Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Am I a Safe Place?


I was struggling with some doubts and fears. It started so innocently just as casual as opening a little door to my heart.

Then as the weeks progressed and I kept the fears and thoughts to my self, the bigger and harder to handle they became.

One particular day I was trying to just read my devotional and it was like a tidal wave of attack came upon my mind.

I believe that we fight an invisible war, sometimes we see the outcomes of this war and sometimes we may not know what we were just protected from or praying against.

 Scripture tells us
12 For our struggle is not against enemies of blood and flesh, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers of this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. (Ephesians 6:12)
10 The thief (satan) comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. (John 10:10)
As I was fighting this battle in my mind, I cried out to God. To give me peace and strength. By the blood of Christ I have authority over the enemy and his devices.

I felt God's strength come upon me and a peace. The battle was still raging. However I pressed on...

A couple days passed. One night after doing our devotional I looked at Josh with tears pouring down my face and telling him this battle that I was fighting. I was afraid that I would disapoint him or hurt him in some way by sharing my heart.

But, you see, God has given me an amazing man who strives to be what God wants a spouse to be.

I shared my heart openly and was met with warmth and understanding. Hugs and encouraging words. He prayed for me. 

The next day I began thinking about how better I felt and the weight was lifted. Wondering why I didn't talk to him sooner? But, there was this fear of hurting J and making him disapointed. Without cause, mind you, I felt this way. Eventually this would have caused a wedge between us. 

God just spoke to my heart. I thought about these wive or husbands who do not have that safe place with their spouse. They do not have that security of complete unconditional love and acceptance. 

I started questioning myself... Am I a safe place? 
As a wife?

As a friend?
As a daughter?

and so on... 

Imagine how relationships would improve if we were a SAFE PLACE for our spouse and loved ones? 

Those who may not have that right now in their lives there is ALWAYS a safe place in God's arms. He never leaves us. Even though we may but right in the middle of the storm not knowing what to do, feel, or think... he is there. He knows what to do! 

I hope this encourages and challenges you. Let's work on ourselves, to be better spouses, friends, mentors, family... most of more pleasing to God with our character. 

Aunt LaLa

Monday, April 7, 2014

First-Time Mom: Pregnancy, what they didn't tell me

I have a little miracle inside of me, a little precious baby that will have a perfect mix of J and I.... I cannot wait to hug our child and to kiss its sweet little face! My heart was bursting at seeing our child's profile and seeing their mouth opening and closing. Oh my heart!!

In saying that, this post may be TMI, just warning you. It may be embarrassing but...

I was "warned" you could say. Women told me there would be exhaustion, nauseousness, hormones...

And I listened. But I guess I cannot blame them for not being able to put into words the extreme side of these things.

Hormones- They said you are emotional, you sometimes want to just punch your hubby, then there are sometimes that all you want to do is be hugged and held. I have never felt so crazy...ever. I remember being told that it is like PMS but worse. Worse? It is so crazy that I would not even compare it with PMS! WOWZER!

It felt like I was on a roller coaster! A fast, twisty, upside down coaster... There have been moments where I'm bursting at the seams with happiness and I'm SO preoccupied with thinking about Baby L. Which actually I feel often. Then... I'm crying. I'm not talking about a little tear here and there, we are talking FULL FLEDGED UGLY CRY!  This has happened very often!

Then there is pregnancy rage! An anger and irritation that you cannot control. This one is the most bothersome to me. Seriously, I'm not an angry person... but lately I'm realizing how annoying people can be! LOL Then I cry because I feel so bad... Sounds so fun right?

Exhaustion- I have not felt like walking from the couch to the bathroom! No kidding, at times getting gas for the car seems like the most insane tiring task of my life. Falling asleep and taking naps all the time. My house... a disaster zone. Then add school, I have never wanted to NOT write a paper or presentation so bad than these last couple months. My poor cohort have heard my complaints... My famous saying "I just don't care" This coming from an overachiever!

Nausea-  Think about a stomach bug that was so bad you thought it would  never end.. times that about 1000.... then you have what I was feeling. It woke me up in the middle of the night. Now I'm thankful, SOO thankful I never got sick. Yes, Nausea was BAD! Waking up thinking that my stomach will never feel the same is not fun. I really feel for the women who suffer from morning sickness, which by the way can come at ANYTIME not just the morning.

