Here is our tree. I'm loving it this year! We have so much more room!! :)
And one of Josh and Is Christmas pics my lovely grandmother took. Happy Saturday!
My post on here, my personal Facebook, my Instagram account almost never hold a rant. There is this stigma that really gets under my skin. I lost my baby at six weeks and one day. And I am grieving. It is hard. No that does not make my love any less for E. No his everyday smiles does not some how magically erase my broken heart. (It sure helps me smile though) No I am not reveling in the past but mourning a child... that I already had dreamed of. Made plans for. Decided on a name if it was a girl. No I am not being dramatic. If you know me at all the desire to be a mother has been strong in my heart since childhood. So to loose something you so desperately want is heartbreaking. It does not take away from my faith, or mean I don't trust in God. It does mean I am questioning and asking why? It does mean that I get angry. And feel I have been dealt ...
I wrote this post last month actually... and I felt it needed some editing. Here is the finished post. I didn't change the ending because in the moment of writing this God was working on my heart and turned my pity party into a very humble and personal moment... I hope it touches your heart in some way. These past couple weeks have been harder for me. Not sure if it's my sweet natured baby is now yelling, pitching fits, hitting when he is mad... Sigh. Then I was sick. Then hormones are acting up. Whatever the cause I've really missed my life being just Josh and I. I miss being able to stay on the phone for way too long with my best friend. I miss being in school. I miss the camraderie of my cohort. I miss being able to enjoy going to work. I would not change having Ethan. My BIG little miracle. The gift of being a mommy is one of the greatest gifts. I love him so much. But being a mommy sometimes is lonely. There is a sacrifice to be...
Hi everyone! If you are still around and reading my ramblings...thank you. I've always loved to write, not too long ago someone asked me why I never write anymore. My immediate answer was "I just don't have the time" But really, I could make time. I think life has been CRAZY, hard, and full. I think just like everyone there has been a struggle in all of us this last year and into this year. I have had some personal things I have worked through. Some things in my family that have been hard to navigate. My heart has grieved. However, God has been nearer than he ever has. I have seen small and big miracles. I have seen healing. I have seen other men and women of God change before my eyes. Seeing answered prayers of people that I care about happening weekly. I have depended on God more in the last year and a half than I ever have. I have also experienced more freedom than I ever have spiritually. I am just incredibly grateful. So gratefu...
Comments
Post a Comment
I love to hear from my blogger friends! I will always try my best to reply to each one! Thanks for stopping by!