Burntout

I'm not sure where, who, what...I've never been here in this season of my life.

I've never been 28 (almost)
I've never been a college graduate (almost)
I've never been so confused about what to do with my life... 

Frustrating to say the least when I feel like totally abandoning all my plans because they are just not what I want anymore as far as career wise and my education. It is just seeming a little overwhelming. 

I've aspired to be this great blogger, but I have not blogged like I've wanted. 

Honestly getting on here talking about my soul searching has not really seemed appealing to me. I guess because I am not sure what to write! LOL 

I have had everything planned out... but my parents were right it seems, the older you get the less you know or have figured out. 

I keep thinking about graduating. What will I do with my life? What do I really want to do? 

I've always struggled with the what I want to do compared to what I SHOULD do? I usually have a overwhelming conscientious personality... and lean toward the should.

I should be content in my job right now. But I am not. There is just something stirring in me that wants change. Does that make sense? 

It has everything that in retrospect I've wanted to do.However it is not a job I would stay at forever. 
1. It has to be renewed every year and I'm only approved for through May
2. No benefits
3. Not full time

But it does pay decent. But money is not something I'm willing to base my life on. 

Now I'm rambling :) 

As you can see I'm conflicted!! That is not even touching the iceberg with my education. Do I continue or do focus on my career without going to graduate school?



Enough complaining! I'm truly blessed with so much. I'm a rich woman indeed. 

 I have an amazing husband, family, and friends. God has been so good to me. I know he will help me and lead me. 

Please be in prayer for my friend S her mother is fighting cancer, they just found out this past weeks. They need God's touch. 

Happy Monday!

Aunt LaLa

Comments

  1. SherrySeptember 23, 2013 at 2:28 PM

    Lauren, this truly touched my heart, and I will be praying for you. I know how hard it is to be at a point in your life where you are confused about where you are being led to go next. It truly teaches us to "lean not on our own understanding!" I guess it is at these places where we are truly being tested to put our faith in God to guide us where He wants us to be. Of course, that place may not look at all like we have planned and it may not even look very appealing so it can be a scary venture. I can't say I have ever been the best at trusting but know that my thoughts and prayers are with you. I want to see what ever is in store for you guys because you deserve the very best!

    ReplyDelete
  2. sleelySeptember 23, 2013 at 3:15 PM

    You'll figure it out babe!! One day at a time! God gives us our love for something and gives us our knowledge and talent to conquer our dreams. You will be fine, just finish school and let God lead. Love you

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

I love to hear from my blogger friends! I will always try my best to reply to each one! Thanks for stopping by!

Popular posts from this blog

One year ago today my life changed

Image
One year ago today a new season in my life was manifested. One year ago this morning around 2am we lost our precious baby. Hope would be around 4 months right now had she been meant to stay on this earth. Even though my heart is broken I feel Gods presence with me today, so strong. Through many talks and prayers with my God, I made it through these last few days without being devastated. Through my obiedance I believe God gave more healing to my heart. Sunday morning was extremely difficult. But I received so much support. Physically, mentally, and spiritually. My sweet friends and family held me hand, rubbed my back, gave me hugs as I stood for the first time as a mom on the stage with the rest of the moms. I can not even begin to describe how much they helped. I know without their support and God's supernatural strength I wouldn't have made it through. As I left service I felt a little lighter, a little bit of that dark grief left. Last night was our women...
Read more

Never dreamed...

Starting last Monday this week was a complete roller coaster. Not sure if I could ever explain to anyone how painful it has been. I've struggled with if I should write about my experience. To write about something so close to you can make you seem so vulnerable. Writing has always helped me. I've kept a journal since I was nine. I've always been very analytical with my feelings and things going on around me. Which is why I have a journal, a prayer journal, and a blog :) Crazy, I know. I usually don't have much time to write in any of them, but the blog. I wonder how many women suffer silently because of what this one even does to us emotionally, physically, and spiritually. I don't want to suffer alone. I needed to know that what I'm feeling is normal. Even though people can be very sympathetic, some seem like it is no big deal. It was a big deal. And every second with the Lords help I'm making it. Last Monday night I had a miscarriage. Even as I type ...
Read more

I am the mom not you

Image
Through out my life there have been many times where unsolicited advice has been overwhelming, frustrat ing ,and hurtful. There has been three times that it was all the three above. 1. When I got married 2. When I had a miscarriage 3. When I had Ethan A few months ago I asked mothers to send me things that pertained to mothering their children. Some responses were heartbreaking and made me m ad to be honest . Some were your typical insensitive things that people say. I started writing this post to give examples, but I could not continue because honestly I was getting too angry. Some of the moms I have talked to have really suffered in silence by what some others have called "help" or just saying their opinions because they "care". My heart hurts so bad for these women.  I am a pretty bold person. I have had my moments where I have had to kindly put some one in their place. I also have had to be firm. Mothers need to feel empowered! These...
Read more