Aunt LaLa

I hope somehow these post about marriage have helped you or maybe remind you of what you may need to revisit in your own marriage. It has reminded me of some of the most important things that are needed for a happy and healthy marriage. I have had four post and this makes my fifth. The four post covered... Quality Time Communication Loving Yourself Compromise This last post will wrap up the Keys to a Happy and Healthy Marriage... for now  I really feel like marriage is not promoted in our culture. Instead we have a "Try it on" mentality. Live with the person first. Then if you don't like them... well it is easy just break up. But being in a marriage...having that commitment is sacred. It is a life commitment. Until death do you part. Sometimes...marriages do not work out. Someone said something to me who did not get that happy ending all us girls dream about. "God hates divorce. Hates it. Do you know why? Because of ...

Hi everyone! So this is our fourth installment of Keys to a Happy and Healthy Marriage... I hope you are enjoying these. Today's topic - compromise. In my personal opinion the reason we do not compromise is because of pride. Pride can be our downfall in so many ways. In all of our relationships. Scripture talks about pride alot. Recently I taught our youth group and we talked about respect.  Sometimes when we are disrespectful it is because we are holding on to our pride. James 4:6 says "But he gives us more grace. That is why scripture says: "God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble" Jesus was the ambassador for grace. God warns us about pride throughout the bible. It is a dangerous characteristic. I've touched on it briefly and today I'm going to focus on how pride can snuff out your marriage. When you are joining two people together it is difficult. You both have your own quirks, pet peeves, h...

This post is straight from heart and is painful to share... this is not only for my married readers but for my single readers as well.  I remember when I was 14 and starting writing in a journal to my future husband. I guess I've always been a romantic and my love for Disney probably didn't help. To me the person I was going to marry was one of the most important people I would ever meet. Marriage to me was/is something sacred, important, it would effect my life forever. It was also something God had created. To join a man and a women together to form a team to work for him. To be companions for each other. What God had and has planned for me has been important to me...A priority. I knew what I wanted. I made a list. I petitioned God for about 9 years for my husband. I prayed for him. My list: Had to have a one on one relationship with God. Had to be a lifestyle. Treated his family with respect and love Filled with the Holy Spirit and beli...

What did you just say?? I remember the look my mom gave me countless times when she would ask me that question... It gave me a few seconds to rethink what I could say from here...I could repeat what I had said which would of resulted in a punishment...Or I could say something totally different... Usually I chose the latter...I changed what I said or gave a pouty "nothing" My mom would say, "that's what I thought" I can still hear her tone. LOL Our words have power, as a child the negative repercussions we not pleasant but they were not life altering. As an adult our words hold more weight. We have bigger more complicated relationships. We are in leadership. We have our own children. I talked about in my last post that I wanted to just put some keys to a happy marriage and a healthy marriage. I talked about Quality vs Quantity  .... The important of investing in your spouse Today I want to talk about our words. Josh and I established a set of...

After being married almost ten years I feel like I have some insight to this whole married thing. And let's face it we are always learning. There some key points that I think are an absolute necessity to a healthy happy marriage. I'm going to talk about those key things. Not in any particular order of importance just some info I'm going to pass along... I'm an advocate for healthy and happy marriages.  I believe they are possible and attainable. I am an analytical thinker. To me there is a formula to have a successful marriage. Before I go into these key points or formula... Be warned... Being in a marriage is work. It's a commitment that is not to be taken lightly. You are a team.  It's going to take you 100%  to do this.  This post is talking about a key point: Quality VS Quantity I'm sure the majority of people have heard that taking date nights are important. Don't lose the romance Always date your spou...

Before I even had E I was asked if we wanted another child. I remember looking at these people like they had two heads! I had not even gone through my first birth... my second baby was not on my list. E's birth was traumatic and made me feel all sorts of fear and anxiousness at the thought of having a second baby. Even though I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I meant it when I said "We will adopt, I am not going through that again", here I am. I brought the subject up to J around September. E was about to turn one and I was really feeling baby fever. The year had passed so fast. However we were just really starting to feel comfortable in our new roles as parents and dealing with how that changed our dynamic as a family of 2 to 3. At first J was extremely apprehensive. For several reasons. Good reasons. This was kind difficult to deal with. Usually J and I when it comes to big decisions are on the same page. In this instance.... we were not. So we talke...

Before I get into my muse what do you think of the new look??   My mind is more confused now as to why people sometimes have children to "fix" or enhance their relationship. If you know J and I personally or have been around Aunt LaLa for a while you know how much we love one another and how hard we work at having a healthy marriage. Marriage is one of the greatest and scariest commitments you can make. Josh and I celebrated our eight year anniversary today. Eight years! And in year three we decided we were ready to start trying to get pregnant. We had no idea what a journey we would be taking in trying to grow our family. In year seven it happened! We had a baby! What a miracle, our baby boy. I thought I was prepared for everything... as much as I could be. But what I was not prepared for was how having our miracle took a toll on my marriage. Wow.  I was felt so disconnected to J. It literally broke my heart.  First we went through a...

