Friday, December 12, 2014

Not as planned

Look at that cuteness!!
I feel almost obligated to apologize to anyone who has prayed, read, or had interest in all the on goings of Aunt LaLa.... 

I had plans, big plans to record everything. Blog about all life's muses about being a new mom, new jobs, moving, family, J and Ethan. But I haven't. 

I guess any mom can relate to when you had your first baby, life changes in so many ways. Ethan has become my life, everything else I finish with the goal of getting back to play and cuddle.

Blogging has not seem that important I guess. Oh but how I love to write! 

Should I continue to blog? Where is Aunt LaLa going? Does Aunt LaLa - the name -  fit now? 

My niece and nephews are still so important to me... 

I feel like I've been in a whirlwind!

September - We had Ethan early and went into the hospital
October- Ethan came home and we adjusted to having a baby and J started a new job with a completely different schedule and driving time
November - our house gained VERY unwelcome guest, had to move suddenly with my grandparents for our saftey.. and give away one dog and our other is with my mom

And here we are in December. 

I'm so thankful, very thankful for my grandparents! This situation is short term, but I know that they are loving Ethan being here and this will make a special first Christmas for Ethan. 

It was nothing like I had planned... nothing in these last couple months has went as planned. 

It is teaching me to just accept where I am and realize there is a plan. God has me here in this time at this moment for a reason. With that said... it has been very difficult.

Faced with decisions that were hard and some choices have been out of my control... and I do not like that... 

Trusting God implicitly is difficult. It is hard to relinquish control and walk into the unknown. Now when we walk into the unknown it is with our baby boy. It is not just J and I. We have Ethan... 

Having a child brings on a whole new sense of protectiveness and weight of your decisions.

I feel we have made the best decisions for him in this situation. 

I'm not sure where God is taking our family of four. But I DO know that he has a plan. Please keep us in your prayers. 

As for this blog, I really want to make more time for it. 

That's the plan...  but we know how plans go... :)

Aunt LaLa

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

First time Mom: Exhaustion

I have been around babies and taking care of them from a very young age but there is just something different when it is your own. There is no "off day", no ending to the shift. 

When we came home from the hospital I was so excited and glad to just have my baby at home. So we were now on our own... no nurses and no doctors. Just my boy and I. J had to come pick us up and then return to work unfortunately. So Ethan and I were on our own... it was the best feeling ever. 

I was asked if I wanted anyone with me, or was I nervous... the answer to both was no. I honestly could not wait to get by myself with my new little boy. 

I knew that there would be sleepless nights. I knew that I was still recovering from surgery. I knew that Josh would be at work all day and I would be the main care taker of Ethan. Oh and do not forget hormones. 

Even though I knew that, I gained a whole different understanding of exhaustion. And I gained a whole new respect of my body. 

There was one night in the last 2 1/2 weeks (don't ask me when I'm too tired to remember) that little man was having some gas issues and was just crying so much. I had given him medicine and was rocking him, Josh was asleep and I knew he needed to be because he had to work... then it happened. Ethan and I both were crying. 

I can laugh about what a pitiful sight we were. But at the moment, I was exhausted... yet as my body wanted to just collapse I found the strength to get back up and walk around the house bouncing little man. Then when he finally passed his gas and had a dirty diaper too (yes I get excited about this, better out than in I tell ya) ...

I laid my little boy that had stopped crying on his changing table and he was just staring up at me. I had stopped crying too. He looked in my eyes and just sighed. It was a sigh of relief.. like "OK mom we made it!" I had to just smile, pick him up and give a billion+ kisses on his cute cheeks. 

At that moment I was still exhausted, but it was the best exhausted I had ever felt. 

Aunt LaLa

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

So many emotions

I have to remind myself that it is OK to feel what I feel... I've been told to give myself permission to just feel the way I do. There is no wrong or right...

I just re-read the blog from last year at the second balloon release for Hope and the other angel babies. My heart feels so overwhelmed with so many emotions.

Tomorrow is my birthday... I will be 29. I'm sitting right next to a miracle. A real, tangible, breathing miracle.

Ethan was not expected to have ever be... then when he was born it was almost as if we were going to lose him before we get to hold him...

I do not think I could ever explain the range of emotions I felt the 18 days he was in the hospital. The exhaustion I felt... the anger, hurt, sadness, grief, and absolute joy of being a mother to this beautiful creation!

Sometimes we are hardest critics... we compare ourselves to other people or to something that is intangible. Talking to a friend today I was reminded that we have such pre-notions of what we "should" be or who God is or expects us to be. I have never felt so desperate for God's mercy and grace in all my life than I have in this season.

