Aunt LaLa

This week is Infertility Awareness Week. If you have been hanging around Aunt LaLa for a while you know infertility is a big part of my life. Our story has been a long one, but does not compare to some of the heart ache that couples have suffered. And are still suffering.  Struggling with infertility was the hardest things I've been through. I've lost a sweet angel. Now I'm gaining a miracle. Even though I'm finally expecting, it is still so fresh in my mind of the pain and heart ache we went through.  We have been trying to get pregnant for four years. Never in my dreams did I think I would travel down this road or know how hard it would be. I've cried buckets and buckets through this journey!  As a woman you struggle through so many emotions. You feel inadequate, that something is wrong with you, worthless, useless, guilt, and most of all your heart is broken. These are feelings that come and go. Sometimes are more over whelming than other times.  ...

SOURCE I was struggling with some doubts and fears. It started so innocently just as casual as opening a little door to my heart. Then as the weeks progressed and I kept the fears and thoughts to my self, the bigger and harder to handle they became. One particular day I was trying to just read my devotional and it was like a tidal wave of attack came upon my mind. I believe that we fight an invisible war, sometimes we see the outcomes of this war and sometimes we may not know what we were just protected from or praying against.  Scripture tells us 12  For our struggle is not against enemies of blood and flesh, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers of this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. (Ephesians 6:12) 10 The thief (satan) comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. (John 10:10) As I was fighting th...

I have a little miracle inside of me, a little precious baby that will have a perfect mix of J and I.... I cannot wait to hug our child and to kiss its sweet little face! My heart was bursting at seeing our child's profile and seeing their mouth opening and closing. Oh my heart!! In saying that, this post may be TMI, just warning you. It may be embarrassing but... I was "warned" you could say. Women told me there would be exhaustion, nauseousness, hormones... And I listened. But I guess I cannot blame them for not being able to put into words the extreme side of these things. Hormones- They said you are emotional, you sometimes want to just punch your hubby, then there are sometimes that all you want to do is be hugged and held. I have never felt so crazy...ever. I remember being told that it is like PMS but worse. Worse? It is so crazy that I would not even compare it with PMS! WOWZER! It felt like I was on a roller coaster! A fast, twisty, upside down coas...

So... even though I'm not extremely showing I want to document every bit of this experience! I LOVE being pregnant! (PS. Don't get excited I only used blue font on the picture because it shows up really well... we STILL don't know the sex yet.)   Do you not just LOVE that little arm! It waved and waved at us at the ultrasound! We even got to see Baby open and closing it's mouth. I've never been so amazed. What a beautiful life that is growing in me. God is so amazing! And faithful, and I'm so so so thankful!    I'm in my second trimester. Baby L is doing really well. Measuring on target. Actually it is measuring 3 days ahead.  The first trimester was a roller coaster.. and to be honest this weeks has not been any different. More about that in the next post. J and I are so excited and can hardly talk about anything else. Our little miracle is growing and growing!  I'm loving my bump! I love looking pregnant! Even though my ...