SOURCE I was struggling with some doubts and fears. It started so innocently just as casual as opening a little door to my heart. Then as the weeks progressed and I kept the fears and thoughts to my self, the bigger and harder to handle they became. One particular day I was trying to just read my devotional and it was like a tidal wave of attack came upon my mind. I believe that we fight an invisible war, sometimes we see the outcomes of this war and sometimes we may not know what we were just protected from or praying against.  Scripture tells us 12  For our struggle is not against enemies of blood and flesh, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers of this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. (Ephesians 6:12) 10 The thief (satan) comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. (John 10:10) As I was fighting th...

Going into new ground during this season. Josh and I have been a Family of Two for over 6 years now. Adding a little bundle of joy has been a dream of ours for so long, and we are so thrilled.. of course that shocks you? :) After all this is sinking in we are entering a territory we know nothing about!  We will be a family of three in October. That is daunting. Josh and I love each other and are passionate about our marriage. We both have talked about what our marriage will look like after the baby.  I'm so thankful because I have so much family and friends that care and love us, I know we won't be alone in this journey! To those who have a healthy marriage any advice for this new mom to be or maybe a book you recommend? I'm all about learning and I do realize a book cannot teach me everything but it could help! :) Please positive comments only, this pregnant lady is very sensitive and emotional!  Love,  Aunt LaLa

I cannot tell you the amount of times that someone has said to us either individually or together to just wait. Just wait... the honeymoon phase will end Just wait... one day you won't be able to stand eachother Just wait... all the kissing and hand holding won't be there Just wait... this does not last Just you wait... you will see I really want to write a snippy come back to the comments of late. It is really hard not to be angry at someone saying these ugly things about my marriage. My heart hurts just writing those things. I realize marriage does not come with out challenges. But geeze... how miserable are you to say these things? Or maybe your view of marriage is skewed.... I think that to make your marriage be something more than a miserable thing your stuck in, you need to make a CHOICE to make it better or how about never letting it get to the point where you can not stand each other? Listen, J is not perfect and neither am I. One thing I can tell you we...

So we are 7 days into 2014 and I've been doing some contemplating on this year. We started the year off freezing to the point of numbness... Seriously it took more than an hour to get feeling back in my derrière ! HA! But it was so much fun! Starting the year with great friends! Getting to see the ball drop in Pigeon Forge at the Island! Seeing the band and the light show! It was a great time!  This year has started off great really! Some very powerful prayers have been said over me, and I claiming them by faith.  I am part of a great move of Happy Wives ! (Seriously check out THIS book) I have started this year with my family all relatively healthy!  I get to see my best bud next week!  We have had a great snow/ice storm here! Loving it!  There are some big events happening this year! I'm so excited! ~ I graduate in May! It really is surreal! I am down to 3 classes! ~ My little cousin is getting m...

This post is part of the Happy Wives Club Blog Tour which I am delighted to be a part of along with hundreds of inspiring bloggers. To learn more and join us, click here!  This blog tour had me thinking of what I wanted to say about marriage... I look around me and I see some unhappy marriages and I see some HAPPY WIVES :) (happy marriages) When I see the unhappy ones I wonder if they have forgotten why they got married in the first place?  I think even a happy and healthy marriage you have those bad days where there is miscommunications, hurt feeling, and unmet expectations.  I love my hubs, I'm a HAPPY WIFE! But guess what? My Josh and I are human and boy do we fail.  On those days where it seems we are just "off" or maybe it is a transitional period or what ever life throws at you maybe it would be a good idea to remind your self why you married the man/woman you married.  First, why marry? Why did you want to get married? We have to...

As of December 1st it has been 2,190 days of being married to my best friend. On December 1, 2007 I was blessed to become a Mrs. to one of the best people I know. 6 years we have been on this journey. I love how one of my friends described Josh and I's relationship We have had "quite the love affair" Which is so true. We  have a passion for one another and a longing to be near one another. I miss him when I'm not with him. I told him last night when we are apart I feel half of me is missing. We have faced some hard times. We have been jobless...We have lost....We have been betrayed... Everything we have been through we have gotten stronger. We are far from perfect. We are selfish at times, forget to pray together, we lack in encouraging one another... However we are passionate about being better. And truly being an example of what God wants marriage to look like. Here are a few reasons why I love my Josh... He always kisses me bye, even if it is just...

