Fawn over at Happy Wives Club wrote an great post about one of my favorite subjects.
This one word I think could change all relationships and situations for yourself as well as others.
But today's focus is on marriage.
When J and I first began to get serious (hehe which was on our 5th date) we both came from different backgrounds, upbringings, and beliefs about all sorts of things. We had so much in common, but we had somethings that needed to be worked on.
One of the things I had to learn was to see things from J's perspective. We all have our own way of doing things. And in a marriage a main tool to use is compromise.
J was an only child, I am a middle child. So you can imagine the different roles we each play in our families. J was completely and totally spoiled by his parents. He was /is their life.
So when we got married J was not accustomed to "Helping" around the house. Or making sure things we taken care of. His mom is a very organized person so everything he needed was always right there. She took very good care of her baby boy.
So just use your imagination on how things went down... sounds serious right? Well it could have been.
But God did sometime to my mind. I started to think about where he came from and what was his learned behaviors. So instead of losing my cool and nagging him to death we continue to implement different things to help both of us.
I do not want to spend my married life nagging or be one of those wives you complain about their husbands. In fact I refuse to be.
J and I still work on this problem today.
He needs reminding and I try to do everything myself. However is more than willing to help me. So we implement schedules on our refrigerator, alarms on our phones, and he checks in with me to make sure I'm communicating what I need from him.
We do not always succeed in this, but we try our hardest!
So my perspective is... we have to accept some things about our spouses. They are who they are. If the behaviour is not damaging then make a choice.
Do I want to be that nagging wife?
Do I want to spend all my energy being annoyed?
How can I help this situation?