Aunt LaLa

 Hi everyone!  If you are still around and reading my ramblings...thank you.  I've always loved to write, not too long ago someone asked me why I never write anymore.  My immediate answer was "I just don't have the time" But really, I could make time. I think life has been CRAZY, hard, and full. I think just like everyone there has been a struggle in all of us this last year and into this year.  I have had some personal things I have worked through. Some things in my family that have been hard to navigate. My heart has grieved.  However, God has been nearer than he ever has. I have seen small and big miracles. I have seen healing. I have seen other men and women of God change before my eyes. Seeing answered prayers of people that I care about happening weekly.  I have depended on God more in the last year and a half than I ever  have. I have also experienced more freedom than I ever have spiritually.  I am just incredibly grateful. So gratefu...

I am so overcome with emotion! Like that bubbly feeling you feel and your just not sure what to do with your self? Through much prayer I accepted a role at my local church as the Children's Pastor. I’ve always loved children, and am looking forward to all that God is going to do through our ministry team! One of the main and most important job is teach these children about JESUS. Jesus died for you and for me. So that we may receive forgiveness of our sin through Jesus Christ, so that we can spend eternity with God. We are about Jesus and God’s truth in our house. E has asked many questions and we have many discussions about Jesus. I was teaching a couple weeks ago (July 10, 2019), and it E was the only one in my class at the time. We started talking about how God can change a situation that does not look that great, if we allow the Holy Spirit to help us to see things differently. I told him that Jesus saved us from our sins so that we co...

Whew!! That was ROUGH! Our sweet girl is about to be nine months (insert momma crying hysterically)... Literally the day she turned six months it felt like the sun came out and the fog moved away. Like taking a breath of fresh air. Like a days and days of cold, cold rain. Then you wake up because the SUN is shining in your face, the clouds moved on. My FOG was gone!! You know I have heard so many times that each pregnancy is different. And it was. I've been told each delivery is different. And it was. But for whatever reason I never thought about postpartum being different. I prepared myself mentally and emotionally (I wrote about my postpartum depression  HERE ). I talked to my Dr. about it. I was READY! Well... I WAS NOT ready (Face ---> Palm) Josh and I talked about warning signs and what our plan was. We talked about how we were going to transition in our relationship and how we were going to handle Ethan's jealous...

When I sit down to write, it is impossible for me to write something that is of quality if it is NOT what is on my mind/heart.  So, I really want to start writing again. It is therapeutic for me to get it out. I think I have stopped myself from writing because what I want to say sometimes is not edifying and just frustrating.  Our society, our culture, everywhere feels like it is so hostile.  I have seen in the last couple years people leave friends behind, family get bitter with one another.  Hate and anger fuel mean and hurtful words.  What is even more frustrating is that its most over some sort of social media platform.  What are we allowing the media and these platforms to do? I get it. Your passionate.  I read a "rant" from a person. And it hurt my heart. It was full of anger, and slamming others for what they felt in their hearts was the right thing.  At the same time I've seen this same person lectu...

In a post I mentioned that J and I had resigned as Jr High Youth leaders. It was not a quick decision. We have loved serving as Jr High Youth Leaders, and have watched several groups move on and now are in college. We started the Jr High group in August of 2010. I have to admit that first group holds a special place in our hearts. About a year and half ago J and I both felt God pushing us to something else. We did not feel it was right to leave the Jr High yet, but we felt there was a change coming. Last year we started helping teach the Sr High and Jr High together. It was a great learning experience. And we LOVE our kids at HCF. (Our church) Then a few months ago, we started feel that pull again, except this time we felt free to resign. We had not talked with anyone else except for our close friends to help us pray. Now, we felt released but had no where to go really... there are several areas that we volunteer anyway. But for our main ministry outlet we did know wh...

Who will be the examples to my child, niece, and nephews in the future? I feel like in our government and sometimes in our daily lives the good men and woman are few and far between. The men/woman of integrity. Faith. Purpose. Drive. Love. Integrity to me is so important. It is what I looked for in a husband. A pastor. A friend.  Integrity the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness. synonyms: honesty, probity, rectitude, honor, good character, principle(s), ethics, morals, righteousness, morality, virtue, decency, fairness, scrupulousness, sincerity, truthfulness, trustworthiness Look at those synonyms. How many people do you know that would meet that description? I do not know many. I often think what would people see me as? Am I making a difference for God? Am I representing Christ in a way that would make someone want to know what I have in my salvation, or am I just convincing them of what some of the world thin...

Life is full of things you can never prepare for. We all make plans, goals, dream about the future... In reality, we do not know what is going to happen tomorrow or in the next moment. When the enemy drags us down and keep us in the dark places of bitterness, anger, discontent, depression, grief, negativity... we miss out. We miss out on laughs and good times because we are so consumed with our junk. Do we really want to live like that? I do not. But have you ever noticed how easy it is to get to that place and stay there? How it is so hard to get back that happiness? Ever sat down and thought about that? Maybe I am a different breed (smile) but I think a lot. I'm super aware of my decisions and emotions. Most of the time that is not a bad thing, but when I allow myself to get in those previous mentioned dark places it is certainly NOT a good thing. There has been so many words of wisdom I've heard over the weekend.  Through other women and through the Holy Spir...

