Am I truly thankful?

This is a question I have asked  myself today. Some may know, some may not that Josh and I have been trying to get pregnant. Just trying naturally haven't went into the medicines and all that. I was diagnosed with PCOS when I was 15... its a very frustrating condition. It makes me late or nothing at all, which always gives me hope that maybe, just maybe we are finally pregnant. My heart has been crushed each time. This past summer, I really thought I was pregnant but after almost 3 mo. I started. It crushed me. God was teaching me something though. To trust in him. Even though I might feel week he is my strength. I accepted the fact that I may not be able to get pregnant  for whatever reason. Adoption might be the avenue we take, then maybe we won't have kids at all. That thought almost chokes me. However, I'm happy, I'm not depressed. I'll admit it is a struggle daily, but the 'Joy of the Lord is my strength'. I mean that. It's not something I'm spouting out, its from my heart. Last Friday I was having one of those really hard moments and God used someone to tell me to keep praying and trusting. They felt like God wanted them to tell me that at the exact moment I was about to go to the bathroom for a crying session =)  This person had no idea what I was feeling, actually I was at work. But God loves ME that much to do that for me, to make my heart feel better. It did. He is just amazing... 

So getting to my point about being THANKFUL... Yes, there are things in my life that I still want. But I'm truly thankful for my life as it is right now.

I have a great husband, wonderful (crazy) family, and the greatest friends. I'm part of a church that is so much more then just a building. God is doing amazing things in my life. I can't let my happiness depend on just this one thing. Is that desire still there? Of course, I would love to be a mom, but if I am or not I CHOOSE to be happy and joyful in the Lord.

Until next time... CHOOSE to be happy and make the best of what life gives you because if you look outside that ONE thing you will how life is full of blessings all the time

Comments

Post a Comment

I love to hear from my blogger friends! I will always try my best to reply to each one! Thanks for stopping by!

Popular posts from this blog

One year ago today my life changed

Image
One year ago today a new season in my life was manifested. One year ago this morning around 2am we lost our precious baby. Hope would be around 4 months right now had she been meant to stay on this earth. Even though my heart is broken I feel Gods presence with me today, so strong. Through many talks and prayers with my God, I made it through these last few days without being devastated. Through my obiedance I believe God gave more healing to my heart. Sunday morning was extremely difficult. But I received so much support. Physically, mentally, and spiritually. My sweet friends and family held me hand, rubbed my back, gave me hugs as I stood for the first time as a mom on the stage with the rest of the moms. I can not even begin to describe how much they helped. I know without their support and God's supernatural strength I wouldn't have made it through. As I left service I felt a little lighter, a little bit of that dark grief left. Last night was our women...
Read more

Never dreamed...

Starting last Monday this week was a complete roller coaster. Not sure if I could ever explain to anyone how painful it has been. I've struggled with if I should write about my experience. To write about something so close to you can make you seem so vulnerable. Writing has always helped me. I've kept a journal since I was nine. I've always been very analytical with my feelings and things going on around me. Which is why I have a journal, a prayer journal, and a blog :) Crazy, I know. I usually don't have much time to write in any of them, but the blog. I wonder how many women suffer silently because of what this one even does to us emotionally, physically, and spiritually. I don't want to suffer alone. I needed to know that what I'm feeling is normal. Even though people can be very sympathetic, some seem like it is no big deal. It was a big deal. And every second with the Lords help I'm making it. Last Monday night I had a miscarriage. Even as I type ...
Read more

I am the mom not you

Image
Through out my life there have been many times where unsolicited advice has been overwhelming, frustrat ing ,and hurtful. There has been three times that it was all the three above. 1. When I got married 2. When I had a miscarriage 3. When I had Ethan A few months ago I asked mothers to send me things that pertained to mothering their children. Some responses were heartbreaking and made me m ad to be honest . Some were your typical insensitive things that people say. I started writing this post to give examples, but I could not continue because honestly I was getting too angry. Some of the moms I have talked to have really suffered in silence by what some others have called "help" or just saying their opinions because they "care". My heart hurts so bad for these women.  I am a pretty bold person. I have had my moments where I have had to kindly put some one in their place. I also have had to be firm. Mothers need to feel empowered! These...
Read more