I started following Jennifer at Unveiled Wife early this year. I love her desire and passion to help marriages. When I got married I was fortunate enough to have some what of a realistic view of marriage. I knew it would be work, but honestly I never imagined the struggles, arguments, crisis we would face in our marriage.  I truly believe that the enemy tries to isolate us and make us feel we struggle alone. He has tried so in my grief.  Any one who knows J and I know that we have a special love, we are each others help mates. When God created each of us, when we were in our mother's wombs, we were meant for each other.  I do not think that our society promotes happy marriages, it does not promote the marriage that God wants us to have.  I love journaling and devotions... obviously.  Jennifer wrote a devotional called "Wife After God".  I wrote Jennifer and told her I would love to do a book review for her devotional. I was so exci...

Happy Wives Club This made such sense to when I seen it on Happy Wives Club Facebook post! I remember being so self consious of my looks, personality, well everything when I met Josh. I've been told many things about myself Too loud Can't whisper Need to lose wieght No Compassion Too hard Too emotional To straighlaced Boobs are too small Calves look like a mans Flat feet "You are the STURDY one" Goody Goody Uncool Dork Ugly Fat Your not the baby Your just like your mom (Which was said as an insult.. but my mom is awesome so Hah!)  These words and comments follow you throughout life don't they? Every time you go to do something one of these "hauntings" come back. Going into a new relationship all your insecurities show their ugly heads. When I met Josh I had a couple of toads and toads friends in my life. It left my self-esteem in a disarray and smashed. I had gained some confidence but not where it should have been. The...

When we got married I knew that marriage was not all fun and happy times. You go through life together... The ups the downs and the in-between There have been some really highs and some really lows. But we have CHOSE to be together and fight for what we have. I prayed for my husband from the age of 13. I didn't want to settle for second best. I wanted my prince charming. A conversation I had with my best buddy is sticking with me. We get caught up in life. And we take for granted that we have that special person. We get used to the care they give us. Double check with yourself. Are you appreciative of what your spouses did for you? When is the last time you thanked your spouse for going to work for your.family? Or Do you nag? Try to change them? Snap at them? Don't take for granted that your spouse chooses to stay every day... there are other choices. You know them. So let's be a thankful for that choice... Food for thought...no I...

Do you know what I think would be AMAZING!!?? If every couple had to go through pre-marital counseling. I am not talking about a few 30 minute sessions either. I mean a weekend or workshops devoted to learning how to have a healthy marriage. J and I were so fortunate to go on one of those weekends, and honestly if we hadn't I wonder how healthy we would have been or be now... We hit some major crisis almost immediately after getting married... I would like to think that we would still make it to the place we are right now, but I don't know. We learned some valuable skills that have changed the course of relationships around us, and have definitely altered the way we approach things now. We need to make our marriage a priority. Do not get so comfortable that you think everything is OK. Stay on guard look for ways to improve. We are continuing through out life being art work of God, that changes all the time. Do you not think that includes changes (or needed changes...

I'm joining Fawn over at Happy Wives Club talking about our marriages. Fawn and her husband surprised their loved ones by renewing their vows. Reading their sweet story made me thing of my Josh. He is such a good man. I remember our vows, and I meant them with all my heart. But I think if I said those vows right now, they would mean even more. Josh takes such good care of me. I would marry him over and over again. I love you Joshua!!

God has been doing some amazing things in my life over the last month. I'm wanting to share all of it with you!! But even though it is Wednesday I wanted to link up with Marriage Monday over at Happy Wives Club.   I love this weeks article. It goes along with some things God has been shining a light on in my heart.  I am reboosting my marraige by remembering it is not all about me.  J and I DO try our best to serve one another but there are times when I fail desperately at remembering to serve him.  I put on him expections of things I may want but sometimes I forget to say, "What do you need from me?" Before I can fix my marraige, I need to look at my spiritual life and how prideful or selfsish am I being.  How many times do I pray for others earnestly as I do my own heartache? Am I calling out names of the unsaved??  Something to think about... And I think this song says it all!   Staying Hopeful, Aunt LaLa ...

I remember when J and I first got married.... that first year held plenty of practice to deal with conflict. Your first year of marriage is one of bliss, change, compromise, and making up ; ) Those who read my blog daily know that I am a student still. I'm working on a degree... Honestly, I feel that my marriage is an atmosphere for learning just like my college class rooms. I have been taught more things about my self, life, love, death, and so on than in any other area of my life through our marriage. God has used our marriage as a teaching tool for sure! No matter how much you love each other.... Sorry to tell you there WILL be conflict. If there isn't then I would look at how honest you both are with each other. Because joining two different people in all of life's crazy happenings is not one of ease. So, just some pointers that I've learned in my marriage to handle conflict... (I by no means have perfected these!) 1. Let your pride GO!...