Aunt LaLa

Before I get into my muse what do you think of the new look??   My mind is more confused now as to why people sometimes have children to "fix" or enhance their relationship. If you know J and I personally or have been around Aunt LaLa for a while you know how much we love one another and how hard we work at having a healthy marriage. Marriage is one of the greatest and scariest commitments you can make. Josh and I celebrated our eight year anniversary today. Eight years! And in year three we decided we were ready to start trying to get pregnant. We had no idea what a journey we would be taking in trying to grow our family. In year seven it happened! We had a baby! What a miracle, our baby boy. I thought I was prepared for everything... as much as I could be. But what I was not prepared for was how having our miracle took a toll on my marriage. Wow.  I was felt so disconnected to J. It literally broke my heart.  First we went through a...

Sometimes I want to fix. I want the people I love to do the right thing. I want them to love like I do. I want to protect them from themselves. I want them to have the love for God I do. I want.... I want....  I exhaust myself in "I want" I've been reading this book by Joyce Meyer. "The Battle Belongs to the Lord" I am only chapter two and God is really showing things to me. For one, I can not change people, circumstance, situations, events.... I am NOT God. And I exhaust my self trying to figure out "What can I DO?" I am a person of action. I want results. I hate sitting and waiting. I'll be honest in saying I am  not the most patient person. When J and I face a challenge my mind immiediatley starts to try and figure out what can I do. When I see my family suffering or making wrong choices I want to guide them and give advice. When I am having a bad day, feeling sad, disapointed... whatever... I immideiatley think "How can I ge...

"Do you ever feel like you are living Groundhog day?" This was the question Josh asked me this morning. My response was yes! :) Josh and I were talking last night about when was the last time we had actually just went away for the weekend. Not going to visit, not holidays... but just he and I. Just to unwind.. It has been a year. I know some couples hardly go away for anything but up until last year Josh and I went on small trips just to wind down. We would go off on Saturdays with no plans but to just spend time together. We went spent some time together in August. It was our vacation at home. It was wonderful but just wasn't the same not being able to actually go anywhere. Last year we went for a weekend in February and then spend some time with Friends in April. Then May was just heartbreaking and incredibily stressful. There has been so many events, stress, and a thousand other things... But this year we are going to get back in this groove. Starting this ...