Am I truly thankful?

This is a question I have asked  myself today. Some may know, some may not that Josh and I have been trying to get pregnant. Just trying naturally haven't went into the medicines and all that. I was diagnosed with PCOS when I was 15... its a very frustrating condition. It makes me late or nothing at all, which always gives me hope that maybe, just maybe we are finally pregnant. My heart has been crushed each time. This past summer, I really thought I was pregnant but after almost 3 mo. I started. It crushed me. God was teaching me something though. To trust in him. Even though I might feel week he is my strength. I accepted the fact that I may not be able to get pregnant  for whatever reason. Adoption might be the avenue we take, then maybe we won't have kids at all. That thought almost chokes me. However, I'm happy, I'm not depressed. I'll admit it is a struggle daily, but the 'Joy of the Lord is my strength'. I mean that. It's not something I'm spouting out, its from my heart. Last Friday I was having one of those really hard moments and God used someone to tell me to keep praying and trusting. They felt like God wanted them to tell me that at the exact moment I was about to go to the bathroom for a crying session =)  This person had no idea what I was feeling, actually I was at work. But God loves ME that much to do that for me, to make my heart feel better. It did. He is just amazing... 

So getting to my point about being THANKFUL... Yes, there are things in my life that I still want. But I'm truly thankful for my life as it is right now.

I have a great husband, wonderful (crazy) family, and the greatest friends. I'm part of a church that is so much more then just a building. God is doing amazing things in my life. I can't let my happiness depend on just this one thing. Is that desire still there? Of course, I would love to be a mom, but if I am or not I CHOOSE to be happy and joyful in the Lord.

Until next time... CHOOSE to be happy and make the best of what life gives you because if you look outside that ONE thing you will how life is full of blessings all the time


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