Showing posts from August, 2012

Its Labor day weekend??

I don't know about everyone else... But I'm SHOCKED that labor day is already here!


I would like to say that I have 2 new followers!! You know who are and thank you!!

I hope you realize that every comment and new follower I get gives me the biggest smile!! I truly have fell in love with BLOGGING! I want to celebrate my blog-versary. Here is my dilemma...

I've had this blog since last year. But I didn't start posted faithfully until November. However I have literally 1 post in April, 1 post in September, and 1 post in October... November I had 14 or 15.

So I was thinking that I would celebrate in November, when I became a true blogger, Yes? Let me know... I'm thinking my first  GIVE AWAY!!  I'm starting to figure out how all that works exactly.

That makes me excited.

So yesterday I received some great feed back on my post. Thank you guys for that. Truthfully it was on my heart. If nothing else on this blog you know that I'm transparent... good, …

How I Found True Love Part 5

So we have made it to part 5. I've really have loved remembering all the details of us falling in love. As I write I remember more and more. Also I had to go back and edit part 4. I realized I had forgotten about a cute part of our first conversation. The edit is at the end.
So get ready here we go...
Part 5- The first date
Lauren looked at the clock. She was getting so nervous. In about 15 minutes she would be getting off and heading to Knoxville. The next morning she would Josh.  Josh and Lauren were talking all the time and texting. It seemed an eternity ago that he had asked her out on their first official date.
Once getting off work she headed to Knoxville. She wanted to buy the right outfit for this occasion. Lauren met her grandmother at a retail store once in Knoxville. Lauren could not wait. She just had a great feeling.
After finding the cutest outfit (Which I still own lol) she headed over to her grandparents house. Josh and Lauren talked for a long time that night on …

Being Gracious

I've been hurt, I've been ignored, mistreated, abused, laughed at, made fun of, unappreciated... By people in this world.

When these things happen to us and we feel "wronged" our first reaction is usually

get angry
get even
hold a grudge
be mean/hateful back

I've been guilty of this. Lately I have been feeling "FED UP". That point where you are just out of things to say, do, or be.

Somethings I've learned and God has reminded me:

1. Sometimes no matter what you do people are NOT going to change. They are used to their dysfunction and will probably stay there unless God changes them.

2. I need to remember that when I get fed up because people are hurting me that God never gives up on me. And that I need to forgive them.

3. I have to ask myself, how many times a day do I hurt God or ignore him? He never get "fed up" with me.

4. That forgiving someone means to continue to treat them with kindess. And to continue to let my hurt be healed.

5. T…

Our Baby

Today I've decided I would reveal our babies name. For a couple of reasons.

First- We will be trying again to conceive and feel its time to share. Not that we could ever replace or want to replace our precious baby.

Second- We want to celebrate her and acknowledge what she has meant to us. I want to write something about her from now on and use her name.

To answer a question I know that will be asked. No we were not far enough along to know if our baby was a he or a she. However Josh and I followed our hearts. We just felt it was a girl.

We named her...

Naming Hope was a beautiful but painful moment for Josh and I. We were talking about how we were going to cope and heal through this. A dear friend shared her experience and that she named her baby. We felt this was something that would help us.

As we both kind of asked each other... we both said "Hope" almost at the same time.

We both felt through this that she gave us hope. Hope let us know that we can conceive. Honestl…

Weekend Recap with What I'm Lovin' Monday!

(Go over and check out Sherry's site. Such a cute family!)

I'm Lovin that I have this link up to do. Focusing on the positive is so helpful

I'm Lovin that on Saturday I had family over and we grilled out.
(Photo dump)

It was a relaxing weekend. And I made it through without breaking down. Actually God gave me so much peace. I felt the prayers being lifted up on my behalf. I don't know if I mentioned this but there I will be attending a woman's retreat at the end of September. Hosted by our church. 52 women will be there. I know God is going to do amazing things. We are only 32 days away :)  I can't post too much because there are so many surprises! But don't worry you will get the pics and juicy details post retreat :)
Oh and I have a great Pixel story but I'll share tomorrow. 
Part 5 of our love story coming up Wednesday. If you need to catch up the links are under the "Mr. and Mrs." Tab. 
Have a great Monday! Happy Blogging!!