He gave it. He was there, when I felt guilty for being angry and feeling this was all so unfair to have my miracle baby boy in the NICU and suffering.. it was unfair that I had to leave him EVERY night...

But each and every day God somehow showed me he loved me. Whether it was a kind words from the nurses or a text message. One time it was a random post on facebook. I have had people reach out to me to encourage me.. every single moment God was with me.

And he was with my baby boy. Each and every time the Dr's gave us the stats of how long or how hard something was going to be my God displayed his Glory by healing Ethan every day and showing the Dr's that Ethan Alexander is NO statistic.

I celebrate life tomorrow. Life after death. Life after trauma. Life after loss. Life with God. Life with my sweet boy. Life with my husband.

I'm thankful to God that he has been with me and given me strength, peace, joy, and healing.

I celebrate the lives that I know my friends and family will be missing tomorrow... and miss every day.

We love you Owen, Mattie, Ashton, and Hope. And to all the other babies who we met or did not meet we love you!

My prayers to all those are feeling grief from miscarriage, infant death, still born, or infertility. Sending you a big hug. God's peace, strength, and joy be with you.

Aunt LaLa

Friday, October 3, 2014


Ethan Alexander
10 lbs. 10 oz
Going home outfit! Mommy is happy!

First day without any tubes! Love that face!

Ethan and mommies first selfie!

Daddy finally gets to hold me for the first time!

Mommy meeting Ethan for the first time
Waiting on Daddy, we are going home!!

I know you probably thought I have fell off the face of the earth but actually I was just baking a baby and actually having him! He was born on the 15th of September at 37 weeks. From birth he had several problems and we have been in the NICU for almost 3 weeks. 

I have so much I need to write.. but tonight I shall enjoy having my baby home for the first time. 

I'm completely in love with my little boy! The Lord be praised for him and healing his body!!

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

First Time Mom: Sending an SOS

So we are just passed 30 weeks heading to 31 weeks!

I cannot believe how fast all of this is flying by. It is getting closer to D-day :)

None of the women in my family have made it to 40 weeks. Only to about 37 or 38 weeks. So from ALL the information I read (Which for this over analyzing person is two books, online classes, and many articles) genetics play a big part of all  things delivery. Or I could be the odd gene out and go over 40 weeks (please NO!) ... My guess is the little mister will be here in September.

Ethan is measuring a little on the bigger side. His belly is in the 68th percentile! He will be long as well. So... yeah I'm good for 37 weeks :)

So, since this is my first time delivering a baby. There are so many options and opinions. As previously stated I've read and read. But I really want to go in informed and know what basic things to expect. I know that there is no way to know exactly what will happen.

I found several examples of birth plans, and wow! All these decisions and I know I need to be decided before I'm in the moment because it will be too overwhelming for J and I to make those decisions.

Who do you want in the room? Circumcision or no? Vaccines? Drugs? How do you want the babies heartbeat to be monitored? Are you going to eat? Not eat? Move around or not?  Episiotomy or not? Push when I feel the urge or wait to be told?

and on, on, and on...

Then we get to postpartum. Oh boy, in all honesty I'm more concerned about that then the labor. Do you know how many women talk about the first time you go #2 after labor and how scary it is!? Ugh, or how when you pee you need to have a squirt type bottle? Then there are hemorrhoids, stitches...

So you mommies that have been through this, please any tips on postpartum and what to take with me to the hospital would be greatly appreciated!

This first time mommy needs your help!

Aunt LaLa

Sunday, July 20, 2014


That is our Ethan! Oh my heart! He is weighing 3.1 lbs, looks great! So does mommy! Just please keep praying for us.

Aunt LaLa

Wednesday, July 16, 2014


I am determined to be a good mother... like my mom

I have always dreamed about being a mommy. I mommied my cousins, my younger brother (still do sometimes), even my older sister. I was the one who reminded everyone of the rules, comforted them when they were in trouble or sad.

I want to just point out as I get older and I am entering this new season I am appretiating my mother more than I ever have.

When I got married and was learning to be a wife, I got a new perspective looking at my mom.

Now with Ethan coming... there is a drive inside of me that says "Protect that baby"

Growing up my mom would say frequently how she loved being a mom. That she loved her kids.

 I can remember when Susan Smith murdered her children in the 1990s. I can still see in my mind the news program when she begged the "person" who had them to bring the home. Then I remember the day when the news came that she had actually drowned her children. My mothers face was mortified then it turned to sadness. I remember her just praying aloud for the family and being so upset that a mother could do that. Hugging both my brother and I more frequently that day.

