I was struggling with some doubts and fears. It started so innocently just as casual as opening a little door to my heart.
Then as the weeks progressed and I kept the fears and thoughts to my self, the bigger and harder to handle they became.
One particular day I was trying to just read my devotional and it was like a tidal wave of attack came upon my mind.
I believe that we fight an invisible war, sometimes we see the outcomes of this war and sometimes we may not know what we were just protected from or praying against.
Scripture tells us
12 For our struggle is not against enemies of blood and flesh, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers of this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. (Ephesians 6:12)
10 The thief (satan) comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. (John 10:10)
As I was fighting this battle in my mind, I cried out to God. To give me peace and strength. By the blood of Christ I have authority over the enemy and his devices.
I felt God's strength come upon me and a peace. The battle was still raging. However I pressed on...
A couple days passed. One night after doing our devotional I looked at Josh with tears pouring down my face and telling him this battle that I was fighting. I was afraid that I would disapoint him or hurt him in some way by sharing my heart.
But, you see, God has given me an amazing man who strives to be what God wants a spouse to be.
I shared my heart openly and was met with warmth and understanding. Hugs and encouraging words. He prayed for me.
The next day I began thinking about how better I felt and the weight was lifted. Wondering why I didn't talk to him sooner? But, there was this fear of hurting J and making him disapointed. Without cause, mind you, I felt this way. Eventually this would have caused a wedge between us.
God just spoke to my heart. I thought about these wive or husbands who do not have that safe place with their spouse. They do not have that security of complete unconditional love and acceptance.
I started questioning myself... Am I a safe place?
As a wife?
As a friend?
As a daughter?
and so on...
Imagine how relationships would improve if we were a SAFE PLACE for our spouse and loved ones?
Those who may not have that right now in their lives there is ALWAYS a safe place in God's arms. He never leaves us. Even though we may but right in the middle of the storm not knowing what to do, feel, or think... he is there. He knows what to do!
I hope this encourages and challenges you. Let's work on ourselves, to be better spouses, friends, mentors, family... most of more pleasing to God with our character.