Aunt LaLa

So yesterday not such a great day. I just had a really hard time shaking off this depressed feeling. The doctor told me thats to be expected. Don't worry, the Dr. gave me a small dose of something to just help me through this time. So I've been struggling with finding joy in anything I do. Things that would be pleasant to me just seem mundane and unenjoyable. Did I mention this blog was going to be a bit transparent... well I'm saying again (smile) I'll be honest here, I don't feel like breaking out of this. I want to go home crawl in bed. And just lay there.  However, I AM making my self GO. I'm trying different things to give me some joy. I work on my house, go for a walk out side, cuddle with Abby, and spend time with Josh. Which is hard during the week. I want to spend all my time with him, but thats not realistic. I pray continuously through the day. Through this I've noticed a change in my personal relationship with Christ... it seems more intimate...

Linking up with Jamie !  I'm Loving that yesterday was a great day with the hubby I'm Loving that today is Wednesday - one day closer to the weekend I'm Loving our new house! (promise pics soon) I'm Loving that tonight is church I'm Loving my hair cut I'm Loving our baby  I'm Loving my Josh, he is great, and I love him I'm Loving my Jesus!

21 days...  you have been gone 21 days I'm still holding on 21 days my heart is still broke 21 days... 21 days I'm still crying 21 days I feel like I'm dying 21 days I'm leaning on him 21 days my arms are still heavy 21 days he has carried me through 21 days I love you 21 days I'll never forget 21 days I'm taking baby steps 21 days, 21 days... To be honest, right now this is exactly how my mind. 21 days just keeps repeating... Is every Tuesday bound to be this way? Only time will tell I suppose. I miss our baby and my heart just hurts today... No this poem is not a work of art... I just needed to express how I was feeling. Until tomorrow...

We have two choices when we are walking through this life in my opinion. We can: #1 Blame God for everything. Which takes so much energy to be angry at someone who loves even when you hate them. Every decision you make that makes you suffer a consequence, well thats God's fault. He could have stopped me. Or a loved one is suffering.. God's fault. He could have made that person different or helped the situation. So one passes away. Your heart is broken. God should let us live forever. Or they were taken so soon. How could a loving God do this? #2 Cling to God. Understand that yes LIFE happens. Its a cycle of things. Events and circumstance make us who we are. And God gives a choice because he loves us so much. So when I fall and make bad choices he is there to pick me up. When I see loved ones suffer for various reasons, I trust that God has a perfect plan for THEM. I am not God, and do not know what there walk is. Its theirs. Through their trials and pains God is moldin...

Is it just me our does it seen this year is flying by? Well our second night in our house went much more smoothly. Plus we have a new mattress! Actually, I don't know if I ever have had a new matress? So I can knock that one off my bucket list LOL So not a long post but just saying hope everyone has a great weekend!

Dear A.M. , You are no longer my home. I have such sweet memories with you. And leaving you was difficult. Dear New house , if you could keep the noise down at night that would be great Dear moving helpers, thanks is not enough. If not for your help we would have never finished. Dear Ricky, you are the best brother ever! Thanks for all your help this week!! Love u! Dear J, I love so much, even if you were snapping at me yesterday. You get a free pass, just this once :) Dear Baby, I miss you so much. Just wish I could hug you and kiss your face. Dear Dr, Thank you for being so kind. Dear Pixel and Abby, stop moping you will get used to the new house. Dear Blog Friends, Thanks for spreading the word about my blog, please continue to do so. Dear Blog , yesterday was 100th POST!!!! WOW! Dear Lord, thank you for being faithful even in the smallest of things. 1.  What were you scared of as a kid? I did not like clowns. At ALL. Just gave me the creeps. Not a fan of bugs ...

Cleaning and packing until 2:30 am. Up at 8:00 am. Moving since around 10 am. Just now sitting down. Can you day TIRED? I think we can. We still have to find a matress today. Other wise the couch and love seat are our beds. Smile. Thankful right now for so much. God is faithful. These past 2 months have been awful. But through every trial, he has brought us through. I had a slight moment today leaving. Three years is a long place to live for me. Plus its the only place I had the baby. See here I go again. I know that time will heal, and I'll have a few more hard days ahead, but God is carrying me right now. Last night a young women I know have me something so precious. It meant so much. I don't know if she even realized how that gave me a little piece of healing. So thank you again C.N. :) So, I will see all you people tomorrow!