Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Tuesday's Prayers

The Ramsay Grace Blog

I'm so excited to see Tuesday come. I have an amazing group of "sisters" in my life and being apart of this link up just adds to that number. Know that I'm praying for you ladies!

1. Please pray for a dear family friend. Her mother died today in a car accident. The family is obviously devastated.

2. I have stepped away from teaching Children's church and thought I will miss those youngsters I will have more time to concentrate on the lessons for our Jr High group

3. This research psychology class is a bear. PLEASE pray God gives me wisdom and I can obtain the knowledge.

4. I've had some ups and downs this dealing with this post HERE

I hope everyone has a great Tuesday!

Monday, January 28, 2013

Define

Everyone of us has a past...

The past molds us to who we are.

This could be bad or good.

We allow some things to dictate everything we do. I've seen this come in many forms.

Fear
Guilt
Shame
humbleness
Compassion
Awareness
Pride
Anger
low-self esteem
lack of self-efficacy 
poor judge of character
bad relationships
bad choices
over eating
starving
addictions
bitterness

Some of these are good some... not so much.... well the majority I've listed are from a nagetive point of view.

 I read a quote today from a devotional posted by a friend

"Your past is not your past if its effecting your present"

This made me think.

All of our past effect us in some way... But I think the person saying this was trying to make the point of you must not let your past effect your every move and define us. It molds us and we learn from our past.

But how much of our negative experiences and pain do we carry with us all the time. What kind of burden are we carrying around?

Jesus says in Matthew to cast our burden on him... It says in Romans 6 that we are newly made in Christ. We are not the labels that people gave us, we are not our bad choices, we are not our pain...

We can not let our past and pain DEFINE us...

I'm always transparent here... and do you know what? 

My WEIGHT does not DEFINE me
My INFERTILITY does not DEFINE me
My MISCARRIAGE does not DEFINE me
My ANXIETY does not DEFINE me

God makes all things new... even though each of these are apart of my life... I'm only defined as a new creation in Christ.. A daughter to the King of Kings!


So be encouraged! And share  What does NOT define you?  You can even let me know in a private message. I want to pray for you :)


Thursday, January 24, 2013

Random and loving my J


 6.J is fervantly chasing after God and growing 
7. J always wears my favorite cologne 
8. J loves my brother as his own
9. always fixes me a drink
10. Gives me sweet kisses
Well we were iced in and declared in a state of emergency on Friday. It was a beautiful site but very very cold. This research project in my psychology class has me feeling a little over whelmed. The data, research paper, everything. I also have state coming on the 5th to monitor the grant I'm working under. EEEeeekkKKkk! All the while we have an extra dog... You know we have Pixel (boxer) and abby (lhaso)... My brother is in between living placement. So, his dog Tank (pixel 's bro) is with us for the time being... He is a sweetie. I leave this picture with you of pixel and tank cuddling

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Tuesday Prayers

The Ramsay Grace Blog
 
 
It's time for Tuesday Prayer Blog Link up! I LOVE this link up! Last week I could just feel the prayers going up :) I know this is for prayer request... But I have to say I am so thankful J and I were able to get away. It was so nice. We were blessed with a inexpensive room and a free pancake breakfast! YUMMY!
 
  So over the last few weeks I have been activily tryin to grow closer to God and spend time studying and praying. And if I said I will pray I'm tryin really hard to pray right then. I started this habit last year and am continuing it.
 
February 5th state comes to look at ou progress under this grant that I am employed under. They are going to monitor. Please say a prayer for me and the gal I work with. If this grant is no renewed that means no job and no program to help these kids. Honestly I'm a bit nervous. But I have no doubt that God placed me here and will give me wisdom.
 
 
  Josh and I both have been talking about expanding our family alot this pas week. Please pray that God would lead us. It is somethin our hear desires so, we want to be parents to a child. Raise a human being, and to love them! We trust God that he HAS a plan.. we are just trying to follow it :)
 
 
If you have anything I can pray for you about please let me know here... or on facebook.

