Aunt LaLa

I turned 32. As I do every year I look forward to my birthday. And I ponder. I think about my life the past year and if I have changed. Am I going into the new year different than the last? Have you noticed that I have an analytical mind? (smile) As I have gotten older, one question in particular has gotten louder in my head... Am I making a difference? If you hang around here you know Jesus is my number one passion. Followed by my husband and sweet little boy. But I am more than just a wife or a mother. I have to check in with myself every now and then to make sure that I'm being Mindful and doing what God has called me to do as my own person. Part of my calling is to be a wife, and a mother, but it is also a call to be in the ministry and to grow the kingdom of God. I want to make a difference. I want to have the kind of Legacy that when people look back on my life after I'm gone that they think "wow, God really showed in her ...

Death to a precious life I will not meet until Heaven Death to my sense of security Death to what I believed was untouchable Death to my prideful way of thinking Death to a part of me... I wrote this in my blog "Why Am I Like This?" . And wanted to talk a little more about it. We had a young man share about a loss he experienced with his girlfriend several years ago. As he was talking my heart was racing and I felt my raw emotions coming up. In our previous leadership role with the teens we work with we always try to be honest (appropriately) about things  we struggle with. So I did not want to skate over this subject as were talking about something unrelated, but wanted to tie in how it did effect us. I think one of the biggest impacts that losing Little Bit had was between Josh and I. I hesitate on sharing this, but Josh does not mind. As he has read and approved what I write when it involves his emotions. If I include him in these post I wa...

I am one in four. 15 - 20% of all clinically recognized pregnancies end in miscarriage. That is a large number. Since June of 2016 our family has had to endure four miscarriages. One being my own. In my memories on Facebook I seen where I had posted and about the interview with Channel 8 here in East Tennessee. And I shared about the balloon release that we did in 2013. And I remember getting so much healing from both balloon releases that we did in honor of Hope, and all the other angels that we wrote on our balloons for the ones who could not be with us. And since I've had Ethan I have not been able to have a balloon release. The first year that I didn't was because Ethan was just out of the NICU and with the new baby, and being a new mom it was hectic and I was dealing with postpartum. Then the next year I was enjoying being a mom and honestly did not want to spend my birthday or my birthday month grieving.  Not that Hope was ever forgotten or...