Warning: Rant ahead
My post on here, my personal Facebook, my Instagram account almost never hold a rant.
There is this stigma that really gets under my skin.
I lost my baby at six weeks and one day. And I am grieving. It is hard.
No that does not make my love any less for E.
No his everyday smiles does not some how magically erase my broken heart. (It sure helps me smile though)
No I am not reveling in the past but mourning a child... that I already had dreamed of. Made plans for. Decided on a name if it was a girl.
No I am not being dramatic.
If you know me at all the desire to be a mother has been strong in my heart since childhood.
So to loose something you so desperately want is heartbreaking.
It does not take away from my faith, or mean I don't trust in God.
It does mean I am questioning and asking why?
It does mean that I get angry. And feel I have been dealt an unfair hand.
It does mean that when I walk into Kroger and see a new born baby sometimes I try with all my might not sob as I shop for my family.
There are times when I take out my ultrasound and just weep.
And ALL of this is okay. Grief is a journey.
I have a therapist. And I value my time going to spend talking to her.
I embrace personal growth
No, that does not mean I am crazy.
It means that I need a non-judgmental and unbiased person to listen and help me work through what ever I am going through.
There is nothing wrong with that.
Dealing with my emotions and experiences has made me a better wife, mother, and a better person in general.
Why do you think we have so many unhealthy relationships, bad parenting, generational abuse, generational addiction, and so on...
Because as a whole our society is not mentally healthy... or even have to the tools to cope with life.
We still live in a world that has the stigma of mental health and counseling.
We are considered dramatic? Crazy? Weak? Faithless?
I am just so frustrated by this mindset.
It hurts my heart to see people take their lives instead of reaching out.
Last week alone I heard of three..THREE... young people that succeeded in taking their own lives and one who attempted and is now in ICU.
When you bury your emotions and feelings... they will come out somehow. And not in a positive way.
I am not saying that you have to get professional help. Just talk to someone. Get it out. Have a good cry.
Sometimes in life we faced with a crises, we are faced with big decisions...embracing personal growth is a great thing.
To anyone who has scoffed, rolled your eyes, passed judgment on some one who has had a miscarriage or is grieving and wants to talk about it ...
To anyone who passes judgment on someone who getting help for their mental well being...
I say to you...evaluate your heart.
When I started this post I was writing in anger and now my heart is sad at the small mindedness that our society has when it comes to this.
I guess my rant is over... Smile
I hope everyone is having a great week!
Look out for another post on Monday on Keys to a Happy and Healthy Marriage
All My Love,