Friday, January 18, 2013

Pit and Peak

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Pit
Not getting enough sleep! Three days in a row I had to get up early... and had something to do every night! If you know me personally then you know I NEED my sleep. Now, if you don't let me tell you... I NEED my sleep. When I don't have my sleep I can't function at full capacity! My brain is fuzzy, I can be a little more irritable..., ect But thats me! :)  

Peak
It snowed!!! I mean really snowed! We of course couldn't make it home. But we were stranded at  my in-laws. So it was not that much of a hardship :) All in all a great week :)  


Hope everyone has a great weekend! Josh and I will be getting away for a night! And I'm so excited! :) 

See you all Monday!

Pictures taken J last night, isn't that beautiful!?



Thursday, January 17, 2013

Why I love my Hubby :)

Why I Love My Husband
Linking up with the Happy Wives Club! :)
1. The things I was most insecure about he loves most
2. When I'm upset he wants to fix it
3. He tries his best to be a the man God has called him to be
4. He has the best bear hugs EVER!
5. He loves/understands my family as much as I do


This is a great way to just spread the LOVE. I sometimes feel like happy-fruitful-loving marriages are a dying breed. Lets show the world that there are still people who love each other and love their spouse. That we love and value our marriage and want to see it thrive!!

I hope you are enjoying the snow! We are getting tons here in East Tennessee! We can't make it home, thankfully we are stranded in a warm and comfortable place! :) 

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Groundhog!

"Do you ever feel like you are living Groundhog day?"

This was the question Josh asked me this morning. My response was yes! :)

Josh and I were talking last night about when was the last time we had actually just went away for the weekend. Not going to visit, not holidays... but just he and I. Just to unwind..

It has been a year. I know some couples hardly go away for anything but up until last year Josh and I went on small trips just to wind down. We would go off on Saturdays with no plans but to just spend time together.

We went spent some time together in August. It was our vacation at home. It was wonderful but just wasn't the same not being able to actually go anywhere. Last year we went for a weekend in February and then spend some time with Friends in April. Then May was just heartbreaking and incredibily stressful.

There has been so many events, stress, and a thousand other things...

But this year we are going to get back in this groove. Starting this weekend. Saturday unfortunately has be started with work and putting away our Christmas (It is almost February). But Sunday here we come. We both have the day off Monday due to MLK holiday.

I was listening to an interview this morning. There as a couple talking about their marriage. We must invest time in our marriage. We must "tune" it up. No matter how long you have been married, you never stop learning. And NEVER stop trying to make it better and enjoyable. Just some food for thought.

Josh and I are a family and I want us to enjoy life and so we shall :)


Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Tuesday's Prayer

The Ramsay Grace Blog
This is my first link up with Christie and Trinity! I think this is a fabulous idea. I think Christie put it best...

"Today gives us a chance, as believers, to come together, united in prayer, leaving specific prayer requests, encouraging fellow believers, and so much more.  It's a way for us to come together, united, as we seek His will." 

First, Josh and I are wanting to do what God wants us to do. With our ministry, trying to concieve, and jobs. 
Second,  that God would guide me on this path of grief. And that I can cope better with losing Hope. 
Third , Unspoken... 

Thank you for praying for me. 

 

Monday, January 14, 2013

Would you be so kind?

I am currently in a Research Psychology course. Our project in this class is to do our own research and write a paper. We are to construct an survey and analyze the data.

Would you be interested?

It would take just a few minutes to fill out a survey and answer some questions. Your information would be strictly confidential. I alone would see who sent the information. I would only be sending in your answers.  I will send you the results of our study when we have concluded.

If you would like to be apart of this please email me at: auntlala25@gmail.com

I would REALLY be thankful!

Hope everyone is having a fantastic Monday!!

Now back to school work... then more training :)




Friday, January 11, 2013

Friday's letters with Pit and Peak

So it's Friday!!! YAY! I'm doing Friday's Letters and a new link up called Pit & Peak! I've missed blogging regulary and am excited about today's link ups... so here we go!




Linking up @ PIT & PEAK
So this weeks PIT was ....

Coming home to a mess made by our lovely boxer... She wasn't too happy about out schedule going back to normal. That was so frustrating! But alas the moment passed...

This weeks PEAK...

Wednesday night service. We haven't had our regular discipleship classes because of the holidays. I was so excited to see my favorite Jr. High kids! 

Ironically my PIT & PEAK were on the same night! HA! 