Ready for the TMI??

Gas, no one, I mean NO ONE told me how horrible my gas would be. We store oxygen in our muscles, and when you are pregnant your muscles start to relax therefore releasing horrible gas. I have been so embarrassed! HAHA! It hurts too, it gets stuck and oh that is not fun!

Constipation- This one is bad. I've heard worse stories so I'm thankful I haven't suffered much. But your running out of room in your stomach so you feel full and bloated... but you can't seem to DOODOO anything about it. Oh yes the fun times!

I know your thinking WOW that sounds horrible! Why would I want to be pregnant... even though there is truth in all this nothing compares to the joy of being pregnant. I promise.

All of the sudden you start seeing your body change. Breast get bigger, your belly starts changing... Oh my goodness. I am AMAZED at how our bodies naturally just change and know what to do to include and grow a life in your body. There is a HUMAN BEING in you, a soul growing inside you. 

Then you feel your baby. You feel something inside of you moving. A flutter, butterflies, it is just indescribable!

To see your baby move its arms and turn over on a ultrasound at just 12.6 weeks! Or opening and closing its mouth. Even though I'm having a little fun and wanting others to feel they are not alone in this pregnancy discomforts, I'm completely in-love and thankful for my child. I would take all these things over and over.

When you suffer from infertility then you get pregnant, there is this pressure not to be honest about the feeling down, overwhelmed, tired, or saying  "Pregnancy is HARD"

Guess what? This doesn't mean I'm less thankful or I love my baby less because I say "Pregnancy is HARD" but I also say "Pregnancy is a beautiful and MIRACULOUS event"

So any pregnancy stories you want to share? Or what were/are your experiences?

Comment below or on facebook :)

Aunt LaLa

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

13 Weeks and going STRONG!

So... even though I'm not extremely showing I want to document every bit of this experience! I LOVE being pregnant! (PS. Don't get excited I only used blue font on the picture because it shows up really well... we STILL don't know the sex yet.)

Do you not just LOVE that little arm! It waved and waved at us at the ultrasound! We even got to see Baby open and closing it's mouth. I've never been so amazed. What a beautiful life that is growing in me. God is so amazing! And faithful, and I'm so so so thankful! 
I'm in my second trimester. Baby L is doing really well. Measuring on target. Actually it is measuring 3 days ahead. 

The first trimester was a roller coaster.. and to be honest this weeks has not been any different. More about that in the next post.

J and I are so excited and can hardly talk about anything else. Our little miracle is growing and growing! 

I'm loving my bump! I love looking pregnant! Even though my body seriously is a transformer, I do love it! 

We find out if we are having a boy or girl on May 15TH!! Can't wait! 

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

We got winners!!

Jenni and Samone! 

These lucky ladies won a Happy Wives Club Book!

Thanks for entering everyone!

Working on a post with all the update of Baby L! We are 12 weeks and going to the Dr. Thursday! New pictures!! 

I'm showing my baby bump too! Heehee! So excited!

Have to brag on my husband just a minute. He has been so incredibly supportive through this whole process. He has dealt with his own insecurities and fears just like I have, yet he has been my rock. He has been understanding. Husbands, you being there just listening or offering a hug or a kiss on the forehead goes such a long way. Even better, take initiative. When you see stuff piling up around the house chip in and help. I love you J!! 

Have a great Wednesday!

Aunt LaLa

Saturday, March 22, 2014

5QF - on Saturday... oops

I used to do Five Question Friday every week! Loved it! Then I got busy.. then the host took a little break from it... but this week it is back! I loved the questions... so...

1. If I had 5 minutes alone with Mother Nature I would tell her?
PICK A SEASON ALREADY!! Here in E. Tennessee there has been a confusion. It has been hard core winter than awesome spring... back to we are expecting snow... AGAIN. I'm tired of the cold! And I've always loved Winter! But enough. I'm ready for Spring! 

2. If you could eat only one thing for a whole week what would it be?
Wow, one week? That's all. Hmmm. Well it would have to be filling. Because when I'm hungry it is not a pretty sight! I would say a cheese and carb mix. Maybe a casserole of some kind. That would do me. I hope.