My mothers heart is a TRUE mothers heart. From correction, to hugs and kisses.

When I was about 12-14 years of age my mom and I went through such a rough spot. She was going through some tough things and so was I, our whole family was. There was not much communication and lots of hurt feelings. One night at a ladies meeting the speaker was talking about unforgiveness. Later on I went to the speaker and told her how angry and hurt I was at my mom, that I didn't want to feel that way. From across the room my mother heard my whispered words. I'm convinced God wanted to my mom to hear my words. After talking to the speaker mom motioned for me to come and sit by her.

The pin my mom gave me
My mom, in a humbled teary voice asked for my forgiveness. Explaining to me that she loved me more than herself and that she would try harder. In the same loving voice asked grace and understanding from me. I promised to do better too. Then mom gave me a pin to wear. She told me to wear it and remember that she will ALWAYS love me.

From that night on mom and I have been close. There were still the usual teen and parent conflicts occasionally, but it never was the same.

Now here I am about to embark on this journey, and I can count my mother as one of my closest friends. I can confide in her and trust her. We respect each other.

This woman instilled in me the importance of praising God through every circumstance, to pray about every situation, to put God first, and when I have children be the best mother that I can be. Those children are a gift from God and should be treated as so.

So this post is dedicated to my mother, Kathy. I love you!

Monday, July 14, 2014

I'm sorry, WHAT?!

First off, I know that almost every post (OK all of them) is about Baby Ethan... but I can't really say I'm sorry.

I had so many plans and wants about this blog. I really did. I also thought I would have cute little updates and write all this great stuff now that I'm not in school.

But seriously, time has RACED by... and I'm left here dumbfounded that I'm now officially in my third trimester (28 weeks today)! How did that even happen?

Ethan is our miracle people. I will continue to brag and glorify God! Because we are having a son! God has stepped in so many times to comfort, give strength, and even intervene. He has protected and preserved the life of our baby boy. Whom we are already in-love with! Seriously I spend probably almost an hour everyday watching my stomach move from kicks.

This is definitely a new season for me. There are so many transitions that I have faced this year.

First I'm no longer a student. I want desperately to return to get my masters but I want to concentrate
on Ethan and Josh for a bit first. But I have been trying to complete my degree since 2005. I have had several obstacles  and God has seen me through them. Once that was completed I was kind of lost. Wondering what may lay ahead. I was desperately trying to find a new job but every door was closed, and I realized that God may want to me to wait and stay where I'm at for now.

Second, becoming a mother has made me a different person. Probably not so much in my external behavior but my eternal process. I feel stronger and healthier (mind, spirit, and body) than I ever have. As a new mom-to-be I feel empowered and have a strong sense of determination about several things. I've shared a little about this here-----> first time mom: Resolution

These two transitions brought several small and big changes in my life. With growth comes struggles and victories.

So yes, these post are about Ethan but in a big way I'm writing about a journey. A spiritual journey of healing and restoration, a journey of physical health, a journey of becoming a mom...

So, I'm hoping that these words do not fail in encouraging someone or maybe spur some questions. I just know I love this blog and I value the friendships I've made through Aunt LaLa.

As always I'm here if you need me to pray, have questions, ect... Email me at auntlala25 [at] gmail or feel free to comment!

Aunt LaLa

Monday, June 30, 2014

First Time Mom: Resolution

Excuse the dust around here... excuse me while I tear down the cob webs....

There we go :)

What a crazy time! From wedding showers, babies, weddings, baby showers... whew now it feels like it is crunch time for baby Ethan!

We are 26 weeks today!! That's only 14 weeks until due date! 

What!? Oh my goodness... 

What a whirlwind this season has been, so many decisions and choices to think and pray about. 

The main thing that has been going on which is why it has been so quiet around here - there has been an enormous amount of stress with this pregnancy. 

When we first found out we were pregnant my A1C (in short is my overall glucose average) was a 10.?  which normal I believe is around 5.5 - 6. So I was sent to a high risk Dr. Everything was going fine, there were some issues that I chose to ignore and shrug off because I really thought it maybe me just being sensitive. 

Then in May I was treated disrespectfully, we tried to resolve this issue but was met with an attitude of arogance. I was so upset, feeling torn because how can I possible go somewhere where I feel so uncomfortable and anxious. Every appointment I was anxious. It was awful. There were also another circumstances that were causing me stress, but that main angst was my doctor. 

I prayed that God would show me what to do, where would Ethan be most taken care of?

I talked it over with a few close people, and decided I would not be returning to that practice.