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Dear J, Thank you for being the very best husband
Dear M, Thanks for my best bud
Dear R and D, In the name of Jesus... :) 
Dear 2013, I know this year is going to hold some great things
Dear SD, I'm praying for wisdom. I know God put me here for a reason. 
Dear week, I'm glad your over
Dear research psychology, I loathe your existence when you make me look at stats...
Dear Brain, please do not check out when the professors starts to talk about numbers
Dear Joosh, (<--- how J spelled his name as a kid) I just wanted to call you that. Oh and I love you
Dear God, thank you for never leaving me. For always being by myside. 


Thats all for today!! See ya Monday!



Thursday, January 10, 2013

Beauty for Ashes

I'm not going to lie and say that I have had the best attitude or mind frame these last few weeks. Losing our baby last year hit me really hard over the Holidays. I realized there would be some difficulty but nothing like I experienced.

I was talking to my best bud, we were talking about some different things we were both working through. We were talking about my grief just hits me at random. Sometimes just a little and sometimes it knocks me down. I told her, for everyone around me our miscarriage was an event and everyone moves on with their life. But for me... its still there. My heart is still broken.

I'm not at all expecting people to know or understand where I am in this journey or am I upset because they have moved on. I have had some of the most amazing friends gather around me and pray for me. Talk to me and listen.

Honestly, I'm not sure when this will stop. Or when I'll be "OK". I know that I will never be the same. It changed me forever.

I said all this to say even though I have every right to grieve, have bad days, cry... I can't stay there.

My attitude has been one of anger and jealousy. I have friends who are pregnant and a sister who is pregnant again. And friends,  I have been angry that its not me.

The most riduculous thing I have tried to do was ignore God. I really did not feel like being before him with the ugliness in my heart. The ugliness that I was staying in. Some days I would try, key word being "I" there. I was praying but not heart felt. I was just going through the motions. I definitely wasn't trying to read the Bible. There was too much truth in there.

I stayed like this until I couldn't breathe... I truly felt I was losing myself. Because you see, God and I have always been on an open communication bases. I was shutting out the most important part of life. So I went for a walk. A non-stop fast paced 1 1/2 hour walk! (I felt it days later) I needed to work some things out. I made myself get out of bed and my pjs and I took off.

Why? Because I was hurting. And through that hurt I allowed the ugliness of bitterness and envy creep in.

But, I'm not there anymore. I'm truly trying to build myself up.

My soul needed God, Oh and to have the communication back open is amazing. I'm throwing myself in the word. Listening to sermons or worship in the car. I will not be "dead bones".

I'm working through it. God is right by side. This journey is a long and tough one... But God is making something beautiful out of it.

Isaiah 61:3
to grant to those who mourn in Zion—
    to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness instead of mourning,
    the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit;
that they may be called oaks of righteousness,
    the planting of the Lord, that he may be glorified

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

What I'm Changing or trying to

Colossians 3:12-14
" So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it."  (MSG)

My prayer for this year is that God would open the door for me to be kinder, show compassion, and serve. I pray that I can become more even-tempered  and quick to forgive. 


God is opened a door with my job to be apart of something bigger then myself. I'm excited. I'm in the planning stages of this journey. Trying to get lessons together, trying to customize each session for each kid. Praying God give me wisdom. 

Busy bee.... 
  

Exciting news... Josh and I are planning our year for trips and vacations. The beach and visiting my adorable nephew are definitely in the plans :)

Hope everyone is having a great week!!  


Wednesday, January 2, 2013

No Resolutions...

It is the 2nd of the new year. 2013 is here.

All around me I hear people saying what they are changing this year... what they plan to do... what is going to make this different.

As I have reflected on this year I realize that I do not want to make plans. I don't want to make resolutions to only break them.

So, I'm just going to live. To take one day at a time. To try my best.

Which in a way I guess is a plan of sorts.


I want to live my life this year and enjoy it. Not to be walking around with a shadow of grief and disappointment. Sometimes I feel like a broken record when I talk about Hope or being pregnant. But I knew January was going to be a difficult month. I would have had my Hope at the end of this month. I should be getting ready to welcome a new born. but I'm walking into a year with out her.

I'm obviously not my chipper self and I am not staying here in this down mood... but its something that is showing.

I will cling to the Lord for he is my hope, strength, and rock.

I'm looking forward to a better job, better marriage, and God doing new things.