Aunt LaLa

One year ago today a new season in my life was manifested. One year ago this morning around 2am we lost our precious baby. Hope would be around 4 months right now had she been meant to stay on this earth. Even though my heart is broken I feel Gods presence with me today, so strong. Through many talks and prayers with my God, I made it through these last few days without being devastated. Through my obiedance I believe God gave more healing to my heart. Sunday morning was extremely difficult. But I received so much support. Physically, mentally, and spiritually. My sweet friends and family held me hand, rubbed my back, gave me hugs as I stood for the first time as a mom on the stage with the rest of the moms. I can not even begin to describe how much they helped. I know without their support and God's supernatural strength I wouldn't have made it through. As I left service I felt a little lighter, a little bit of that dark grief left. Last night was our women...

I only have 1 week and 2 1/2 days left with my students in the school atmosphere. That's it. Haven't heard anything definite about my job continuing. So that is frustrating. I know God has a plan. This weekend will be difficult. Just wishing I could sleep until next Thursday. Not sure how I'm feeling about Mothers Day. Very conflicting emotions. I can not believe next Wednesday will be  one year we lost our precious baby. I found a great poem that says what I'm feeling. I never got to hold you & bounce you on my lap, I never got to read to you or watch you as you nap.  You slipped away so quickly, before I said your name. And yet I want the world to know I loved you just the same. -Anne Peterson This rings so true in my heart. I loved Hope, I always will. *sighs* Moving on. Friday Letter's with The Sweet Season Dear Mother's Day, not sure how I feel about you at the moment. Not looking forward to you....