Emotions.

Emotions...

Webster defines them as:

1. a obsolete : disturbance

b : excitement

2

a : the affective aspect of consciousness : feeling

b : a state of feeling

c : a conscious mental reaction (as anger or fear) subjectively experienced as strong feeling usually directed toward a specific object and typically accompanied by physiological and behavioral changes in the body

The thing about emotions is that they are not always rational. In fact sometimes we do not even know why we are feeling the emotion we are feeling? Can I get an AMEN from the women!? HA!

You ladies know what I'm talking about.

Even when we are not suffering Eve's curse we still are emotional creatures.

Living by our emotions and letting them dictate they way we behave or think.... Could have some serious consequences.

Sometimes our emotions are fleeting, actually they are mostly always fleeting.  We might be so angry but something will happen - in my case Josh will make a corny joke and I'll smile. The anger slips away.

Yesterday was a battle. I started out my day in the word and doing some studying. I've been fighting against overwhelming emotions for about a week now. After the balloon release for Hope I thought maybe it would bring more healing... or bring closure. Or maybe I believed I wouldn't be sad anymore.

The truth is.. That honestly I feel more raw. Probably because I showed the pain of the depths of my soul. I was vulnerable. I could go all "psychology student" on you but I won't. Because honestly I know I'm fighting not only a mental battle but a spiritual one as well. The balloon release did heal... just not how I thought it would...

If I allowed my anger, hurt, disappointment, pain dictate my life I would be a sad sight.

Do I get upset/hurt/broken hearted at seeing pregnancy announcements, birth announcements, babies... YOU BET. My heart aches something fierce.

However, I know that through this pain I am growing. I know that the enemy does not want to see me be joyful. He is out to steal, Kill, and destroy...

John 10:10

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

You see Jesus was saying here that he came so that I may have a life full...not emptiness and sadness.

I can not let my emotions rule me... I must hold on to the truth that God has given me.

Jeremiah 29:11-14

11For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14I will be found by you,” declares theLord, “and will bring you back from captivity.^b I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.”

2 Peter 1:5-9

For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. For whoever lacks these qualities is so nearsighted that he is blind, having forgotten that he was cleansed from his former sins.

This isn't a easy task to have self control, to be steadfast... I lost my baby. My heart breaks. But my God is bigger then I in ALL things. I will.... No, I MUST hold on to his word and his promises.

When I get to Heaven and see my little Hope it will the most glorious thing... this is not the end.

So be encouraged my friends... hold fast to the Lord. He is the only truth, way, and peace.

Until Tomorrow...