As Ethan's mother and a grown women I have a choice. My body and my baby, I do not have to put myself in a situation I am uncomfortable. 

I went and visited my primary doctor and we discussed some options. Tomorrow I have my first appointment with my new OB. I am elated. I felt such weight lifted off my shoulders, it was great. I put my trust in God to guide every step and he did.

I'm thrilled  for everyone to know that my A1C is now at normal level! :) My new doctor is actually a regular OB. I cannot wait to see my baby boy tomorrow! To get us both checked out and reaffirm that we are both doing well. Please pray my A1C stays normal, sometimes in the 3rd trimester it raises and I would love to stay at a regular OB.

I wanted to share this for a couple reasons. One is to empower first time moms. I know that it is scary. There is so much that is unknown and unfamiliar. All of sudden you are faced with these decisions and choices, its so over whelming. 

I have tackled these feelings by sharing my fears and worries with J. To my surprises we are feeling the same things. (Well some of them, he isn't preparing to give birth LOL) It was so nice not to be stuck in my own head but to share. 

Then I remember that I serve a big God that he has got my back. And has given me the ability to decide what is best for our child. Ethan is the most important right now. I'm responsible for his well-being. 

Another thing, guess what? This is not anyone's child but your and your spouses! Not your parents, friends, or in-laws. This is your child. 

Most of the time advice is given because there is love and caring behind it. However, ultimatley this is the new parents decision. 

How you give birth, where you give birth, what doctor you want, what clothes you want, what decorations you want, how you want to raise your child.... it's up to mommy and daddy. 

Being pregnant has really given me a sense of empowerment as a mother and woman. I cannot explain it in words, but Ethan is not even here and my world is already drastically changing. 

So, this post is long enough :) But as always I'm here if you want to discuss this or even vent (us first moms have alot going on) 

God is so good and I cannot wait to our little miracle Ethan! 

Aunt LaLa

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

We are having a...

We will be welcoming a baby boy in October! We are so excited! 

Here is our announcement we recorded the day we found out...

This is our family finding out...

Here is the name we picked... 

We are so excited about our little Ethan! Our little miracle!! 

God is so good and faithful! Can't wait to meet our little guy! 

Ethan's mommy

Thursday, May 15, 2014

Is it a Boy or a girl?

As your reading this I am at the doctors waiting to be seen to find out if our little one is a boy or girl!

I am amazed that we are at this point already! We will be at the half way mark on Monday - 20 weeks!!

I will be posting the gender on my facebook personal and blog page on Saturday evening.

This is a joyous day to celebrate a miracle. God has blessed us with a miracle... you do realize that?

Even on this joyous day, my heart aches. Two years ago today we lost a baby we were not even aware of we had, Hope. My heart bleeds for those who still are in trenches of infertility. My heart bleeds for our loss...

Yet , I weep at the love and grace of God. Who would have ever imagined two years ago that I would be feeling the anticipation of seeing my little one in my womb? Not me. Not Josh.

I sit here crying over our loss and our blessing! Talk about conflicting emotions.

Losing Hope was the darkest place I have ever walked. The deepest pain I have ever felt...

Yet as I faced this time last year thinking and wondering how was I going to make it through Mothers Day, the 15th, Josh's birthday on the 17th, Fathers day... our hearts bruised and crushed by our lost dream.

But Joy comes in the mornings my friends... because I did not have to walk through this month in that same mind frame. I was able celebrate Mothers Day... and  tomorrow I find out if we are having a boy or a girl. Our miracle! Saturday to celebrate Josh we revealing the gender of our little one and the name!

I'm just awestruck at God's timing...

He is giving us ...

Joy where there is sorrow
Peace where there is pain
Love where there has been brokenness

I'm completely and indescribably thankful. I'm choosing to celebrate tomorrow! Celebrate this new season and I will celebrate Hope and what she brought to us.

Aunt LaLa

Saturday, May 10, 2014

Its Over

It is true...  When you read this I will be getting ready to walk across the stage with my diploma.

There are so many things changing this year.  Roles in my life that are ending and ones that are beginning.

Not to mention all my emotions about Mothers Day.

I have been a college student since 2005. August 19,2005 to be exact.  I have cried,  stressed,  studied,  accrued debt,  laughed, made great friends...  That is all coming to an end.  I'm in shock I have no book to study,  no paper to write,  no professor to complain about...  Through all the tough times,  honestly,  I'm going to miss it.  Terribly.

In just a few months I will be holding our precious little baby.  What a wonderful new, scary, overwhelming, it is a miracle role.

