Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Welcome Baby C!

I have a new nephew! Thank you so much for praying for my sister Kim! 

C was born 4 weeks early and he did give us a bit of a scare... but praise God he is well!! 

God is so faithful! 

I'm thankful for the protection of my sister and new nephew! 

Looking forward to meeting him for the first time!

Born 5-22-13 4lbs 10.8 oz 17 1/2 inches long. Born at 4:01 pm

Monday, May 20, 2013

Think about this...

Do you know what I think would be AMAZING!!??

If every couple had to go through pre-marital counseling. I am not talking about a few 30 minute sessions either.

I mean a weekend or workshops devoted to learning how to have a healthy marriage. J and I were so fortunate to go on one of those weekends, and honestly if we hadn't I wonder how healthy we would have been or be now...

We hit some major crisis almost immediately after getting married...

I would like to think that we would still make it to the place we are right now, but I don't know.

We learned some valuable skills that have changed the course of relationships around us, and have definitely altered the way we approach things now.

We need to make our marriage a priority. Do not get so comfortable that you think everything is OK. Stay on guard look for ways to improve.

We are continuing through out life being art work of God, that changes all the time. Do you not think that includes changes (or needed changes) in our marriage?

Look for marriage workshops, retreats, devotionals, books... The best book I can recommend is the BIBLE.

Think if we practiced our "LOVE each other as your self" on our spouse how awesome that would be??

I think it is safe to say that our spouses would be grateful

Working on your marriage MATTERS....

Imagine if every engaged couple went to per-marital counseling... only to continue to use skills they learned through out their marriage...Then we could possible eliminate divorce...

Ultimately if these pre-marital courses are getting into the dynamics of marriage, communication, dreams, expectations... then those who didn't need to be getting married (I believe) would discover that.

And then IF they got married and made that commitment to use the things they learned....

Can you tell I'm compassionate about this?? Well I am . :)
Happy Wives Club
Aunt LaLa

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

One year ago today my life changed

One year ago today a new season in my life was manifested.

One year ago this morning around 2am we lost our precious baby. Hope would be around 4 months right now had she been meant to stay on this earth.

Even though my heart is broken I feel Gods presence with me today, so strong.

Through many talks and prayers with my God, I made it through these last few days without being devastated.

Through my obiedance I believe God gave more healing to my heart.

Sunday morning was extremely difficult. But I received so much support. Physically, mentally, and spiritually. My sweet friends and family held me hand, rubbed my back, gave me hugs as I stood for the first time as a mom on the stage with the rest of the moms. I can not even begin to describe how much they helped.

I know without their support and God's supernatural strength I wouldn't have made it through.

As I left service I felt a little lighter, a little bit of that dark grief left.

Last night was our women's group. Our topic: Hope.

Who else could have orchestrated these events but God? A study and prayer of Hope the night before I faced the year anniversary of losing our baby.

A couple of my sisters prayed with me. Their prayers and words were strong and challenging. But also encouraging.

This morning I woke up with a lightness and true HOPE in Christ! There was no heaviness, and I know that is because of the prayers that are being lifted up for us and I know its God's presence sticking with me today.

Is my heart still missing our child, of course. But today I stand thankful...

Thankful that ...
    Hope is never going to cry
    Hope is never to be sick
    Hope never knew darkness
    Hope will ALWAYS know Jesus...

God is so good to me. He loves me so much. As I write this with tears pouring I must tell you what he did for me this morning...

As I was walking up to the entrance at my job I heard some one say
 "Excuse me, Hey"
I turned around and there was a bus driver sitting there in her bus and reading her little tattered black bible.
 I have never talked to this lady one time.
She says: "As I watched you walked up the sidewalk here I heard God tell me to tell you something. I don't know if you have been praying to God or what is going on. But he loves you. And he is going to give you what you have prayed for. He just love you so much. He wants you to know it is well."

She then quoted a scripture to me:
But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. Isaiah 40:31

I told her what today was. She got up and hugged me pleading Jesus over me.

I am so in awe of God. He is a God of everything but he made sure that I was given HOPE on a day I might have been hopeless. He was concerned and loved me so much, ME? Lauren in east Tennessee...

