Posts

Are we going to make it?

Image
I have been missing for sometime... but this summer has been INSANE.

In my post "Why am I like this?" I mentioned that we had a crisis at the beginning of the Summer.

Now, that we have moved past it and it is not so fresh I will share.

J suddenly lost his job.

As you may know I stay at home with Ethan, I love it!

I get to really have the opportunity to invest in Ethan and be the one to teach him and instill his love for Jesus.

So it was frightening to think I would lose this.

J was applying and applying. He has so much experience and great work record. But nothing seemed to work out.

Apprehensive does not exactly cover the emotions we were feeling.

But, we serve a mighty God. And we claim to have faith.

So our faith was put into action in a big way.

As our heavenly father always does, he turned something we thought was the beginning of  the end into a Summer of fun and some learning too.

I learned something over this last almost two years. To really trust God. Like…

Thanks alot Police officer...

I seriously cannot believe this happened to me.

So, there comes a time in everyone's life that you realize you are getting older...

I mean you know your age, you see your body changing...er... sagging.

Your derriere... the girls... even your eyelids change...

As my almost three year old says "what in da werald!?"

(Excuse me why I sob because my baby will be three soon)

I am only 31. And Friday for the first time felt slapped in face with "you are ooolllddd"

I need to start at the beginning.

J and I were leaving our apartment, and I noticed that there was a big pile of stuff.

I commented on that is weird, did some one lose a bag? As we were talking about the who, what, and where J spots a social security card.

So I jump out get closer and see several items that belong in a wallet.

I go over to the pile of random and see a wallet, screw driver, half a biscuit, driver license with a name that doesn't match the social security card...

So I gathered what I thoug…

Why am I like this?

So, I hope you seen my live on Aunt LaLa's Facebook page. If you are have not been over there please do :) Like and Follow...

The video went into where I have been... and why the hiatus from blogging.

Last year was a rough one.

J lost an uncle and 2 aunt's.

We had a friendship severed.

Just two weeks ago we were hit financially. In a very big way.

My heart was broken when we lost Little Bit.

J put it so accurately when he said that we were blindsided... We were in a mindset of this pregnancy would be tough like Ethan's but it would be okay. Losing the baby never entered our minds.

We did not share the due date. On purpose.

I really didn't think I could handle everyone knowing.

Losing Hope was so different. Talking about it helped me. It helped me heal.

It connected me to women, forged friendship...

Losing Little Bit has been completely different.

I felt more vulnerable, it has felt deeper somehow

The most difficult part of this journey was that my faith was shaken.

Me!…

It Takes Three

I hope somehow these post about marriage have helped you or maybe remind you of what you may need to revisit in your own marriage.
It has reminded me of some of the most important things that are needed for a happy and healthy marriage.
I have had four post and this makes my fifth.
The four post covered...
Quality Time Communication Loving Yourself Compromise
This last post will wrap up the Keys to a Happy and Healthy Marriage... for now 
I really feel like marriage is not promoted in our culture.
Instead we have a "Try it on" mentality. Live with the person first. Then if you don't like them... well it is easy just break up.
But being in a marriage...having that commitment is sacred. It is a life commitment. Until death do you part.
Sometimes...marriages do not work out.
Someone said something to me who did not get that happy ending all us girls dream about.
"God hates divorce. Hates it. Do you know why? Because of all the destruction. It is havoc on relationships. It…

I want it MY way

Hi everyone!
So this is our fourth installment of Keys to a Happy and Healthy Marriage...
I hope you are enjoying these.
Today's topic - compromise.
In my personal opinion the reason we do not compromise is because of pride.
Pride can be our downfall in so many ways. In all of our relationships.
Scripture talks about pride alot.
Recently I taught our youth group and we talked about respect.  Sometimes when we are disrespectful it is because we are holding on to our pride.
James 4:6 says "But he gives us more grace. That is why scripture says: "God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble"
Jesus was the ambassador for grace.
God warns us about pride throughout the bible.
It is a dangerous characteristic.
I've touched on it briefly and today I'm going to focus on how pride can snuff out your marriage.
When you are joining two people together it is difficult. You both have your own quirks, pet peeves, habits, hobbies...
The list goes on.
You MUST compro…

Little Bit

Image
Just a little update on how we are doing...

I've noticed in this journey of miscarriage and infertility people are generally afraid to ask questions or bring it up.

Afraid it will be awkward or make us sad.

Let me say first, it is okay to ask. We want to talk about Little Bit. The baby was apart of us no matter how short the time.

We loved our sweet Little Bit. We would rather feel sadness and talk about the baby, then feel like people have forgotten.

That to me has been tough.

I know no one is going to grieve the way we do... its tough thinking no one remembers.

J is right here with me. Grieving too. People often forget that the dad grieves too.

J and I have been on a long journey toward growing our family. Having E gave us this false sense of hope that we would not loose a baby because we were successful getting and staying pregnant with E.

We were unfortunately blind sided by the still small image on the screen.

In saying all this we are having more better days. Less crying. …

Warning: Rant ahead

My post on here, my personal Facebook, my Instagram account almost never hold a rant. 
There is this stigma that really gets under my skin. 
I lost my baby at six weeks and one day. And I am grieving. It is hard.
No that does not make my love any less for E. 
No his everyday smiles does not some how magically erase my broken heart. (It sure helps me smile though)
No I am not reveling in the past but mourning a child... that I already had dreamed of. Made plans for. Decided on a name if it was a girl. 
No I am not being dramatic. 
If you know me at all the desire to be a mother has been strong in my heart since childhood. 
So to loose something you so desperately want is heartbreaking. 
It does not take away from my faith, or mean I don't trust in God. 
It does mean I am questioning and asking why? 
It does mean that I get angry. And feel I have been dealt an unfair hand. 
It does mean that when I walk into Kroger and see a new born baby sometimes I try with all my might not sob a…