3. What is your favorite season and why?
Spring... everything comes alive. I feel so happy during the Spring! I love it. It is not too hot or too cold... Its just perfect. Even thought I have allergies, it is my favorite time. I love the colors of Spring. Easter is one of my favorite holidays. 

4. Do you have a meal that you are AMAZING at making? If so, share the recipe!
Well, J loves when I make hot wings, or when I on a whim season meat with what ever strikes me as good. It always turns out yummy! I have my own concoction of things. I do love and J loves my Grandma Pruitt's chicken dish. Check out the recipe HERE 
  5. What has changed in your life since the last 5QF (08/13)? 

Well the biggest change is.. we are expecting! Due 10/6. After trying for four years, our miracle is here! You can read about Baby L at the link listed below
And I'm am only one class away from graduating! I cannot believe it!  

2014 so far has been a whirlwind! Look for a post Monday announcing the winners from the Happy Wife giveaway. Also I will be showing some baby bump pics and new ultrasound pictures! Oh and probably TMI things about pregnancy EVERYONE failed to mention.... 


Aunt LaLa

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Who is a Happy Wife?

Hi everyone! 

It is not a shock or new news that I'm a huge fan and contributor over at Happy Wives Club. 

So I am giving you another chance to win Fawn's book! This book is amazing! I love the insight. And it is so encouraging. 

It is so important to our happiness and a society as a whole to work on our marraiges! 

Here are some links of Fawn going world wide to promote her book! 

Here is an interview with Fawn and Keith (her husband)

Here is a interview Fawn did with Good Day Atlanta (my hometown)

Now time for the giveaway! I'm giving away to books this time so come on win a book! 

Love, Aunt LaLa

Monday, March 3, 2014

Week 9 - How we found out

 Baby L at 8 weeks. Was not expecting another ultrasound. Was so excited to hear that heart beat again! 176 BPM! Strong baby!

We are 9 weeks today and Baby L graduated to a Fetus today! Baby L is a size of a grape.

Before your pregnant you hear all kinds of stories and advice. 

I'm only about 4 weeks away from the second trimester and honestly I cannot wait! 

The dangers go drastically down in the second trimester and that is really what I get mainly worried and upset about. 

I have not really felt like sharing, I guess not knowing where to even start. In early January I was feeling awful. I was so emotional. I knew something was wrong with me. Honestly I was so worried. My anxiety was crazy, I was overwhelmed. All I could do was sleep. I did not know what was going on. I noticed some changes in my body. I actually made an appointment to talk with someone, that is how worried I was. 
Well in December I was late, and purchases a cheap pregnancy test. Took it and it was negative. So I just put the other one under the sink. I started a few days later. So it is January 24th, and I realize I still have not started. I was late again. It was the morning and Josh had left for work. I was getting ready for work. It was a Friday. I went and took the test. 

Almost immediately I see a positive line. I'm just stood up and said "No, no I'm seeing things." So I left it there for the 5 minutes. 

Came back. Still positive. I changed lighting, went to different rooms. Still I could see the line. 

I went to the store and bought 5 test all together. I took ALL 5. ALL said I was pregnant. I was so excited! Josh was so thrilled. We both didn't know what to do, we just could not think straight! 

I called my mom and she told me to call the Dr. Then go from there. 

The Dr. confirmed I was pregnant, and I still could not believe it! I still cry when I think all the emotions I felt that day. Went and seen Josh. We cried. We laughed. Mostly we hugged and smiled. 

I had all these symptoms and still never made the connection.  Just never thought it could happen naturally. I had finally been at peace with it and was concentrating on our plans and school

January 31st we seen our baby for the first time. However, I was so early all we could see was a gestational sac.
The two weeks that followed were full of fear, happiness, tears, and the biggest thing is HORMONES!

I will write a post about that... trust me its been an adventure.

We seen the baby again on February14th and heard the hearbeat for the first time you can read that here

 I have to say the blog will be involving a lot of BABY L!! :) 

I know this is long, but this a documentation of our journey through life and on January 24th our lives changed forever. God is just so good to us. His love for us is never ending! He gave us a child... Cannot wait to meet this baby. Only 32 weeks to go! LOL :)

Aunt LaLa