandchildren and great grandchildren and hopefully get to meet the great great. Oh my I am old! Love you, old grams
Starting last Monday this week was a complete roller coaster. Not sure if I could ever explain to anyone how painful it has been. I've struggled with if I should write about my experience. To write about something so close to you can make you seem so vulnerable. Writing has always helped me. I've kept a journal since I was nine. I've always been very analytical with my feelings and things going on around me. Which is why I have a journal, a prayer journal, and a blog :) Crazy, I know. I usually don't have much time to write in any of them, but the blog. I wonder how many women suffer silently because of what this one even does to us emotionally, physically, and spiritually. I don't want to suffer alone. I needed to know that what I'm feeling is normal. Even though people can be very sympathetic, some seem like it is no big deal. It was a big deal. And every second with the Lords help I'm making it. Last Monday night I had a miscarriage. Even as I type ...
"Do you ever feel like you are living Groundhog day?" This was the question Josh asked me this morning. My response was yes! :) Josh and I were talking last night about when was the last time we had actually just went away for the weekend. Not going to visit, not holidays... but just he and I. Just to unwind.. It has been a year. I know some couples hardly go away for anything but up until last year Josh and I went on small trips just to wind down. We would go off on Saturdays with no plans but to just spend time together. We went spent some time together in August. It was our vacation at home. It was wonderful but just wasn't the same not being able to actually go anywhere. Last year we went for a weekend in February and then spend some time with Friends in April. Then May was just heartbreaking and incredibily stressful. There has been so many events, stress, and a thousand other things... But this year we are going to get back in this groove. Starting this ...
One year ago today a new season in my life was manifested. One year ago this morning around 2am we lost our precious baby. Hope would be around 4 months right now had she been meant to stay on this earth. Even though my heart is broken I feel Gods presence with me today, so strong. Through many talks and prayers with my God, I made it through these last few days without being devastated. Through my obiedance I believe God gave more healing to my heart. Sunday morning was extremely difficult. But I received so much support. Physically, mentally, and spiritually. My sweet friends and family held me hand, rubbed my back, gave me hugs as I stood for the first time as a mom on the stage with the rest of the moms. I can not even begin to describe how much they helped. I know without their support and God's supernatural strength I wouldn't have made it through. As I left service I felt a little lighter, a little bit of that dark grief left. Last night was our women...
Sarah is a wonderful name! And Hope is too. I think the loss of a baby born or not is such a heartbreak. Some handle it with less grief than others but still any level of grief is too much to have to go through. I am so thankful for Ethan and Esther! They bring so much joy to our lives! Love my grandchildren and great grandchildren and hopefully get to meet the great great. Oh my I am old! Love you, old grams
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