Aunt LaLa

Unstable is how I feel. Not in a I might harm myself or others...ok there is one person who I'm having a hard time being around. God and I are working on that. Any way, I'll spare you details [not wanting to sound whiny] but every since God opened the doors for me to share our story it feels as if I have been in a battle.  I'm weary. I'm angry. I'm worried. I'm fearful. I'm insecure. However, I do serve a God who loves me and no, I don't understand all his ways and I'm certain they are far more complex than my mind can comprehend. He is strong He is calm He is peace He is LOVE He is unchanged Where I'm weak he is strong.  I'm thankful for friends and family who are praying for us. We have decisions to make, changes to come and we need his guidance.  Let's encourage one another, is there anything I can pray for you about? I would love to. Darkness is driven out by light. So let's spread CHRI...

In one moment of life everything can change...  The things you were concerned about fall by the wayside... My last post was asking for prayer for my father-in-law (FIL). I do appreciate the prayers for him and the kind words. I'm grateful and yet fearful at what they found. He will have to have triple bypass surgery along with another procedure to fix a vein behind his heart.  You can imgine the feelings of anxiousness when they wheeled him back to his room and told us the procedure could not be done instead he would have to have this life altering surgery.  We sat and talked to the doctors and surgeons. Listening to the pro-cons, statistics, family history... that is when I felt my heart go to my throat and almost lost it.  My FIL was talking about his dad having a massive heart attack in his thirties. J is 32.  I thought I would lose it right there. J is my life. I can not imagine what I would do if.... So as I am sitting there I w...

Worry is an exhausting thing. It can really drain you of energy. There are many things going on right now. One of the main things is we need prayer for my in-laws. My father-in-law will be going into surgery tomorrow morning for a stint in his heart. He has blockage and they are expecting things to go well. These are the times where J being an only child is difficult. Not because I begrudge having to help my in-laws and be there for them. On the contrary, if J had 12 siblings nothing would keep me from being there for them when they needed me. It is just when we you have more family that is supportive the better and stronger you feel. However, the four of us will stand together tomorrow in prayer for a safe surgery and great recovery. I know God will be there for us to give us strength. I can see God's hand in this. It is making J realize that he needs to take better care of himself. It gives me more ambition to push J and myself. My FIL will be "out of commission...