Unstable is how I feel. Not in a I might harm myself or others...ok there is one person who I'm having a hard time being around. God and I are working on that. Any way, I'll spare you details [not wanting to sound whiny] but every since God opened the doors for me to share our story it feels as if I have been in a battle.  I'm weary. I'm angry. I'm worried. I'm fearful. I'm insecure. However, I do serve a God who loves me and no, I don't understand all his ways and I'm certain they are far more complex than my mind can comprehend. He is strong He is calm He is peace He is LOVE He is unchanged Where I'm weak he is strong.  I'm thankful for friends and family who are praying for us. We have decisions to make, changes to come and we need his guidance.  Let's encourage one another, is there anything I can pray for you about? I would love to. Darkness is driven out by light. So let's spread CHRI...

I probably shouldn't try and write this late (only past 11). It's late for me. Not sure how to even write all that I feel. It is almost like I've been avoiding sitting down and writing how I feel. Because honestly I have not even allowed myself to stop and "feel".  For one, the people that I love most in my life have had some major life stressors, which with my 'super hero' 'I can take of everyone' 'I have control over everything' personality has added stress to my life. None of it being thrown on me with out my consent mind you.  Father-in-law's life threatening surgery was a BIG deal. I watched people I love go through so many emotions before, during, and after surgery. I watched my husband internalize all his emotions and trying not to worry so that he could work and take care of us. I watched as my mother-in-law faced losing the love of her life. All of this chipping away little by little on my composure. I dove int...

Sometimes I want to fix. I want the people I love to do the right thing. I want them to love like I do. I want to protect them from themselves. I want them to have the love for God I do. I want.... I want....  I exhaust myself in "I want" I've been reading this book by Joyce Meyer. "The Battle Belongs to the Lord" I am only chapter two and God is really showing things to me. For one, I can not change people, circumstance, situations, events.... I am NOT God. And I exhaust my self trying to figure out "What can I DO?" I am a person of action. I want results. I hate sitting and waiting. I'll be honest in saying I am  not the most patient person. When J and I face a challenge my mind immiediatley starts to try and figure out what can I do. When I see my family suffering or making wrong choices I want to guide them and give advice. When I am having a bad day, feeling sad, disapointed... whatever... I immideiatley think "How can I ge...

Hey it's me! Oh I know I'm probably relaxing by the pool right now on the beach.... :) Was not that some great guest post! Seriously check these ladies out :) So I posed the question "What does your faith mean to you?" On twitter and facebook. These are some of the answers I got...  Lisa: Trusting in God 100% of the time Josh: everything I am, with out it I'm nothing. Sharon: Trust, confidence in our Lord! Keeps my fear away! Frances: It's what that takes me through each and every day. It's what gives me the strength to go on and do the impossible when in the natural I feel like all hope is gone. It's my faith in Jesus that gives me the hope and peace needed to survive in this present world and gives me joy in my heart. And my faith in Jesus is what will take me to Heaven when my life here is over...It's who I am at the core of my being. Pat: Trust! So, I ask you bloggers, what does YOUR faith mean to you?...

Today's guest post is from my dearest friend Mel! Melanie and I are best buds! We have been best friends since we were nine years old. Not many are so blessed to have a best friend that are for life. We have been been through everything together! We stood with each other against the world (so we thought) , we have made "Buck of our Lives" videos, we have laughed until we were crying, cried on each other shoulders, been there to cheer each other on, we have seen each other at our worst and been honest enough to tell them so (LOL) ... We were also there standing as witnesses on each of our wedding days.  I love you best bud! ________________________________________________________________________________ What my faith means to me. If you've ever mistakenly left home without your coat during an unexpected cold front, you know the feeling I'm about to describe. You check the weather, you step outside your door, you see the sunshine peeking through the wi...

I've known Frances since I was about 17. We went to church together and I became friends with her daughter. I taught her little boy (who is not so little anymore) in the pre-school Sunday school class. Francis is such a sweet spirit. She was always so kind and giving you a smile. I have such fond memories of her and my mother talking. I remember her and my mother heading up a "Tea of Pure Joy" where we were taught abstinence and what plan God had laid before us. I remember the time that we had a lock in for the girls and was teaching how to cook. She reminds of the women in Proverbs 31. I'm honored to have her share with us. ________________________________________________________________________________ First I want to say how honored I am that Lauren (Aunt Lala) has asked me to write a guest post for her wonderful blog.   Lauren asked that I share about what my faith means to me, and that is always a special topic.   When I think about faith I think abou...

What a time it's been this last few months! Between school, work, and life it seems my life has been a whirlwind!  So guess what? We are going on vacation... actually when you read this I am already on my way.  I thought about what to do this week, and I knew what was on my heart. God has been showing me many things over these last few months... I'm learning and he is molding.  My passion, my drive, my dreams are all founded in my faith.  When it came to being employed I prayed and trusted that God would lead and guide me. When it came to choosing our church, we prayed and trusted that God would guide.  Everything is wrapped in my faith.  Choosing my spouse. Eating right. Trips. Bills. Friends. My work at my job. Our Hope. Marriage. My faith has given me strength. Given me Hope. Given me peace. Given me joy.  In essence...  My faith is my LIFE  Join me this week as I have two great guest blogge...