Aunt LaLa

Look at that cuteness!! I feel almost obligated to apologize to anyone who has prayed, read, or had interest in all the on goings of Aunt LaLa....  I had plans, big plans to record everything. Blog about all life's muses about being a new mom, new jobs, moving, family, J and Ethan. But I haven't.  I guess any mom can relate to when you had your first baby, life changes in so many ways. Ethan has become my life, everything else I finish with the goal of getting back to play and cuddle. Blogging has not seem that important I guess. Oh but how I love to write!  Should I continue to blog? Where is Aunt LaLa going? Does Aunt LaLa - the name -  fit now?  My niece and nephews are still so important to me...  I feel like I've been in a whirlwind! September - We had Ethan early and went into the hospital October- Ethan came home and we adjusted to having a baby and J started a new job with a completely different schedule and driv...

I have been around babies and taking care of them from a very young age but there is just something different when it is your own. There is no "off day", no ending to the shift.  When we came home from the hospital I was so excited and glad to just have my baby at home. So we were now on our own... no nurses and no doctors. Just my boy and I. J had to come pick us up and then return to work unfortunately. So Ethan and I were on our own... it was the best feeling ever.  I was asked if I wanted anyone with me, or was I nervous... the answer to both was no. I honestly could not wait to get by myself with my new little boy.  I knew that there would be sleepless nights. I knew that I was still recovering from surgery. I knew that Josh would be at work all day and I would be the main care taker of Ethan. Oh and do not forget hormones.  Even though I knew that, I gained a whole different understanding of exhaustion. And I gained a whole new respect of my bo...

I have to remind myself that it is OK to feel what I feel... I've been told to give myself permission to just feel the way I do. There is no wrong or right... I just re-read the blog from last year at the second balloon release for Hope and the other angel babies. My heart feels so overwhelmed with so many emotions. Tomorrow is my birthday... I will be 29. I'm sitting right next to a miracle. A real, tangible, breathing miracle. Ethan was not expected to have ever be... then when he was born it was almost as if we were going to lose him before we get to hold him... I do not think I could ever explain the range of emotions I felt the 18 days he was in the hospital. The exhaustion I felt... the anger, hurt, sadness, grief, and absolute joy of being a mother to this beautiful creation! Sometimes we are hardest critics... we compare ourselves to other people or to something that is intangible. Talking to a friend today I was reminded that we have such pre-notions of wh...

Ethan Alexander 9/15/2014 10 lbs. 10 oz Going home outfit! Mommy is happy! First day without any tubes! Love that face! Ethan and mommies first selfie! Daddy finally gets to hold me for the first time! Mommy meeting Ethan for the first time Waiting on Daddy, we are going home!! I know you probably thought I have fell off the face of the earth but actually I was just baking a baby and actually having him! He was born on the 15th of September at 37 weeks. From birth he had several problems and we have been in the NICU for almost 3 weeks.  I have so much I need to write.. but tonight I shall enjoy having my baby home for the first time.  I'm completely in love with my little boy! The Lord be praised for him and healing his body!!

So we are just passed 30 weeks heading to 31 weeks! I cannot believe how fast all of this is flying by. It is getting closer to D-day :) None of the women in my family have made it to 40 weeks. Only to about 37 or 38 weeks. So from ALL the information I read (Which for this over analyzing person is two books, online classes, and many articles) genetics play a big part of all  things delivery. Or I could be the odd gene out and go over 40 weeks (please NO!) ... My guess is the little mister will be here in September. Ethan is measuring a little on the bigger side. His belly is in the 68th percentile! He will be long as well. So... yeah I'm good for 37 weeks :) So, since this is my first time delivering a baby. There are so many options and opinions. As previously stated I've read and read. But I really want to go in informed and know what basic things to expect. I know that there is no way to know exactly what will happen. I found several examples of bi...

That is our Ethan! Oh my heart! He is weighing 3.1 lbs, looks great! So does mommy! Just please keep praying for us. Love  Aunt LaLa

I am determined to be a good mother... like my mom I have always dreamed about being a mommy. I mommied my cousins, my younger brother (still do sometimes), even my older sister. I was the one who reminded everyone of the rules, comforted them when they were in trouble or sad. I want to just point out as I get older and I am entering this new season I am appretiating my mother more than I ever have. When I got married and was learning to be a wife, I got a new perspective looking at my mom. Now with Ethan coming... there is a drive inside of me that says "Protect that baby" Growing up my mom would say frequently how she loved being a mom. That she loved her kids.  I can remember when Susan Smith murdered her children in the 1990s. I can still see in my mind the news program when she begged the "person" who had them to bring the home. Then I remember the day when the news came that she had actually drowned her children. My mothers face was mortified then ...