Add that to the overwhelming joy and still some grief in my heart,  emotions all over the place feelings I have about Mother's Day... And whew you have yourself a pretty emotional pregnant lady.

There is so much I want to write but alas I must go rest.  Energy does not come easy these days.  I can't wait to share all the baby updates.

I'm resting in God and listening to the encouraging words of my wonderful husband.

I'm so thankful!!  I made it with God's strength and mercy, added with my determination :)

Aunt LaLa

Thursday, April 24, 2014

Close to My Heart

This week is Infertility Awareness Week. If you have been hanging around Aunt LaLa for a while you know infertility is a big part of my life. Our story has been a long one, but does not compare to some of the heart ache that couples have suffered. And are still suffering. 

Struggling with infertility was the hardest things I've been through. I've lost a sweet angel. Now I'm gaining a miracle. Even though I'm finally expecting, it is still so fresh in my mind of the pain and heart ache we went through. 

We have been trying to get pregnant for four years. Never in my dreams did I think I would travel down this road or know how hard it would be. I've cried buckets and buckets through this journey! 

As a woman you struggle through so many emotions. You feel inadequate, that something is wrong with you, worthless, useless, guilt, and most of all your heart is broken. These are feelings that come and go. Sometimes are more over whelming than other times. 

Things that really bothered me hearing (even though they were spoken in love) 
"Your time will come" - "Your young you have plenty of time" - "Don't worry about it, it will happen" - "Just need to get healthier" 

In reference to losing Hope
"God needed another flower in his garden" - "There must have been something wrong"  - "Are you sure it was a miscarriage?" 

There are several others. The point in sharing this is that so we are mindful of what we say to those going through these things. Sometimes you just want a hug. Or a how are you? I wanted to be affirmed that I was going through something tough. "I love you" "Here if you need me" 

The best advice I can give is to just listen. This is a hard subject that people do not what to say or deal with. Sometimes people just want to be heard. Be available. Guess what we are not expecting you to fix it. So if some thing makes you cry while talking to me, cry with me. If you feel your heart hurting say, "My heart hurts for you" 
I appreciate the support and love that J and I have received from family and friends. We could not have made it through this struggle with out that. 
Most of all I'm thankful to God for his strength and mercy. Most of all his joy. 

My prayers are with those who are still struggling and walking this journey of infertility. My heart hurts for you. If you need me I'm here. 

Aunt LaLa

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Am I a Safe Place?


I was struggling with some doubts and fears. It started so innocently just as casual as opening a little door to my heart.

Then as the weeks progressed and I kept the fears and thoughts to my self, the bigger and harder to handle they became.

One particular day I was trying to just read my devotional and it was like a tidal wave of attack came upon my mind.

I believe that we fight an invisible war, sometimes we see the outcomes of this war and sometimes we may not know what we were just protected from or praying against.

 Scripture tells us
12 For our struggle is not against enemies of blood and flesh, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers of this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. (Ephesians 6:12)
10 The thief (satan) comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. (John 10:10)
As I was fighting this battle in my mind, I cried out to God. To give me peace and strength. By the blood of Christ I have authority over the enemy and his devices.

I felt God's strength come upon me and a peace. The battle was still raging. However I pressed on...

A couple days passed. One night after doing our devotional I looked at Josh with tears pouring down my face and telling him this battle that I was fighting. I was afraid that I would disapoint him or hurt him in some way by sharing my heart.

But, you see, God has given me an amazing man who strives to be what God wants a spouse to be.

I shared my heart openly and was met with warmth and understanding. Hugs and encouraging words. He prayed for me. 

The next day I began thinking about how better I felt and the weight was lifted. Wondering why I didn't talk to him sooner? But, there was this fear of hurting J and making him disapointed. Without cause, mind you, I felt this way. Eventually this would have caused a wedge between us. 

God just spoke to my heart. I thought about these wive or husbands who do not have that safe place with their spouse. They do not have that security of complete unconditional love and acceptance. 

I started questioning myself... Am I a safe place? 
As a wife?

As a friend?
As a daughter?

and so on... 

Imagine how relationships would improve if we were a SAFE PLACE for our spouse and loved ones? 

Those who may not have that right now in their lives there is ALWAYS a safe place in God's arms. He never leaves us. Even though we may but right in the middle of the storm not knowing what to do, feel, or think... he is there. He knows what to do! 

I hope this encourages and challenges you. Let's work on ourselves, to be better spouses, friends, mentors, family... most of more pleasing to God with our character. 

