Starting last Monday this week was a complete roller coaster. Not sure if I could ever explain to anyone how painful it has been. I've struggled with if I should write about my experience. To write about something so close to you can make you seem so vulnerable. Writing has always helped me. I've kept a journal since I was nine. I've always been very analytical with my feelings and things going on around me. Which is why I have a journal, a prayer journal, and a blog :) Crazy, I know. I usually don't have much time to write in any of them, but the blog. I wonder how many women suffer silently because of what this one even does to us emotionally, physically, and spiritually. I don't want to suffer alone. I needed to know that what I'm feeling is normal. Even though people can be very sympathetic, some seem like it is no big deal. It was a big deal. And every second with the Lords help I'm making it. Last Monday night I had a miscarriage. Even as I type ...
Whhooossshhhh!!!! That was September already flying by!! Next week I will be in 2 classes at the same time for 3 weeks. Now, I know what your thinking... "Lauren its two classes." Let me just explain here... each class is 6 weeks long, 4 hours each class. So that means every class is crammed with work of a semester. :) So for half of each of my classes I will be in two! That scares me! "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" This is will be my mantra! Plus all the projects I have going at work! EeeEEeekkk!! "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" So this weekend will be full of chores, school, and mayhem projects. What I'm looking forward to is finding my bin of fall decor! Its that time already! I can't wait... I LOVE fall... Pictures to follow :) Now if the weather would just feel like fall that would be fantastic! OK, my blog friends have a great weekend!!
One year ago today a new season in my life was manifested. One year ago this morning around 2am we lost our precious baby. Hope would be around 4 months right now had she been meant to stay on this earth. Even though my heart is broken I feel Gods presence with me today, so strong. Through many talks and prayers with my God, I made it through these last few days without being devastated. Through my obiedance I believe God gave more healing to my heart. Sunday morning was extremely difficult. But I received so much support. Physically, mentally, and spiritually. My sweet friends and family held me hand, rubbed my back, gave me hugs as I stood for the first time as a mom on the stage with the rest of the moms. I can not even begin to describe how much they helped. I know without their support and God's supernatural strength I wouldn't have made it through. As I left service I felt a little lighter, a little bit of that dark grief left. Last night was our women...
So praying. .... so happy. ....
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