Delete.
Hello readers
Ugh, I've struggled over here with writing this post.
But, it is really on my heart. And it is because I have unresolved emotions about a couple friendships that I feel I have lost this year.
Unfortunately they are not situations that I can go and tell these individuals. Maybe one day but the situations are difficult and sensitive.
I am not one to harbor feelings, I do not want to go through life with unresolved with offense.
My heart was hurt.
My flesh wants to just react. I want to delete connections on social media and delete numbers on my phone. Ignore them like I have felt they ignored me.
But, I can not... well I could.
But I won't.
Here is why.
I have been a bad friend at one time or another. I try my best to love like I would want some one to love me, but I know I have failed.
Sometimes, that is one-sided...being a good friend
Every time I get frustrated, or I am hurt because these friends are not there in any way for me I want to lash out.
Then the Holy Spirit nudges me and reminds me that Jesus did not do that.
He got frustrated. He was hurt.
Like, when his friends could not even stay awake and help him pray. Or when he knew Peter was going to deny him in his most difficult time.
He loved them anyway.
My flesh wants to hurt them back, but that is not what Jesus wants.
It is hard to feel like you have really been close to someone and their families and then they just act as if your not there.
You have watched their kids grow. Been apart of important moments. To not even get a text or message when your dad almost dies, your in-laws almost die, you have a baby, or when your baby gets sick.
Then I am reminded that Jesus loved me before I loved him. I did nothing to deserve his love. In fact I rejected it in my sin.
I want to do what is pleasing to God, not just what would make me feel like I got my say... or hurt them back.
My actions will be kept as a record, and I will have to answer for those actions. I do not want to do anything that will not please God. Even in my hurt.
Being a Christian is more than just going to church. It is about my actions and character. About how I live my life.
So, I will continue to pray for my friends and the situations that surround them. If they need prayer or support I will be there.
Hopefully, one day I can resolve my feelings. And I can have a honest conversation with them.
Even if that does not happen, I will love them. I am choosing to be like Jesus, and I will love them like I want to be loved.
It is a choice.
Love,
Aunt LaLa
Very good word baby. Sometimes it's harder to do what's right in God's eyes. I love you!
ReplyDeletePeople change; they grow up and they grow apart. Every friend you make teaches you something about others and about yourself. They were meant to show you what to look for in others, what you can and can't live with. They were put in your lives for the memories you've shared and the experiences you've braved together. The duration of your friendship doesn't define its worth and definitely doesn't put on an expiration date. Just because you grew up together and have been friends for eight years, doesn't mean they won't hurt you or that you have to stay friends. And subsequently, just because you've clicked with someone instantly and became friends in a few short months 100% does NOT mean they are any less of a friend or that they can't be your best friend just because you haven't known them for that long. It boils down to who you can feel your most comfortable with, who will be there for you when the going gets tough, and who won't be. They have their ups and downs, but the good should always outweigh the bad and if it doesn't it's OK to end the friendship; it isn't binding. (Found this on another page and thought it was good advice for all of us) Love you, grams
ReplyDeleteWhew, girl, you are preaching to me today! And that is why I NEED to stay connected to you at least through social media. You really do inspire me. I have been through this so much in recent years. As we have moved twice in the last few years, it seems less and less people seem to care to stay connected to us. I am always so disappointed by how few people reach out to me about Mattie on her birthday every year. I see other people getting tons of comments and caring words when they lose a pet or something way less traumatic. Sigh. I am kind of a shy and reserved person anyway so it is hard for me to get really close to people and trust them, but when I do, it hurts when they don't appreciate it. Sigh. I hope you know how much I appreciate all of your thoughts, prayers, and words of encouragement to me through the last few years.
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