What did you say?

What did you just say??

I remember the look my mom gave me countless times when she would ask me that question...

It gave me a few seconds to rethink what I could say from here...I could repeat what I had said which would of resulted in a punishment...Or I could say something totally different...

Usually I chose the latter...I changed what I said or gave a pouty "nothing"

My mom would say, "that's what I thought" I can still hear her tone. LOL

Our words have power, as a child the negative repercussions we not pleasant but they were not life altering.

As an adult our words hold more weight. We have bigger more complicated relationships. We are in leadership. We have our own children.

I talked about in my last post that I wanted to just put some keys to a happy marriage and a healthy marriage.

I talked about Quality vs Quantity .... The important of investing in your spouse

Today I want to talk about our words.

Josh and I established a set of rules for our marriage with the help of our premarital counselors.

I'm so thankful we did.

We wrote out how we would handle our conflict.

One major aspects of that involved controlling our tongue.

We do not insult, take digs at each other, we don't use sarcasm, we do not call names, we do not yell

Now, in the course of our marriage all of the rules have been broken by one of us.

But it is NOT a practice. When we get heated and tempers are flaring we take a time out. To calm down.

Marriage is a team. A team needs to be united. How can we fight together/for each other...when we are wounding each other?

Words can not be taken back.  They cause wounds in our heart. And without talking it out and apologies being said... That wound becomes infected. Then bitterness is there.

I know couples who have 30+ years of marriage... And they can't stand one another. They are disconnected. They are bitter.

IT DOES NOT HAVE TO BE THAT WAY!!

Marriage is a gift. You get a best friend, a companion, a team mate, someone to share the load.

Why would you disrespect them? Talk about them? Hurt them?

If you are a new couple or newly married... Please take heed to what I'm saying. Don't fight dirty.

Treasure your spouse. If you have no clue as to where to start,  ask for help.

Surround your self with couples who have a healthy and Godly marriage

Start apologizing

Swallow your pride

Talk it out

Communication

As always if you need me I'm only an email, text, call away

All my love,
Aunt Lala