Aunt LaLa

Monday, April 7, 2014

First-Time Mom: Pregnancy, what they didn't tell me

I have a little miracle inside of me, a little precious baby that will have a perfect mix of J and I.... I cannot wait to hug our child and to kiss its sweet little face! My heart was bursting at seeing our child's profile and seeing their mouth opening and closing. Oh my heart!!

In saying that, this post may be TMI, just warning you. It may be embarrassing but...

I was "warned" you could say. Women told me there would be exhaustion, nauseousness, hormones...

And I listened. But I guess I cannot blame them for not being able to put into words the extreme side of these things.

Hormones- They said you are emotional, you sometimes want to just punch your hubby, then there are sometimes that all you want to do is be hugged and held. I have never felt so crazy...ever. I remember being told that it is like PMS but worse. Worse? It is so crazy that I would not even compare it with PMS! WOWZER!

It felt like I was on a roller coaster! A fast, twisty, upside down coaster... There have been moments where I'm bursting at the seams with happiness and I'm SO preoccupied with thinking about Baby L. Which actually I feel often. Then... I'm crying. I'm not talking about a little tear here and there, we are talking FULL FLEDGED UGLY CRY!  This has happened very often!

Then there is pregnancy rage! An anger and irritation that you cannot control. This one is the most bothersome to me. Seriously, I'm not an angry person... but lately I'm realizing how annoying people can be! LOL Then I cry because I feel so bad... Sounds so fun right?

Exhaustion- I have not felt like walking from the couch to the bathroom! No kidding, at times getting gas for the car seems like the most insane tiring task of my life. Falling asleep and taking naps all the time. My house... a disaster zone. Then add school, I have never wanted to NOT write a paper or presentation so bad than these last couple months. My poor cohort have heard my complaints... My famous saying "I just don't care" This coming from an overachiever!

Nausea-  Think about a stomach bug that was so bad you thought it would  never end.. times that about 1000.... then you have what I was feeling. It woke me up in the middle of the night. Now I'm thankful, SOO thankful I never got sick. Yes, Nausea was BAD! Waking up thinking that my stomach will never feel the same is not fun. I really feel for the women who suffer from morning sickness, which by the way can come at ANYTIME not just the morning.

Ready for the TMI??

Gas, no one, I mean NO ONE told me how horrible my gas would be. We store oxygen in our muscles, and when you are pregnant your muscles start to relax therefore releasing horrible gas. I have been so embarrassed! HAHA! It hurts too, it gets stuck and oh that is not fun!

Constipation- This one is bad. I've heard worse stories so I'm thankful I haven't suffered much. But your running out of room in your stomach so you feel full and bloated... but you can't seem to DOODOO anything about it. Oh yes the fun times!

I know your thinking WOW that sounds horrible! Why would I want to be pregnant... even though there is truth in all this nothing compares to the joy of being pregnant. I promise.

All of the sudden you start seeing your body change. Breast get bigger, your belly starts changing... Oh my goodness. I am AMAZED at how our bodies naturally just change and know what to do to include and grow a life in your body. There is a HUMAN BEING in you, a soul growing inside you. 

Then you feel your baby. You feel something inside of you moving. A flutter, butterflies, it is just indescribable!

To see your baby move its arms and turn over on a ultrasound at just 12.6 weeks! Or opening and closing its mouth. Even though I'm having a little fun and wanting others to feel they are not alone in this pregnancy discomforts, I'm completely in-love and thankful for my child. I would take all these things over and over.

When you suffer from infertility then you get pregnant, there is this pressure not to be honest about the feeling down, overwhelmed, tired, or saying  "Pregnancy is HARD"

Guess what? This doesn't mean I'm less thankful or I love my baby less because I say "Pregnancy is HARD" but I also say "Pregnancy is a beautiful and MIRACULOUS event"

So any pregnancy stories you want to share? Or what were/are your experiences?

Comment below or on facebook :)

Aunt LaLa

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

13 Weeks and going STRONG!

So... even though I'm not extremely showing I want to document every bit of this experience! I LOVE being pregnant! (PS. Don't get excited I only used blue font on the picture because it shows up really well... we STILL don't know the sex yet.)

Do you not just LOVE that little arm! It waved and waved at us at the ultrasound! We even got to see Baby open and closing it's mouth. I've never been so amazed. What a beautiful life that is growing in me. God is so amazing! And faithful, and I'm so so so thankful! 
I'm in my second trimester. Baby L is doing really well. Measuring on target. Actually it is measuring 3 days ahead. 

The first trimester was a roller coaster.. and to be honest this weeks has not been any different. More about that in the next post.

