Friday, January 24, 2014

Just Wait

I cannot tell you the amount of times that someone has said to us either individually or together to just wait.

Just wait... the honeymoon phase will end
Just wait... one day you won't be able to stand eachother
Just wait... all the kissing and hand holding won't be there
Just wait... this does not last
Just you wait... you will see

I really want to write a snippy come back to the comments of late. It is really hard not to be angry at someone saying these ugly things about my marriage.

My heart hurts just writing those things. I realize marriage does not come with out challenges. But geeze... how miserable are you to say these things? Or maybe your view of marriage is skewed....

I think that to make your marriage be something more than a miserable thing your stuck in, you need to make a CHOICE to make it better or how about never letting it get to the point where you can not stand each other?

Listen, J is not perfect and neither am I. One thing I can tell you we have almost been married for a decade. We are going on our 7th year. We are mindful of our marriage. God put us together, there is a purpose to marriage. It is to glorify God. It is to show just a little of how much God loves us.

Think about a marraige that is so broken you can not stand one another. Think about how many selfish steps you and your spouse took to get to that place.

Pride.
Sarcasm.
Insults.
Being non-supportive.
Neglect. 
Revenge.

Are all death sentences to a marriage.

I understand that there are difficulties, but being married for a little bit I think I have some insight into this marriage thing. These are just basic things listed here, but take an evaluation.

1. Where are you with God? Is he apart of it? We are human full of error to correct that we need the help of God. I realize my need for him, without Christ I nothing. He needs to be first. Only he can heal your marriage. And heal your broken places.

2. Look in the mirror: Take responsibility for your actions.What have your contributed to your problems in your marriage? Do you hold resentment and try to "get back" at your spouse? To make them hurt. Do you contribute by the problems I listed above?

3. Are you open? How is your communication with your spouse? Do you expect them to read your mind? Do/Can you communicate your feelings without the listed things above?

This is in no way a comprehensive list. But just a basic checklist.

So here is my rebutle for all those negative comments about my marraige

Just wait... J and I will always be on our honeymoon. Because frankly he is my beloved and I am his
Just wait... We will continue to love being with each other. We love to laugh and hang out. He is my best friend
Just wait... We will be kissing and holding hands until death and then in Heaven :)
Just wait... Our marriage is forever
Just YOU wait... You will see

As always if I can pray for your marriage or maybe you having a comment about this... please feel free to email me (auntlala25 at gmail) or comment below :)

Love
Aunt LaLa


5 comments:

  1. A nurse ask me today how did we stay friends being married so long. I told her it takes both of us to work at it everyday . She said she was divorced and she regretted it now, but her words, "it is what it is".
    I felt sorry for her because of the sadness in her face. I wondered where the communication stopped, where did the couple fail to keep trying and just give up. Sometimes I think a couple goes for the divorce because it seems the easiest way out. A good marriage is a lot of work, compassion, forgiving, listening and so on. No it is not always easy, but it is always worth it.

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  2. Great and wise words, friend! Yes, just wait. I think especially after this past year, I feel Like a teenager in the beginning stages of falling in love with my husband. We've just learned and found so many new things to love and admire and a new spark of "desire" to be together. Love is about the experiences you share and how you grow closer through the shared memories. That's actually how my pastor describes it. Seriously, I love PDA so much lately and don't care who we gross out. He he! Of course, finding time to spend together with little ones is challenging, but that's just part of the adventure and witnessing a little PDA between their parents is good for them. There's a lesson for your future! ;-)

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  3. You are so cute :O) I just found you through Pinterest. I can't wait to read your blog. You are right & on the right track. The "Man" & I have been married for 21 years now. We were married at 20 after dating for less than 2 months...Yes you read that right...2 months. No I wasn't pregnant. We are best friends, each other's support system, & we are still crazy attracted to each other (just like newly weds). We make each other laugh & we still hold hands. The negative comments will keep coming...My favorite one lately is, "Ya'll have been married too long to be acting like that & going out on dates." Can you believe such nonsense? Yes, sometimes you want to be mad or selfish, but how can we be mad at the one God made just for us. I believe if people will look at their spouse that way a lot more marriages would not only "make" it, but they would do it happier & with a much more grateful heart.

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  4. Loved this. I think along the same lines as you and have been blessed with a wonderful marriage. I truly enjoyed reading this tonight. Thanks!

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