Aunt LaLa

Before I get into my muse what do you think of the new look??   My mind is more confused now as to why people sometimes have children to "fix" or enhance their relationship. If you know J and I personally or have been around Aunt LaLa for a while you know how much we love one another and how hard we work at having a healthy marriage. Marriage is one of the greatest and scariest commitments you can make. Josh and I celebrated our eight year anniversary today. Eight years! And in year three we decided we were ready to start trying to get pregnant. We had no idea what a journey we would be taking in trying to grow our family. In year seven it happened! We had a baby! What a miracle, our baby boy. I thought I was prepared for everything... as much as I could be. But what I was not prepared for was how having our miracle took a toll on my marriage. Wow.  I was felt so disconnected to J. It literally broke my heart.  First we went through a...

Through out my life there have been many times where unsolicited advice has been overwhelming, frustrat ing ,and hurtful. There has been three times that it was all the three above. 1. When I got married 2. When I had a miscarriage 3. When I had Ethan A few months ago I asked mothers to send me things that pertained to mothering their children. Some responses were heartbreaking and made me m ad to be honest . Some were your typical insensitive things that people say. I started writing this post to give examples, but I could not continue because honestly I was getting too angry. Some of the moms I have talked to have really suffered in silence by what some others have called "help" or just saying their opinions because they "care". My heart hurts so bad for these women.  I am a pretty bold person. I have had my moments where I have had to kindly put some one in their place. I also have had to be firm. Mothers need to feel empowered! These...

I am one of the 15% of women that has been diagnosed with postpartum depression. Over the last few years there have been  some very hard seasons of life. One of those hard seasons was infertility which was a hot topic here on the blog. We lost our baby, Hope. After four years of trying to get pregnant it happened! We conceived without any help of medicine... our miracle baby. The pregnancy was pretty uneventful. Worked hard on keeping my sugar levels down. I just thought finally, I get my hearts desire. Ethan had been growing very fast. At my 36 week ultrasound they were saying he was close to 11lbs. On September 14th in the evening Ethan wasn't moving much. It had me very  worried. The next morning I was scheduled to be checked again because of his rapid growth. At the ultrasound Ethan was not moving but his heartbeat was strong. Long story short emergency cesarean, Ethan went to NICU for 3 weeks. I did not get to hold him until he was a week old. I h...

Here we are at the beginning of the holiday season! Time is just zooming around right along with my boy who zooming everywhere walking... Change is tough. Really tough... But I am writing about change on the tail end of my season of change. We have settled into our new home, new roles, and a different life than we had known before our boy. It is much easier to say "everything is going well" now that we have been doing this for more than a year. I cannot believe I just typed that! As a family we have made some difficult decisions on the behalf of Ethan and what is best for him. As of May of this year we decided it was best for me to stay home with Ethan for the time being. We have had to make sacrifices and our budget is extremely tight. It was also a great fit for me.  After having Ethan I had some serious Postpartum Depression. But that is for another post...  This last year has been amazing, stressful, but there has just been so much love.  ...

I cannot believe it has been so long since I have wrote on this blog. At one time I look forward to writing in this blog every single day. But boy has life changed. Today I celebrate the fact that God had other plans for my life then what I actually thought or was told. when I was 15 I was told that I would probably never be able to have children naturally. Then 3 years ago exactly today my biggest dream of having a child I thought was gone forever. Josh and I suffered a loss a very surprising loss. we made it through that with God's grace and strength and I was able to gain friendships through this tragedy that I never thought I would. Hopefully by sharing my testimony through that trying time somebody was touch or encourage through Christ and our testimony. We think about Hope often but somehow our wounds and grief have subsided with the love and gift that we have with Ethan. We haven't forgot about our angel in heaven but are continuing to celebrate life here on earth....

Becoming a mom has only showed me more the role in a woman's life. Ladies we have a big job. A big job. Yes, dads-husbands-men have major roles too, but as I get older I see more and more how the mom-wife-woman are the glue.  This post is really written to the wives... just some thoughts When I was younger when someone  mentioned the traditional role of a wife I would cringe. Me? "Submit" to a man? I had a very narrow view of what a traditional life was. As a modern woman that is independent and was raised to know my own mind, not only know and respect myself but that it was okay to voice it. Then I got married. As the years have passed I've learned that my role as a wife, now a mother is SO much more than I could see through my "Ms. Independent" eyes. And the LORD God said, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper meet for him." ( Genesis 2:18 ) … man was not created for the sake of the woman, but woman ...

Good bye.. ...2014. ...to the year I received the greatest gift on this earth besides Christ. ...to the anxiety that came with being pregnant with my miracle. ...to my college career ...to our family of two ...to our doggie, Pixel ...East Tennessee Children's Hospital ...plans that did not work out                                                           ...feeling my baby in my belly         Hello... ...2015. ...my baby boy Ethan ...to many many first ...to finding a better home ...to a family of 3 now ...to new beginnings ...to changes ...to growing closer to God ...to Ethan ....a new job (maybe) ...to new plans ...to chang...