Close to My Heart
This week is Infertility Awareness Week. If you have been hanging around Aunt LaLa for a while you know infertility is a big part of my life. Our story has been a long one, but does not compare to some of the heart ache that couples have suffered. And are still suffering.
Struggling with infertility was the hardest things I've been through. I've lost a sweet angel. Now I'm gaining a miracle. Even though I'm finally expecting, it is still so fresh in my mind of the pain and heart ache we went through.
We have been trying to get pregnant for four years. Never in my dreams did I think I would travel down this road or know how hard it would be. I've cried buckets and buckets through this journey!
As a woman you struggle through so many emotions. You feel inadequate, that something is wrong with you, worthless, useless, guilt, and most of all your heart is broken. These are feelings that come and go. Sometimes are more over whelming than other times.
Things that really bothered me hearing (even though they were spoken in love)
"Your time will come" - "Your young you have plenty of time" - "Don't worry about it, it will happen" - "Just need to get healthier"
In reference to losing Hope
"God needed another flower in his garden" - "There must have been something wrong" - "Are you sure it was a miscarriage?"
There are several others. The point in sharing this is that so we are mindful of what we say to those going through these things. Sometimes you just want a hug. Or a how are you? I wanted to be affirmed that I was going through something tough. "I love you" "Here if you need me"
The best advice I can give is to just listen. This is a hard subject that people do not what to say or deal with. Sometimes people just want to be heard. Be available. Guess what we are not expecting you to fix it. So if some thing makes you cry while talking to me, cry with me. If you feel your heart hurting say, "My heart hurts for you"
I appreciate the support and love that J and I have received from family and friends. We could not have made it through this struggle with out that.
Most of all I'm thankful to God for his strength and mercy. Most of all his joy.
My prayers are with those who are still struggling and walking this journey of infertility. My heart hurts for you. If you need me I'm here.
xoxo,
Aunt LaLa
You are so right! Most people do not know what to say and either say something unknowingly hurtful or just don't say anything at all leading many to feel that no one cares. Thank you for being a caring voice to those suffering from both infant loss and infertility. I can now more fully appreciate the "pain" of infertility after this past year. I was so blessed to have not had trouble conceiving before now. Then, something went wrong, and I was finally diagnosed with hypothyroidism after several months of waiting and questioning what was going on. My few months struggle is nothing compared to four years, but I know the pain of wondering when it is your turn for a miracle. I don't know if I ever said anything to you on here that did not feel comforting, but I hope not. I always just tried to express my love and hope for your future and trusting in God to provide the miracle in whatever form He saw best. And now, we all get to witness that miracle! :-)
ReplyDeletepretty nice blog, following :)
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for not being afraid to talk about this and raise awareness. My husband and I found out about our infertility about 6 months ago after 7years together, hoping for afamily. it's been a very hard, emotionally raw journey coming to terms with God's plan for us and what that means for our lives. some people who are fortunate enough not to go through this trial dont understand just how hard it is, but your posts give me away to breach that gap when it comes up.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for not being afraid to talk about this and raise awareness. My husband and I found out about our infertility about 6 months ago after 7years together, hoping for afamily. it's been a very hard, emotionally raw journey coming to terms with God's plan for us and what that means for our lives. some people who are fortunate enough not to go through this trial dont understand just how hard it is, but your posts give me away to breach that gap when it comes up.
ReplyDeleteSo glad you are open and honest about infertility awareness. Talking about it is keeping others that are going through the same is helping heal the broken hearts. Good blog Lauren!
ReplyDelete