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One year ago today my life changed

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One year ago today a new season in my life was manifested. One year ago this morning around 2am we lost our precious baby. Hope would be around 4 months right now had she been meant to stay on this earth. Even though my heart is broken I feel Gods presence with me today, so strong. Through many talks and prayers with my God, I made it through these last few days without being devastated. Through my obiedance I believe God gave more healing to my heart. Sunday morning was extremely difficult. But I received so much support. Physically, mentally, and spiritually. My sweet friends and family held me hand, rubbed my back, gave me hugs as I stood for the first time as a mom on the stage with the rest of the moms. I can not even begin to describe how much they helped. I know without their support and God's supernatural strength I wouldn't have made it through. As I left service I felt a little lighter, a little bit of that dark grief left. Last night was our women&
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My lips are sealed

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So I have some exciting news but I can't share until its official... things are still in the works... :) Hopefully I can announce tomorrow!! But since I'm not sure who reads my blog I can't announce it yet.. So moving on before I give in!! Thank you so much for the encouraging words everyone sent after yesterdays post. In fact I kind of feel embarrassed. LOL It was such a pity party. But as you have read and seen I don't really put on a pretense about what is going on in my life on this blog. Right now I'm feeling so excited about my birthday weekend! Its jammed packed the next four days! Tomorrow - Driving to my school location which is about an hour and a half away. My mom is taking the drive with me. So that will be some fun mom/daughter time! Maybe I can find my old Backstreet Boys CD?? Mom loved them just as much as I did.... well maybe not AS much. She didn't have a wall full of posters heehee Saturday- a special event at our church. I'm
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Never dreamed...

Starting last Monday this week was a complete roller coaster. Not sure if I could ever explain to anyone how painful it has been. I've struggled with if I should write about my experience. To write about something so close to you can make you seem so vulnerable. Writing has always helped me. I've kept a journal since I was nine. I've always been very analytical with my feelings and things going on around me. Which is why I have a journal, a prayer journal, and a blog :) Crazy, I know. I usually don't have much time to write in any of them, but the blog. I wonder how many women suffer silently because of what this one even does to us emotionally, physically, and spiritually. I don't want to suffer alone. I needed to know that what I'm feeling is normal. Even though people can be very sympathetic, some seem like it is no big deal. It was a big deal. And every second with the Lords help I'm making it. Last Monday night I had a miscarriage. Even as I type
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