I was interviewed in October 2013 by WVLT when I organized a balloon release in memory of our sweet babies and to offer a place of healing for parents, family, and friends. Even though you may not hear that parent talk about their babies they lost, the thought of them is not far from their heart. I'm thankful for the healing God has done in my life and my heart. But I miss my two babies in Heaven terribly. I hold them dear to my heart. October is pregnancy and infant loss awareness month and the 15th is PAIL Day. So, Tuesday October 15th at 6:30pm, Josh and I will release balloons for our two sweet babies. Hope (May 2012) and Sarah (September 2016)
If you are are local, your welcome to join us with your balloon. Or if you would like I will write your baby's name on a balloon to release. You can leave the name in the comments, or private message me.
Know that if you are grieving your sweet baby, you are not alone. And having other children does not diminish your love for your baby or babies you lost. It still hurts.
Even though I'm in a busy and blessed season of life, I want to stop and remember my babies. I miss them. I look forward to the day when I can hold them.
Sarah is a wonderful name! And Hope is too. I think the loss of a baby born or not is such a heartbreak. Some handle it with less grief than others but still any level of grief is too much to have to go through. I am so thankful for Ethan and Esther! They bring so much joy to our lives! Love my grandchildren and great grandchildren and hopefully get to meet the great great. Oh my I am old! Love you, old grams
My post on here, my personal Facebook, my Instagram account almost never hold a rant. There is this stigma that really gets under my skin. I lost my baby at six weeks and one day. And I am grieving. It is hard. No that does not make my love any less for E. No his everyday smiles does not some how magically erase my broken heart. (It sure helps me smile though) No I am not reveling in the past but mourning a child... that I already had dreamed of. Made plans for. Decided on a name if it was a girl. No I am not being dramatic. If you know me at all the desire to be a mother has been strong in my heart since childhood. So to loose something you so desperately want is heartbreaking. It does not take away from my faith, or mean I don't trust in God. It does mean I am questioning and asking why? It does mean that I get angry. And feel I have been dealt ...
I wrote this post last month actually... and I felt it needed some editing. Here is the finished post. I didn't change the ending because in the moment of writing this God was working on my heart and turned my pity party into a very humble and personal moment... I hope it touches your heart in some way. These past couple weeks have been harder for me. Not sure if it's my sweet natured baby is now yelling, pitching fits, hitting when he is mad... Sigh. Then I was sick. Then hormones are acting up. Whatever the cause I've really missed my life being just Josh and I. I miss being able to stay on the phone for way too long with my best friend. I miss being in school. I miss the camraderie of my cohort. I miss being able to enjoy going to work. I would not change having Ethan. My BIG little miracle. The gift of being a mommy is one of the greatest gifts. I love him so much. But being a mommy sometimes is lonely. There is a sacrifice to be...
Hi everyone! If you are still around and reading my ramblings...thank you. I've always loved to write, not too long ago someone asked me why I never write anymore. My immediate answer was "I just don't have the time" But really, I could make time. I think life has been CRAZY, hard, and full. I think just like everyone there has been a struggle in all of us this last year and into this year. I have had some personal things I have worked through. Some things in my family that have been hard to navigate. My heart has grieved. However, God has been nearer than he ever has. I have seen small and big miracles. I have seen healing. I have seen other men and women of God change before my eyes. Seeing answered prayers of people that I care about happening weekly. I have depended on God more in the last year and a half than I ever have. I have also experienced more freedom than I ever have spiritually. I am just incredibly grateful. So gratefu...
Sarah is a wonderful name! And Hope is too. I think the loss of a baby born or not is such a heartbreak. Some handle it with less grief than others but still any level of grief is too much to have to go through. I am so thankful for Ethan and Esther! They bring so much joy to our lives! Love my grandchildren and great grandchildren and hopefully get to meet the great great. Oh my I am old! Love you, old grams
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