My heart with Fridays Letters

I had to write tonight.  My heart has been breaking over these past two day. I miss our baby more then ever. Today was a rough day.

*Stepping up on soapbox* I'm reminded daily of mothers who are blessed with these children and they don't care. They aren't concerned with their welfare first, no, they think of themselves. This enrages me. Because I'm without my child and they could care less about theirs. Your children are being intrusted to you to raise right and to love. NOT neglect, push aside, and consider a nuisance. I wish with all my heart that I could have my precious one.I don't. *Stepping down off soapbox*

On our way home we got a flat tire. This is a normal stress of life. And surprisingly dealing with my grief in the big picture a flat tire isn't really that big of deal.

Sorry I'm rambling. Anyhow I received an email from A Heart To Hold . This organization is doing something priceless. If you haven't lost a child this may seem odd to you. How…

Tomorrows another day

There is a song by Jo Dee Messina "Bring on the rain"....

Yesterday my heart ached for our baby so desperately. I first started my morning with a professor who is about as far as I would be right now with our precious one. Then something was mentioned about Sunday being a baby dedication for our dear friends.

I was fine until Praise and Worship last night. I think because when I worship its with my heart and soul. Of course it opens yourself up emotionally and thats when the dam broke.

I was just hit with a wall of pain. So painful I could hardly breathe. At one point I was crying so hard I fought the temptation just to RUN! I just kept pouring my heart out to Jesus and at times just listening.

Grief is a funny thing. You think your ok and your healing... then BAM..

My heart is broke. I miss our baby so much that at times I can't think. I am healing. And I am making it.But last night was one of those nights I just wish I had my baby.

I want to cuddle her.
Kiss her face.

How I found true love (Part 4)

OK Part 4 people!! Not sure how many part I'm going to be able to make. I mean are you willing to read more of this? Let me know... Don't want ya bored :)

Part 4
As Lauren looked at her phone, her stomach doing flips, she checked the voice mail. It was him. The first time she heard his voice. You could tell he was trying hard to not to put pressure on her. 
"Just call when you get a chance. No rush."
Lauren heard someone behind her. It was her mom. 
"Was that him?" 
"Well go call him back"
Instant panic filled Lauren. The what if's were swimming in her mind!
"I dont think I can"
"Lauren, its just a phone call"
Lauren remembered the last time she talked to a guy from the "web" and he was a bit strange. Ok he was ALOT strange. Plus once you have been hurt its hard to be vulnerable again.... Dating was scary! Especially blind dating.
Lauren said a prayer for strength. And went outside of her grandpar…

What it's really about

Commitment. Forgiveness. Unconditional love. Communication. Patients. Happiness. Smiles. Contentment. Understanding. Humbleness. Selflessness. 
These are some words that come to mind when I think about marriage or to be more specific my marriage. When I was a little girl I dreamed of being loved like Bell, Cinderella, Jasmine, Aerial, Aurora, Snow White. As I grew older there were more frogs then princes thats for sure. I didn't realize the magnitude of the task to weed through the warty things. 
When I hit my twenties I doubted that there would be someone to love me like I desired to be loved. Eventually I gave my obsession to God and concentrated on him instead. Then I met Josh. Those who are following our love story (you can catch up here at the bottom of the page) know that it wasn't conventional and it was by surprise. A whirl wind romance. 
Our love affair has been a passionate, challenging, hard, and rewarding. I can't imagine  my life with anyone else. 
Here is my …


So remember those days when you were 16, 17 or 18 and you went to all these concerts and just jumped around. Stayed out too late and had tons of laughs?

Well I got to revisit that this weekend and it was amazing! I had so much fun!

At our church (HCF) we invited a Christian rock band OnTheBrightSide ... These guys were amazing! Their songs were so moving and heartfelt but of course very "rockish" is that a word?? Yes it is! :)

It was an amazing time of worship! The testimony by DK was very moving. And was a great reminder that NOTHING is too big for our God! What was so great about these guys that on stage or off they were true witnesses for Christ. As a friend and I worked their sales table I watched how they interacted with their fans (which were ranged in various ages) with respect and much gratitude. Nothing vain or pompous about their attitude. As they made sure each time they signed a CD or t-shirt that person felt the "Love" :)

I can not count how many times…

Fridays Letters

Dear Baby, Its been 3months now. My heart is healing. But I never stop thinking about you. Love you so much.  Dear J, another vacation? Say next week? Yes?  Dear O, E, J - Oh how Lala loves you. I'm praying for you my dears. God is with you.  Dear Birthday, I realize your not until October... But every time I think about you I get a little nervous. (I will be 27!!) Dear Geography, You are over!! And I passed you with a B! YES! Dear Psych of adjustment, be kind.  Dear J, I love you. And I'm loving our morning devotions.  Dear God, thanks you for never failing me. 