J and I are so excited and can hardly talk about anything else. Our little miracle is growing and growing! 

I'm loving my bump! I love looking pregnant! Even though my body seriously is a transformer, I do love it! 

We find out if we are having a boy or girl on May 15TH!! Can't wait! 

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

We got winners!!

Jenni and Samone! 

These lucky ladies won a Happy Wives Club Book!

Thanks for entering everyone!

Working on a post with all the update of Baby L! We are 12 weeks and going to the Dr. Thursday! New pictures!! 

I'm showing my baby bump too! Heehee! So excited!

Have to brag on my husband just a minute. He has been so incredibly supportive through this whole process. He has dealt with his own insecurities and fears just like I have, yet he has been my rock. He has been understanding. Husbands, you being there just listening or offering a hug or a kiss on the forehead goes such a long way. Even better, take initiative. When you see stuff piling up around the house chip in and help. I love you J!! 

Have a great Wednesday!

Aunt LaLa

Saturday, March 22, 2014

5QF - on Saturday... oops

I used to do Five Question Friday every week! Loved it! Then I got busy.. then the host took a little break from it... but this week it is back! I loved the questions... so...

1. If I had 5 minutes alone with Mother Nature I would tell her?
PICK A SEASON ALREADY!! Here in E. Tennessee there has been a confusion. It has been hard core winter than awesome spring... back to we are expecting snow... AGAIN. I'm tired of the cold! And I've always loved Winter! But enough. I'm ready for Spring! 

2. If you could eat only one thing for a whole week what would it be?
Wow, one week? That's all. Hmmm. Well it would have to be filling. Because when I'm hungry it is not a pretty sight! I would say a cheese and carb mix. Maybe a casserole of some kind. That would do me. I hope.

3. What is your favorite season and why?
Spring... everything comes alive. I feel so happy during the Spring! I love it. It is not too hot or too cold... Its just perfect. Even thought I have allergies, it is my favorite time. I love the colors of Spring. Easter is one of my favorite holidays. 

4. Do you have a meal that you are AMAZING at making? If so, share the recipe!
Well, J loves when I make hot wings, or when I on a whim season meat with what ever strikes me as good. It always turns out yummy! I have my own concoction of things. I do love and J loves my Grandma Pruitt's chicken dish. Check out the recipe HERE 
  5. What has changed in your life since the last 5QF (08/13)? 

Well the biggest change is.. we are expecting! Due 10/6. After trying for four years, our miracle is here! You can read about Baby L at the link listed below
And I'm am only one class away from graduating! I cannot believe it!  

2014 so far has been a whirlwind! Look for a post Monday announcing the winners from the Happy Wife giveaway. Also I will be showing some baby bump pics and new ultrasound pictures! Oh and probably TMI things about pregnancy EVERYONE failed to mention.... 


Aunt LaLa

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Who is a Happy Wife?

Hi everyone! 

It is not a shock or new news that I'm a huge fan and contributor over at Happy Wives Club. 

So I am giving you another chance to win Fawn's book! This book is amazing! I love the insight. And it is so encouraging. 

It is so important to our happiness and a society as a whole to work on our marraiges! 

Here are some links of Fawn going world wide to promote her book! 

Here is an interview with Fawn and Keith (her husband)

Here is a interview Fawn did with Good Day Atlanta (my hometown)

Now time for the giveaway! I'm giving away to books this time so come on win a book! 

Love, Aunt LaLa

Monday, March 3, 2014

Week 9 - How we found out

 Baby L at 8 weeks. Was not expecting another ultrasound. Was so excited to hear that heart beat again! 176 BPM! Strong baby!

We are 9 weeks today and Baby L graduated to a Fetus today! Baby L is a size of a grape.

Before your pregnant you hear all kinds of stories and advice. 

I'm only about 4 weeks away from the second trimester and honestly I cannot wait! 

The dangers go drastically down in the second trimester and that is really what I get mainly worried and upset about. 

I have not really felt like sharing, I guess not knowing where to even start. In early January I was feeling awful. I was so emotional. I knew something was wrong with me. Honestly I was so worried. My anxiety was crazy, I was overwhelmed. All I could do was sleep. I did not know what was going on. I noticed some changes in my body. I actually made an appointment to talk with someone, that is how worried I was. 
Well in December I was late, and purchases a cheap pregnancy test. Took it and it was negative. So I just put the other one under the sink. I started a few days later. So it is January 24th, and I realize I still have not started. I was late again. It was the morning and Josh had left for work. I was getting ready for work. It was a Friday. I went and took the test. 

