Here is our tree. I'm loving it this year! We have so much more room!! :)
And one of Josh and Is Christmas pics my lovely grandmother took. Happy Saturday!
My post on here, my personal Facebook, my Instagram account almost never hold a rant. There is this stigma that really gets under my skin. I lost my baby at six weeks and one day. And I am grieving. It is hard. No that does not make my love any less for E. No his everyday smiles does not some how magically erase my broken heart. (It sure helps me smile though) No I am not reveling in the past but mourning a child... that I already had dreamed of. Made plans for. Decided on a name if it was a girl. No I am not being dramatic. If you know me at all the desire to be a mother has been strong in my heart since childhood. So to loose something you so desperately want is heartbreaking. It does not take away from my faith, or mean I don't trust in God. It does mean I am questioning and asking why? It does mean that I get angry. And feel I have been dealt ...
Starting last Monday this week was a complete roller coaster. Not sure if I could ever explain to anyone how painful it has been. I've struggled with if I should write about my experience. To write about something so close to you can make you seem so vulnerable. Writing has always helped me. I've kept a journal since I was nine. I've always been very analytical with my feelings and things going on around me. Which is why I have a journal, a prayer journal, and a blog :) Crazy, I know. I usually don't have much time to write in any of them, but the blog. I wonder how many women suffer silently because of what this one even does to us emotionally, physically, and spiritually. I don't want to suffer alone. I needed to know that what I'm feeling is normal. Even though people can be very sympathetic, some seem like it is no big deal. It was a big deal. And every second with the Lords help I'm making it. Last Monday night I had a miscarriage. Even as I type ...
Hi everyone! If you are still around and reading my ramblings...thank you. I've always loved to write, not too long ago someone asked me why I never write anymore. My immediate answer was "I just don't have the time" But really, I could make time. I think life has been CRAZY, hard, and full. I think just like everyone there has been a struggle in all of us this last year and into this year. I have had some personal things I have worked through. Some things in my family that have been hard to navigate. My heart has grieved. However, God has been nearer than he ever has. I have seen small and big miracles. I have seen healing. I have seen other men and women of God change before my eyes. Seeing answered prayers of people that I care about happening weekly. I have depended on God more in the last year and a half than I ever have. I have also experienced more freedom than I ever have spiritually. I am just incredibly grateful. So gratefu...
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