Aunt LaLa

I don't know about everyone else... But I'm SHOCKED that labor day is already here! Craziness... I would like to say that I have 2 new followers!! You know who are and thank you!! I hope you realize that every comment and new follower I get gives me the biggest smile!! I truly have fell in love with BLOGGING! I want to celebrate my blog-versary. Here is my dilemma... I've had this blog since last year. But I didn't start posted faithfully until November. However I have literally 1 post in April, 1 post in September, and 1 post in October... November I had 14 or 15. So I was thinking that I would celebrate in November, when I became a true blogger, Yes? Let me know... I'm thinking my first  GIVE AWAY!!  I'm starting to figure out how all that works exactly. That makes me excited. So yesterday I received some great feed back on my post. Thank you guys for that. Truthfully it was on my heart. If nothing else on this blog you know that I'm transpar...

So we have made it to part 5. I've really have loved remembering all the details of us falling in love. As I write I remember more and more. Also I had to go back and edit part 4 . I realized I had forgotten about a cute part of our first conversation. The edit is at the end. So get ready here we go... Part 5- The first date Lauren looked at the clock. She was getting so nervous. In about 15 minutes she would be getting off and heading to Knoxville. The next morning she would Josh.  Josh and Lauren were talking all the time and texting. It seemed an eternity ago that he had asked her out on their first official date. Once getting off work she headed to Knoxville. She wanted to buy the right outfit for this occasion. Lauren met her grandmother at a retail store once in Knoxville. Lauren could not wait. She just had a great feeling. After finding the cutest outfit (Which I still own lol) she headed over to her grandparents house. Josh and Lauren talked for a long time that nigh...

I've been hurt, I've been ignored, mistreated, abused, laughed at, made fun of, unappreciated... By people in this world. When these things happen to us and we feel "wronged" our first reaction is usually get angry get even hold a grudge be mean/hateful back I've been guilty of this. Lately I have been feeling "FED UP". That point where you are just out of things to say, do, or be. Somethings I've learned and God has reminded me: 1. Sometimes no matter what you do people are NOT going to change. They are used to their dysfunction and will probably stay there unless God changes them. 2. I need to remember that when I get fed up because people are hurting me that God never gives up on me. And that I need to forgive them. 3. I have to ask myself, how many times a day do I hurt God or ignore him? He never get "fed up" with me. 4. That forgiving someone means to continue to treat them with kindess. And to continue to let my hu...

Today I've decided I would reveal our babies name. For a couple of reasons. First- We will be trying again to conceive and feel its time to share. Not that we could ever replace or want to replace our precious baby. Second- We want to celebrate her and acknowledge what she has meant to us. I want to write something about her from now on and use her name. To answer a question I know that will be asked. No we were not far enough along to know if our baby was a he or a she. However Josh and I followed our hearts. We just felt it was a girl. We named her... Her rock is resting with the other remembrance rocks of  babies lost. Put together by a women who suffered her own loss this year, and this was her way of healing. Naming Hope was a beautiful but painful moment for Josh and I. We were talking about how we were going to cope and heal through this. A dear friend shared her experience and that she named her baby. We felt this was something that would help us. As we bo...

(Go over and check out Sherry's site. Such a cute family!) I'm Lovin that I have this link up to do. Focusing on the positive is so helpful I'm Lovin that on Saturday I had family over and we grilled out. (Photo dump) Eli loves his Monkey back pack. Every time he would bring it to us.  "Go"  Is this not sweet! My brother and his babies! :) Me and my Eli... Is he not just precious!  Josh and his baby. LOL... there is the famous menacing Pixel :) Grams came by. And of course had toys in her trunk! Olivia loves her Grandma My Aunt S... Isn't she pretty? She had her grandbaby with her but I didn't get a pic. She was sleeping, For some reason this is the only shot I got of the parents. LOL It was a relaxing weekend. And I made it through without breaking down. Actually God gave me so much peace. I felt the prayers being lifted up on my behalf. I don't know if I mentioned this but there I will be attending a woman...

I had to write tonight.  My heart has been breaking over these past two day. I miss our baby more then ever. Today was a rough day. *Stepping up on soapbox* I'm reminded daily of mothers who are blessed with these children and they don't care. They aren't concerned with their welfare first, no, they think of themselves. This enrages me. Because I'm without my child and they could care less about theirs. Your children are being intrusted to you to raise right and to love. NOT neglect, push aside, and consider a nuisance. I wish with all my heart that I could have my precious one.I don't. *Stepping down off soapbox* On our way home we got a flat tire. This is a normal stress of life. And surprisingly dealing with my grief in the big picture a flat tire isn't really that big of deal. Sorry I'm rambling. Anyhow I received an email from A Heart To Hold . This organization is doing something priceless. If you haven't lost a child this may seem odd to yo...

There is a song by Jo Dee Messina "Bring on the rain".... Yesterday my heart ached for our baby so desperately. I first started my morning with a professor who is about as far as I would be right now with our precious one. Then something was mentioned about Sunday being a baby dedication for our dear friends. I was fine until Praise and Worship last night. I think because when I worship its with my heart and soul. Of course it opens yourself up emotionally and thats when the dam broke. I was just hit with a wall of pain. So painful I could hardly breathe. At one point I was crying so hard I fought the temptation just to RUN! I just kept pouring my heart out to Jesus and at times just listening. Grief is a funny thing. You think your ok and your healing... then BAM.. My heart is broke. I miss our baby so much that at times I can't think. I am healing. And I am making it.But last night was one of those nights I just wish I had my baby. I want to cuddle her. Kis...