Almost immediately I see a positive line. I'm just stood up and said "No, no I'm seeing things." So I left it there for the 5 minutes. 

Came back. Still positive. I changed lighting, went to different rooms. Still I could see the line. 

I went to the store and bought 5 test all together. I took ALL 5. ALL said I was pregnant. I was so excited! Josh was so thrilled. We both didn't know what to do, we just could not think straight! 

I called my mom and she told me to call the Dr. Then go from there. 

The Dr. confirmed I was pregnant, and I still could not believe it! I still cry when I think all the emotions I felt that day. Went and seen Josh. We cried. We laughed. Mostly we hugged and smiled. 

I had all these symptoms and still never made the connection.  Just never thought it could happen naturally. I had finally been at peace with it and was concentrating on our plans and school

January 31st we seen our baby for the first time. However, I was so early all we could see was a gestational sac.
The two weeks that followed were full of fear, happiness, tears, and the biggest thing is HORMONES!

I will write a post about that... trust me its been an adventure.

We seen the baby again on February14th and heard the hearbeat for the first time you can read that here

 I have to say the blog will be involving a lot of BABY L!! :) 

I know this is long, but this a documentation of our journey through life and on January 24th our lives changed forever. God is just so good to us. His love for us is never ending! He gave us a child... Cannot wait to meet this baby. Only 32 weeks to go! LOL :)

Aunt LaLa

Monday, February 24, 2014

It's just been us

Going into new ground during this season. Josh and I have been a Family of Two for over 6 years now. Adding a little bundle of joy has been a dream of ours for so long, and we are so thrilled.. of course that shocks you? :)

After all this is sinking in we are entering a territory we know nothing about! 

We will be a family of three in October. That is daunting. Josh and I love each other and are passionate about our marriage.

We both have talked about what our marriage will look like after the baby. 

I'm so thankful because I have so much family and friends that care and love us, I know we won't be alone in this journey!

To those who have a healthy marriage any advice for this new mom to be or maybe a book you recommend? I'm all about learning and I do realize a book cannot teach me everything but it could help! :)

Please positive comments only, this pregnant lady is very sensitive and emotional! 

Aunt LaLa

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Seasons of Change

Mom took this pic of me last Friday! Those squiggly lines are the babies heartbeat! 

Oh it is the most wonderful sound I have ever heard! 

I'll never forget that moment of when I heard the heart beat and seen tears pouring down Josh's face. 

We have been so heartbroken at times and discouraged. All through everything Josh has been my rock. 

All through January when I thought I was losing my mind he was there helping me through it. To see one of his dreams fulfilled as he heard his babies heartbeat for the first time is a moment I'll treasure. 

There will be so much change in our lives this year. I graduate in May and then... our baby will be here in the Fall. Cousin getting married. New nephew being born. 

Such happy times ahead!! 

But I have to add this in... it is on my heart. When I announced our pregnancy on here I could not help to think of all the other women who were reading that post feeling forgotten or maybe jealous. I know I have felt that way sooo many times. More times than I would like to remember. 

So here are my words for you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry your heart is broken. I'm sorry you feel it isn't your turn. Even though I have my prayer answered, I'm not forgetting the last four years of pain. 

Letting you know I care and I'm praying for you. I do not know God's plan for you. But I know he has one. He is bigger than us. Trusting him and letting him have that burden is so refreshing. NOT EASY, but with his help you can leave it at his feet.

I'm here if you need to talk. 

Aunt LaLa

Saturday, February 15, 2014

One plus One equals three

How do I even tell you that ...


OK that was easy!! 

Yesterday was the best day of my life this far. We got to hear the heartbeat of our little baby. I can't even describe the emotions we felt as tears poured down our face listening to the sweetest sound I have ever known.

God has given us a miracle. We are pregnant without any help of drugs, fertility treatments. Do you realize how amazing that is?

God has heard our cries...our family and friends prayers!

He loves us oh how he loves us!!

Valentine's Day 2014, was the best day of our lives. I know there are many more to come.

Here are a few pictures from yesterday! Without further ado everyone meet baby Lawson!

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Who is the Happy Winner?

Sorry for my absents and delay in telling you who won the giveaway so without further ado

Barbara K you are the winner!!

Congrats to you Barbara! I'll be sending you a message shortly!! Look forward to another giveaway next week!! So if you want another chance or missed this one.

Look forward to an very important post Friday evening sometime! ITS BIG!! PROMISE!!

Here is something I want to share with you

That's right! On May 10th I will be graduating with my Bachelor of Arts! 

I'm so excited!! To God be all the Glory!  

So emotional! 

Aunt LaLa