So yes blog friends that paper I was complaining about well... I made an A!! And that comprehensive final... an A!! YAY! So I was pretty darn thankful that God was with me that night! Because honestly didn't see that coming!

Hope everyone has a fantastic weekend!! :)
Happy Blogging!

How I Found True Love (3)

Hi Lauren — JLaw81 sent you a smile!JLaw81 Age: 26
Knoxville, TN, USA
Ideal Match:87% "Christ_myeverything" AIM is z3r0c00l81 [AT] aol [DOT] COM , Hi, my name is Josh, I'm not to good at this but I'll try, lol. I am a pretty down to earth guy, I'm real...

Look what I found! See where he was reaching out to me :) LOL Oh we were tricky! I just had to share this ... OK now back to the story ...

Lauren opened the email. Her heart pounding with all kinds of emotion. The email was short but ended sweet...

Ok, hope to talk to you later, you seem like a nice person.

-Dkun Josh Lauren wrote him back quickly...

You seem like a nice person as well. I seen that your signature says Dkun Josh, is Dkun your first name? Well I hope you had a great weekend!

Hope to hear back from you, In Christ, Lauren
From there Lauren and Josh were emailing back and forth as soon as the other one got their email. Excitement was feeling Lauren.

J: Lauren, Nah, my first name is Josh, but i am a Ordaine…


Healing comes in time.

I've heard this from day one of miscarrying. As my heart was breaking I thought, "How can time take away the over whelming feeling of sadness and hopelessness?" I was apart of some support groups on facebook and some of these women are suffering so horrible many years later. As the weeks past and I was seeking the Lord for answers, peace, and hope I noticed myself healing VERY little at a time.

I wondered why these ladies were so distraught. I noticed many of them angry at God. Or maybe were not religious at all. As I was trying to seek the Lord everyday and not be tempted to drown in depression I had to with drawl from these groups.  Not because I was passing judgement, their grief was their own. But for my sanity I withdrew.

I reached out to these women. And said I was praying for them. But this particular group was more of women just rehashing the ordeal or being mad at others for not understanding. There wasn't any healing. My heart broke f…

Day one on vacation

After sleeping in on on Monday we got ready for our day downtown. After some research I found that they were having a free concert at the historical Tennessee theater. After getting to the theater I was totally enamored by this beautiful place. It still looked the same as it had for the last 100+ years. It was beautiful. I has Josh take several pics of me at different spots. There are some pics from the theater below.After the concert which was amazing. Old mountain music and a performance on a pipe organ - wurlitzer. We went to the East Tennessee Museum. Which was amazing. So much history.After that we went to the famous Pizza Palace. There was an episode on Diners, Drive in, and dives with Guy Fiero on Food Network. It was yummy!!! They are david for their pizza, and onion rings! Get ready for a photo dump :)

I'm back!

Yes I'm back! Our vacation was extremely wonderful!!

I will post pics and where we went over this week! I hope you guys are enjoying reading our love story :) I will write another post for this week on that!

Something strange on our vacation though is it took a couple days for us to both relax and feel on vacation. Has that happened to you? We have been so round up tight this year that it took a couple days to 'chill'.

Once we let loose, it was a blast :) I miss J terribly today though. Having him to myself for 8 days spoiled me!

I hope you guys have had a great week!  And be looking for my first post about our vacation tomorrow!

Happy Blogging!

How I found true LOVE Part 2

Lauren looked over the email from her grandmother (looked something like this):

Why not try some of these website. They say they are Christian. Get out there and try something new. Maybe thats what God wants.

Well, Lauren thought why not? After looking at several websites she decided to try out - they had a personality test. They catagorized you in colors by your personality. Lauren being a psychology major this one struck her interest.

After taking this test for free they would would pair Lauren up with the colors that would suit her personality. Everyday email after email of just the guys Lauren could maybe have a realtionship with. They were a couple she came in contact with.  One who was creepy. One who was a health buff. So far this color system was not working. Lauren became discouraged.

