Distraction to focused

It's so hard to concentrate on work or school while I'm fighting these spiritual battle.

I went to a grief and loss session and so much came out of me I didn't even realize was there.

A big hugs boulder in my life that I chained myself to that was literally sucking the life out of me. Its been a crazy time.

I am working through it. So bare with me, as I am feeling a tad overwhelmed with it all.

I've made yet another resolution to my attempt at processing my grief.

I'm only taking one day at a time.

Don't tell me to be strong, because right now its ok if I'm not. I've posted several times about being an expert at "Pushdownism". And if I continue with that state of mind I'm going to be even more unhealthy then I was before losing Hope.

I'm working on not comparing. Comparing how much better of a mom I would be then so and so.

My heart cries out "God! I've been faithful to you! Why must I suffer this way?"

Then I'm reminded of so many that have lost so much more then I. Like Job, he lost everything but his own life.

I don't have answers and I don't understand.

But I must continue on trusting God, or trying to.

So please pray for me during this time. I know that God has great things planned for Josh and I.. he promises me that in Jeremiah 29:11-14.

So aside from this solemn post here is a funny picture I found of Josh right after we were married :)



  1. Praying God will fill the void! Bless Lauren and Josh dear Father and fill their lives with joy unspeakable and full of glory in Jesus Name!!
    Love you

  2. It is definitely okay to not be strong all the time. We are human, and God knows our weaknesses. He doesn't promise we'll never go through hard times, but He does promise that He'll be there for us. I continue to pray that you'll feel His presence surrounding you and working through you as God brings you through this journey. Yes, I pray that He feels you with the joy that can only come from Him (not just earthly satisfaction and happiness). Love and prayers!


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