He loves me. And I know today, my heart was healed again.

Thank you Lord for your presence!! Thank you for your obedient servants! 

I am simply in awe of him...

Monday, May 13, 2013

I would do it all over again

Happy Wives Club I'm joining Fawn over at Happy Wives Club talking about our marriages. Fawn and her husband surprised their loved ones by renewing their vows. Reading their sweet story made me thing of my Josh. He is such a good man. I remember our vows, and I meant them with all my heart. But I think if I said those vows right now, they would mean even more. Josh takes such good care of me. I would marry him over and over again. I love you Joshua!!

Saturday, May 11, 2013

How I am going to "deal" with Mothers Day

Over  the last couple months I have been ignoring that day that comes every May. In my heart and mind I dwelled on occasionally in prayer what am I going to do about this holiday I dread every year (if I'm honest)... this year was going to be the worst.

J and I discussed it many times. I had made up my mind. We were going to celebrate Saturday with our mothers and be MIA on Sunday.

Every person who loves us and is close knows about our precious Hope. Maybe some have even thought on what they are going to say to me, how should they handle me being around, should they get me a mothers day card?

Grief and loss can sometimes stump us and make things awkward.

Here is my answer from my heart.

After much prayer and some counsel with a dear friend... some sweet comments about our baby...

Here is how I'm going to "deal" with Mothers day.

1. I'm not going to just deal with it I'm going to celebrate it. And the women in my life that are my mother's.
2. I'm going to need lots of hugs.
3. Please don't tell me your sorry.
4. Talk about Hope, it's ok. I can handle it.
5. If you want to get me a card or wish me a happy mothers day then it's ok. This is my first mothers day that I'm celebrating as a mom. our sweet baby is just in Heaven.

I know tomorrow is going to be difficult. I know that there are going to be moments this week where grief will leave me speechless.

Above all this, God will keep me. He will be my shield, strength, and my comforter.

So please remember J and I in your prayers. That we have peace and strength.

Staying Hopeful,
Aunt LaLa

Friday, May 10, 2013

Feelings... frustration... But its Friday!

I only have 1 week and 2 1/2 days left with my students in the school atmosphere. That's it.

Haven't heard anything definite about my job continuing. So that is frustrating.

I know God has a plan.

This weekend will be difficult. Just wishing I could sleep until next Thursday.

Not sure how I'm feeling about Mothers Day. Very conflicting emotions. I can not believe next Wednesday will be  one year we lost our precious baby. I found a great poem that says what I'm feeling.

I never got to hold you & bounce you on

my lap, I never got to read to you

or watch you as you nap.  You slipped

away so quickly, before I said your name.

And yet I want the world to

know I loved you just the same.

-Anne Peterson

This rings so true in my heart. I loved Hope, I always will. *sighs* Moving on.

Friday Letter's with The Sweet Season

Dear Mother's Day, not sure how I feel about you at the moment. Not looking forward to you. 
Dear Hope, I miss you. You will be gone a year next week. 
Dear Beach, Oh how I miss you!
Dear J, you are pretty awesome
Dear S, looking forward to our talk tomorrow
Dear S and J, Can't wait until the 18th!
Dear Mel, You really do crack me up. WE are the odd ones! LOL
Dear Bosses, please get all this rolling
Dear God, I'm holding on to you with all I have. 

Staying Hopeful, 
Aunt LaLa

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Selfish Pride

God has been doing some amazing things in my life over the last month.

I'm wanting to share all of it with you!!

But even though it is Wednesday I wanted to link up with Marriage Monday over at Happy Wives Club.

I love this weeks article. It goes along with some things God has been shining a light on in my heart. 

I am reboosting my marraige by remembering it is not all about me. 
J and I DO try our best to serve one another but there are times when I fail desperately at remembering to serve him. 

I put on him expections of things I may want but sometimes I forget to say, "What do you need from me?"

Before I can fix my marraige, I need to look at my spiritual life and how prideful or selfsish am I being. 

How many times do I pray for others earnestly as I do my own heartache?
Am I calling out names of the unsaved?? 

Something to think about... And I think this song says it all!


Staying Hopeful,
Aunt LaLa