Every day the emails would come, she would delete them. One day in July 2007 she received a message saying someone sent her a message. Lauren ca…

Guest Post: From Single to Forever

Hello my blogger friends! While you read this I will be on vacation. I've asked my dear blogger friend to do a guest post! I'm so excited to! She has really been an encouragement to me through this season of my life! Even though we have never met in person I do consider her a friend! So make sure you show her some love!

Here she is Valerie @ From Single to Forever 

How I found true LOVE...Part 1

(Don't worry I'm not breaking any pact I've scheduled this post! heehee)

Hi it's me (Lauren)! :) Josh and I have a love story that was a whirlwind romance. And I want to share it with you.... I will be writing this in third person. Its easier that way and hopefully unfolds better as a story ...

Lauren was tired of the way she longed to be married. The last two years her life had changed incredibly. She by her own sheer will cut some unhealthy people from her life that she cared for. She by her own sheer will and with the help of the Lord got her GED, took her ACT, and was in college. Lauren's focus was all about what God had planned for her life. Jeremiah 29:11 was her favorite verse, the Lord had formed a plan just for. But as the loneliness creeped in day after day, Lauren wondered if marriage was apart of that plan.

More than she could count told her she was young and had plenty of time. But Lauren's heart could only feel that ache for the man that she loved…

August 4th 2007

Five years ago today I went on my first date with Josh. It was such a sweet day. I have so many fond memories of that day! I love you sweet heart!

And I'm so glad that I got into your smelly, smokey car! :) (heehee)


Friday's Letters

Dear Friday, you are my last work day for 9 days!  Dear Abby, I just love your cuteness! Thanks for the cuddles this morning :) Dear J, Thanks for your cuddles too *thumbs up* Dear vacation, you are here!!!!  Dear paper, haha you didn't defeat me! 9 pages baby!  Dear Final, I'm finding you a bit intimidating! eeEEeekkkK! Dear August, you are the beginning of my favorite time of year!!  Dear September, you are filled with so many exciting things!  Dear J, I love you & am so excited about us being able to spend 7 days just me and you! 
Dear God, you are just so worthy of all my praise! I will praise you in the good and bad, because ultimately you have a plan. <3

That's it guys! My last post before vacation. I do have about 3 post scheduled for next week which I'm so psyched about!! 
Remember me in your prayers, there is so much information on this final! Thanks!! :) 
Until next time.... Happy Blogging!

1 more day!

One more day and I'm on vacation!! YAY! I really wish that this class wasn't right in the middle of our vacay... oh well!

Good news people!! I'm already on page 3 of my 5 page research paper! ** BIG SMILE **

Looking forward to next week! I will not be blogging all week. J and I have several pacts that we have made about this vacations:

2. No PS3 (unless we are playing a game together)
3. No tech support (So sorry peoples but my hubby is ALL mine next week)
4. No phones, ipods (We are saying bye to electronics)
5. Reading the bible together everyday
6. oxox's everyday (heehee)
7. Only showering together (another heehee) (TMI?? Sorry... )
8. the hardest one... NOT blogging!! eeEEeekk! I'll have so much to say by the time we get back! LOL

Thats all we have right now. I'm so darn excited!

I'm trying to set up some post for the week and I'm excited to have my first guest blog too!! Make sure you watch for it! Thi…


I'm feeling the pressure right now. I have a paper due Tuesday and our comprehensive final the same night. Professor Sheldon grades HARD. I thought I would at least get a B on my mid-term... oh no

He handed back my mid-term it looked like some one bled to death on there. It was full of RED ink! At that very moment I hated all red ink pens!!

Yes, I'm feeling the pressure. Leaning on God for strength and help to obtain all the crazy material. My goal is to finish this paper by Friday night. Then study for the COMPREHENSIVE final for Tuesday.

Kind of bummed that all this is right in the middle of starting our vacation. BOO to that...

I'm such a whiner today. Sorry.

I'm thankful that I'm able to continue my education. Thankful that we recieved an unexpected check in the mail. I'm thankful that WE at least can enjoy a vacation together. I'm thankful that we have an amazing life no matter the ups and the downs. I'm thankful, excited, scared  that I'm on m…